Capricorn Women

Do you think that part of our inability to see each other is that we aren’t compatible because of our astrological signs?

I’m a Capricorn. I love being a Capricorn. Probably because it is the only thing I’ve ever known, but when I tell some people my sign the laugh and say “Oh Boy.” I’ve heard it all…

  • Capricorns can’t take a joke.
  • Capricorns are rigid.
  • Capricorns don’t forgive.
  • Capricorns are closed off people.

As a Capricorn woman, I agree with all the above statements. I have a hard time laughing at amateur comedians. I can totally catch a joke from a comedian, but normal everyday people who think they’re comedians have a hard time letting me know that they are joking about stuff. I once told a guy that “My brain isn’t wired to get jokes via text or phone. Only in person.”

As he got to know me, he agreed that it is probably true. But finding someone who gets you is becoming an interesting task. There are many suitors but I find that many people play games. Disguise their wants/needs in ambiguity and try to act like we want the same things.

In other words they are pursuing me for their own purpose. Some get eliminated easily based off incompatibility. Some go through the process and pretend that they are what I’m looking for. Others lose interest because “I’m not giving it up”.

In the end, this is a lonely journey. But, I’m a resilient. I’m not easily swayed by the emotions of people I don’t know. I will complain, over analyze and try to determine your true motives, but in the end I know that it will probably not work. I’m not into playing games. I don’t express my emotions easily. I’m cautious with men.

It’s a trait

 

The Capricorn woman is as romantic and emotional as anyone else, but can be somewhat inhibited in expressing her emotions, often preferring to perform practical tasks to help loved ones in preference to making purely romantic gestures. If she seems more interested in being your personal assistant than getting you into bed, this is often just her way of showing she cares!

She will be exceptionally cautious of making a commitment until she knows that your traits and lifestyle are compatible with hers. She is very cautious by nature, and not one to rush into anything, so again don’t be misled if her interest appears mainly platonic initially. It’s quite normal with Capricorns for a partner to initially assume “she doesn’t really like me”. –  http://www.compatible-astrology.com/capricorn-woman.html

I won’t give up. I will continue to be optimistic and remain steadfast in the search for optimal compatibility. I’m in no rush.

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Co-Parenting and Death

Hey Everyone!

Sorry for the delay. It’s been a rough weekend compounded with a bad Monday where I didn’t feel good and was home in the bed.

As I’ve stated before, co-parenting can be a real drag when the parents think and do things differently. As a strong personality (yes, I will admit it) it can be hard for me to not intercede my opinion on what is in the best interest of my child. I’ve learned that I can’t do that. My ex often referred to me as a controlling b**** and I have to remember that what he does on the week’s that he has my son is what he chooses. Do I like it? Nope. Do I think you should follow that logic? Nope, but to keep the peace – I do.

That being said, let me tell you how that dang logic can fail. Last Thursday, my son’s father stopped by to see munch at his request and then proceeded to tell him that the family dog, Bailey, will have to be put to sleep soon because he was sick. My son had a major breakdown and ran in the house crying to see me and talk to me about it. I asked his dad, “Why would you tell him that?” He replied, “It’s true, the dog hasn’t eaten or drank little water since last Friday.” “So, you’re letting him suffer and wait it out?” I asked. “No, munch said he wants to say good-bye to Bailey first” was his reply.

I disagreed with this logic. Our child was 7. He didn’t need to see him dying. WTH? I said nothing though. You know, that dang co-parenting thing.

Bailey had been sick for two years. Two years. The longest two years of my life. I watched his slow decline and offered to split the vet costs with my ex. He never responded. Last November, I decided that I would no longer split custody of the dog. My ex wasn’t taking good care of him and I had hoped that my decision would have forced him to give Bailey up or take him to the vet. I said that I would keep him if they should go out of town.

He said nothing. “Okay” was his response. In April was the last time I kept Bailey. I told my ex that Bailey’s health is failing and this is ridiculous. You need to get him to the vet. It didn’t happen. My ex was hospitalized in June on a Friday. On Sunday he asked me could I get Bailey. It was 48 hours later. Didn’t you think of him Friday when you were hospitalized? Why are you now thinking of him on Sunday? I replied “No.” He called me all kinds of names and told me how I failed Bailey and threw him away like I did our family.

I was hurt. I didn’t throw away our family. I ended our relationship. I cried. But, I resolved to not give into the bitterness and let the pain suffocate me like a wet blanket trying to extinguish a fire. It was no good. It did suffocate me.

I told him through text that Bailey needs to be taken care of by someone else. My ex couldn’t walk him anymore. He was in denial and couldn’t see beyond his own need for Bailey to remain with him. Bailey was going to the bathroom on pee pads in his house , no exercise or medical attention.  I said a prayer and let Bailey go.

It pained me to see him when I would drop off things at my ex’s house. He looked so sick and sad. I prayed. I let him go in my heart. I begged my friends who were friends with him to please talk to him about giving up Bailey. They didn’t. It wasn’t their place. Whose place was it? Mine? Nope, he didn’t listen to me.

Bailey was getting sicker.

That suffering ended Friday, September 25th when my son and his dad walked in their house and found Bailey dead. He was 9. Would have been 10 on November 4th.  My son had a breakdown.

When I spoke to him he said, “Mommy, Bailey’s dead. His eyes were open and he had a scratch on his eye. Mommy” My heart broke. My munch was experiencing first hand the pain of losing someone very close to him. Bailey had been in his life since he was born. We introduced them as brothers. I tried to calm him down. My son asked, “Mommy, don’t you care that he’s gone?” “Yes munch, but Bailey is in a much better place. He’s not suffering anymore and I need you to calm down. To know that he is not in pain.”

Saturday morning my ex calls and tells me that he needed me to take munch to therapy. He can’t take him. He has to deal with the proper disposal of Bailey’s body. Yep, I had a WTH? moment but couldn’t say anything right? My munch spent the night at his dad’s house with Bailey’s body. I was hurt. I was angry. What is wrong with his dad? Why can’t he see past his own pain and take his son out of the house? But, I’m not allowed to ask questions.

My son cried in my arms all Saturday. Heartfelt, deep and painful tears that came from the depths of his soul. He cried asking, “Mommy, why won’t God raise Bailey from the dead like he did Jesus? He knew we needed Jesus and he knows I need Bailey.” With tears streaming down my face I just held him and rocked him. I kept telling him, “Bailey wouldn’t want to see you sad. He hated to see you cry. He cried when you cried. He loved you.” But, what should I have said? What am I supposed to do?

Pick up the pieces of a child’s broken spirit? I’m trying. We made a memory box that we will be putting words, thoughts, stories, memories and pictures of Bailey in it. There are so many things that munch didn’t know about Bailey. I’m adding to the box. Encouraging his dad to do so and trying to  ease my son’s pain.

He will never forget the loss. We will never forget. We just have to do the best we can in the midst of his pain. Co-parenting through death sucks. You have to live with the other parent’s decision even if you don’t think it is in the best interest of your child.

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Follow Friday

Hi Everyone,

Happy Friday!

This is my first #followfriday post.  I have met so many wonderful people and I would like us to connect through the various social channels.  Currently I’m on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Google +. Would you like to connect?

Facebook
I am definitely trying to increase my likes as well as readership. So, please click this link: A Thomas Point of View and go to my page. Don’t forget to hit the like button.

FB Page for A Thomas Point of View

 

Twitter

I’m also on Twitter. If you are on Twitter too, check me out and follow me. I will follow back. You can follow me on Twitter by clicking this link:  MsKeeinMD and clicking the follow button.

Twitter for mskeeinmd

Instagram

I’m also on Instagram and would love to connect with you as well. You would just need to type in my name in the search button and my page will come up and just follow me or you can just click here:  MsKeeinMD

Instagram

Google +

For those of you that use Google, I’m also on Google +. You can add me to your circles here: Tikeetha

Google +

Well, that’s all my social pages, I would love to connect and thank you for following me on this #followfriday post. Have a wonderful weekend!

3 Reasons to Daydream Your Way to DBDO Tomorrow

For all my bloggers out there! Check out this awesome Meet and Greet!

Dream Big, Dream Often

jumpstartThis is a simple reminder that tomorrow morning I will be conducting my bimonthly Meet and Greet.  These are usually very popular so be sure to get up early and get your blog near the top of this comment thread!

Also, I will be reblogging posts starting at 8:30 am est.  All you have to do is leave your link in the comments of that post. Please do not leave posts today!

And lastly, I will also provide a link for everyone to connect across social media platforms.  This is a great way to drive your page awareness even deeper.  If you don’t have social media pages for your blog you are truly missing the boat.

If you could please reblog this post and help spread the word!!

I hope everyone is having a great Thursday!

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The Man

No, you can’t date me.

You can’t waste my time with your fictitious lies

Or mediocre behavior

You can’t try to woo me with your one liners

Or be the main man in my life

You can’t seduce me with your looks

You can’t wow me with your career

You can’t be anything to me.

Why?

Because I want more

More time

More energy

More courting

More conversations

More…everything

And you just aren’t ready

Step aside man and let the one who is destined to take me as his queen see me

No more hiding behind your fake references for a future or trusting that you care

I just want to be his forever and you my friend…

Can’t even compete with his swag

Welcome Fall

Today is the first day of Fall and I’m super excited. The weather change has been good. I like cooler weather. I’m looking forward to wearing layers, scarves, boots and sweaters. I’m looking forward to the leaves changing and my fall photo shoot with munch.

Fall and Spring are my favorite seasons. Even though I don’t like pumpkin (I have an aversion to orange foods) or the smell of cinnamon, I love pumpkin patches, Halloween and apple cider. Aww, the little things bring me joy!

Welcome to Fall loves!

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We All Settle

I had drinks with my girlfriends earlier this month and we were talking about our experiences with men. One of my girlfriends said, “I don’t want you to settle.” I replied, “We all settle.” She disagreed. She said no you shouldn’t settle. You should compromise. I responded that you settle in your relationships and in your marriage. Everyone settles.

Let me tell you why I think we all settle. Dictionary.com defines to settle as a:

verb (used without object), settled, settling.

to decide, arrange, or agree (often followed by on or upon):

to settle on a plan of action.

That being said, I believe that we all settle in some form or fashion in our relationship. No one is perfect. You decide that you are willing to settle (accept) things about your partner in order to let your relationship grow. You get where I’m going with this? Think about this…

You meet a man who embodies all the qualities you would like in a partner. However, he has children. You’ve always said that you don’t want a man with children. You decide to look past the children rule and enter into a relationship with this man because who is and what he brings in the relationship outweigh the fact that he has children. You are settling because you really like him and you know that you can accept the fact that he has children.

See what I’m saying? Everyone settles because no one is perfect and you are willing to settle in order to be in a relationship with someone you think that you are compatible with. I get that you don’t like the term settle, but it isn’t compromise. Compromise operates under the premise that we both lose.

Dictionary.com defines compromise as:

noun

a settlement of differences by mutual concessions; an agreement reached by adjustment of conflicting or opposing claims, principles,etc., by reciprocal modification of demands.

In a compromise, we settle our differences by mutual concessions. We both lose. Let me give you an example:

I want you to take out the trash every day. You say no, I will take out the trash twice a week. We compromise on 4 times a week. I got less than 7 and you gave more than 2. We both lost.

In both scenarios, the underlining fact is that a conclusion is made. You can’t compromise on children. Either you will settle and accept the fact that the person you like has children or you will move on.

I know we may not like the term “settle” because of the negative connotations it conjures in our minds, but I don’t look at it like that. I’m not asking you to settle for a drug user and you’re not. I’m asking you to decide what things about a person are worth settling for.

Look at it like this…what you want, what you hope to get and what you actually may end up with may vary and you have to decide if you want to settle for the person you are presented with. If yes, great, but if not, no worries, keep looking.

Compromising-and-Settling

Until next time loves!

 

My Random Musings

Dating You Must Be Hard

All men that date me have to know that their name may end up in a pop song. – Kesha

“It must be hard dating you”.  That’s what one of my girlfriends said to me a couple of weeks ago. Over happy hour she said, “I can’t imagine how a man feels. Dating you must be hard.” I asked “Why?” She said, “Because you’re very open and transparent on your blog and I wonder if he has to feel like he is going to end up on your blog someday.” I laughed and said, “Yeah, I will probably write about it, but many men don’t read my blog so I guess dating me isn’t hard.”

But, I thought about it. I mean should I be concerned that the men that I date don’t read my blog? Nope. I realized that I can’t force someone to read my blog unless they want too. Heck, my own family doesn’t read it. So, I won’t be deterred. However, one man does.

He’s the one that I loosely based the short story of Faith and Teddy after. He reads it ALL THE TIME. Even when I write in code about him, he knows it’s about him. He makes me laugh because he’ll say, “It’s cool that you write about me. It means that I’m your inspiration.”

Or my headache.

I like that he reads my stuff, which is why he’s still around. He questions me, supports me and inspires me. I like that. However, I guess I have to wonder how serious could I truly get about a man who doesn’t take the time to read my stuff?

One of my favorite movies, Brown Sugar, talks about two best friends and their relationship struggles and the female lead, Sanna Lathan, loved the fact that her best friend read her writing faithfully. She realized that having a man who was supportive of her career goals was important. So, the question I have is how important is it that a man support your passions? Does it matter in the dating and just getting to know each other stage or it’s a requirement to get to the next level?

In my opinion…Yes, it matters that you support my passions and dreams in order to get to the next level.  This is a requirement to be with me. You have to also understand that I may write about our relationship and you need to be cool with that.  I want someone who is confident in being in a relationship with me. I want them to see that I am open and I am transparent with my readers and I don’t believe in censorship. He and/or our situation may end up as a post. It’s part of the process. But, I also want him to know that it is part of my growing. I write-through it all; joy, pain and difficult times. It helps me and it helps others. I want a man who sees that.

The Fat Tales: A Dose of Reality

I’m fat.

Yep, I said it. I’m not going to sit here and lie and say that I didn’t know that I was overweight. I did. I know every time I get on the scale. I know by the flabby wings under my arms. I know by the midsection that was substantially smaller before I had munch. However, that was 7 years ago. Can I really still claim him as being the reason for having a fluffy cloud for a belly? Nope.

I came head to head with the truth last Friday while sitting at the doctor’s office. I had completed a sleep study the first week in September and went to hear the results. The result was…a mild case of sleep apnea. I was unmoved. What does a mild case mean?

Well, according to my doctor during deep REM stages (3) my oxygen dropped to 85%. So, I didn’t stop breathing? There was a reduction in my oxygen levels? Yep.

OSA_diagram

He began to explain what sleep apnea was:

Sleep apnea affects the way you breathe when you’re sleeping. Your breathing is briefly interrupted or becomes very shallow during sleep. My mild case of sleep apnea reduced my oxygen level in my blood 3 times during my entire sleep to 85% each time.

Anatomy of a sleep apnea episode

As airflow stops during a sleep apnea episode, the oxygen level in your blood drops. Your brain responds by briefly disturbing your sleep enough to kick start breathing—which often resumes with a gasp or a choking sound. If you have obstructive sleep apnea, you probably won’t remember these awakenings. Most of the time, you’ll stir just enough to tighten your throat muscles and open your windpipe. In central sleep apnea, you may be conscious of your awakenings.

http://www.helpguide.org/articles/sleep/sleep-apnea.htm#causes

Now, that you know what it is you know what this man recommended? A Continuous Positive Airflow Pressure (CPAP) machine.  A CPAP machine for a mild case of sleep apnea that I will only need to use for the next 6 to 8 months. I was stunned silent. He told me that there were two treatment options: 1. a CPAP or 2. a mouth piece. He recommends a CPAP. I was stunned silent.

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He asked, “Are you okay?” I replied, “Not the news that I was hoping for.” He said, “I understand, but it is a good thing that we caught it early.” I left depressed, disgusted and defeated. I had my coming to Jesus moment and realized that I needed to get my fat butt back in the gym. I had to get my weight down if I still planned to be around.

I spent most of the weekend discussing my medical history and options with my friends and co-workers and saying that I really didn’t want a CPAP machine to use for the next 6 to 8 months. I told them that for a mild case I would like to try the mouth piece and lose weight.

They encouraged my decision. I started to research what the treatment recommendations were for a mild case of sleep apnea and discovered that the Mayo Clinic said:

For milder cases of sleep apnea, your doctor may recommend only lifestyle changes, such as losing weight or quitting smoking. And if you have nasal allergies, your doctor will recommend treatment for your allergies. If these measures don’t improve your signs and symptoms or if your apnea is moderate to severe, a number of other treatments are available.

Certain devices can help open up a blocked airway.

Yep, all signs were pointing to me losing weight (I don’t smoke).  I mean seriously lose weight this time. I had been slacking off with the gym. However, I did increase my awareness on carbs and sugars and reduced both. That has resulted in a weight loss of 8 pounds from my physical last month to my appointment last Friday. Yep, I saw some light at the end of this dreary tunnel.

What did I do? I got my fat butt to the gym. I’ve worked out every day. It sucks. It hurts and I have drank more water than I thought my body could consume, but I will not live hooked up to a machine at night. I am the captain of my fate and I can determine to put down the unhealthy food and just move. Get moving and get serious about my health.

What happened next? I emailed the doctor. I told him:

Hi Dr. M,

I hope that this email finds you well. I spent most of the weekend thinking over what you told me about the results of my sleep study and that you are recommending a CPAP machine and only needing that machine for the next 6 or 8 months and the benefits of it, but I have to tell you that I don’t want it.

I would rather try to partner with you to be an advocate of my health and not be tied up to machines. I would like to try the mouth piece first and review in 6 months. My goal is to reduce my weight by 40 pounds in hopes that it along with the mouth piece will show a change from my prior test. That being said, let’s try the mouth piece first and repeat the tests to determine if my mild sleep apnea needs a CPAP.

thanks,
TT

I decided that I wanted to partner with my provider to lead a healthier lifestyle and not just commit to medications or machines. Let’s work together to get me on track. Give me a timetable. Give me a goal. Retest me. If nothing changes, then let’s talk next steps. I don’t want to take drastic measures for a mild case of anything unless it’s to reduce my caloric intake for a healthier life.

So, I’m back on track. I’m motivated by the fact that I don’t want machines or medicine. I’m motivated by the fact that I have a 7 year old that is counting on me to grow up and dance with him at his wedding. I’m counting on the fact that my fat butt needs to move!

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