One of the things that Lee and I are finding out is that parenting is hard. It’s just like our folks said, “There is no manual that comes for raising children”. It’s true. We find it difficult to find a balance in our household for the type of parent that we want to be for Brennan. I want him to grow up in a warm and loving household with lots of hugs and kisses and laughter. Lee wants that as well, but he wants structure and discipline. Lee constantly reminds me that we are raising a black boy who will become a black man. He wants to lay the iron fist down.
We had dinner with friends the other night and Lee mentioned that Brennan is not afraid of me. I simply replied “So, he’s afraid of you.” Lee feels that Brennan should be afraid of both of us. My friend interjected and said, “It’s okay that Brennan is afraid of one of you. One should be the nurturer and one should be the disciplinarian.” She explained that because Lee and I both grew up in single parent homes we only had one person to truly fear. If you are a single parent, you spend a lot of time disciplining your children to make sure that they grow up “right” and not a lot of time nurturing them. I told Lee that we are doing it together, so Brennan will have the best of what we didn’t get and all of what we want. I found this great article on positive parenting and I think that is what we’re trying to do.
You can give hugs, kisses, laughter and discipline and still raise a beautiful well mannered child. Check out the below article for the 10 Golden Rules of Positive Parenting.