I’ll Never Leave You

A couple of months ago, I dropped Brennan off at home with Lee after day care and I went out to run some errands. When I came back a few hours later, Brennan said, “Mommy, Mommy, I was crying when you left.” I asked, “Why?” He responded, “Because you left me mommy.” I looked him in his eyes and simply replied, “Brennan, I only went to the store and I will always come back to you.”

That simple exchange enlightened me on the truth, I am spoiling my son.  Not in the materialistic, you have to get everything you want way, but in the I spend so much time hugging, kissing, shopping and reading to you that you think I am your friend.  This was mind blowing to me. How could you spoil your child by spending so much time with him?

I love being spoiled, but I didn’t want Brennan to be co-dependent on me.  I wanted him to respect our time together and enjoy our times apart.  Brennan is not connected at my hip.  We encourage time apart so we can have the monthly date night.  Brennan spends weekends away from us.  This past summer he spent three glorious weeks down south in North Carolina and Virginia with friends and relatives while Lee and I traveled to Hawaii.  I think it was harder for me than it was for him.  I felt as though I was leaving my heart and soul when I dropped him off.  However, I quickly got over that when we landed in Honolulu.  I was in heaven and Lee and I needed the rest and adult time.  

It was in Hawaii that I realized one thing, I needed to spoil my husband like I was spoiling Brennan.  I needed to give him reason to miss me when we were away and light up when I walked through the room.  I hated thinking I was being a neglectful wife, but I was.  It was at this point that we committed to making our marriage a priority and our family would come after each other.  We were told in pre-marital counseling to put God first, each other second and our family third.  We shuffled those priorities when we became parents and it showed.  I was not spoiling my man and it hurt.  We spent so much time in Hawaii reconnecting with each other.  We committed to our monthly date night and carving out our time without Brennan.

It has been somewhat of a culture shock trying to retrain my mind and brain to get back to the importance of my man, but it has been a fun tutorial.  We spend time talking, holding hands and remembering to check-in with each other.  He is my priority and I am his.  Brennan still misses me when I’m gone, but so does his dad and that makes me smile more than you will ever know.