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Dating at 40

Tikeetha TMby
30 Comments on Dating at 40

“To find a prince, you gotta kiss some toads. ” – Foxy Brown

I know that in this dating age you are bound to run into men who think they are still young and playing the field. One of the things that I’ve learned regardless of age, race or religion some men will never grow up. They think they are young and hot and everyone wants them. Ugh!

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I’m here to tell you that if you are one of those men that think that you’re so hot and you don’t have to work for a good woman. “It’s a big fat lie”. You do have to work.

online-dating-nene-lieYou have to work for the good ones and they should be working for you. It’s mutual. We want to be able to tell our girlfriends that we’ve been fortunate to meet another nice man. He seems sane, well-mannered and has a good job.

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However, the choices are few and we women feel that if we meet a nice guy that “Oh God, I’ve hit the jackpot. He has all his teeth, smells nice, good hygiene, sense of humor, loves God, has a good job.” Woohoo I’ve hit the jackpot! Thank you sweet baby Jesus!
Trust me that we say that so rarely though.
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Due to our limited choices and the pickings being slim we resort to on-line dating in hopes that we will be fortunate enough to meet a nice man. You know one who isn’t too narcissistic, pessimistic or a porn star? The ones that you won’t be ashamed to introduce to your friends or family or even your church members.

We are not that fortunate though. Too many men are self-absorbed and trying to lure us into believing their profile lies. Lies such as you have Master’s Degree and your introductions and sentence structures indicate that you can’t spell worth a dang. They use text talk in their profile and you have a hard time trying to decipher the message like it’s Morse code.

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Really dude we think? You can’t even write a complete sentence so I’m sure that no accredited University would have given you a Master’s Degree. Do you even have a diploma? Probably not. Ugh guys…we hate when a man can’t even write a complete sentence. Get it together!
But, that’s not all. It frustrates us when we meet a prospective candidate and we engage in a back and forth on-line chat and you take that to mean I really like you. Nope. It just means that we can converse like two civilized individuals. Besides, you haven’t even worked up to getting my fake Google number yet.
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These men display real neediness up front. That is a major turn-off. We want to scream “Stop being so stalkerish!” We need you to understand this…Yes, we have a life and sometimes we may want to wash our hair, watch Scandal and talk to other people instead of staying on-line and chatting with you. Don’t take it personal. Just be you. Be patient and be understanding that we have a life outside of this dang on-line chat.
Also, if you think you paying for the first date is a problem. Let me know upfront. Don’t take me to a restaurant and then look at me to pull out my wallet when you asked me out. Nope. That is a wrong first move. Oh, and if you are bold enough to ask me out and then can’t pay I will politely pay for my own date and walk the heck out.
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McDonald’s or any fast food restaurant is not a good first date choice. If you’re on a budget and can only afford McDonald’s then why are you dating? Why are you contacting me when my profile clearly says that I’m an analyst and you are between jobs? Really? Step up your game sir! Stay in your lane. It could be the broke, I’m unemployed and I’m looking for a girl to do a Netflix and chill with me lane. That’s fine. That’s just not me.
Another frustrating thing is folks that don’t have a profile picture. Really? Are you hiding from the feds? What’s the deal man? If you can’t put yourself out there, what makes you think that I will respond? I won’t. Men are visual creatures, but so are women. We want to know if you look like a science experiment gone wrong so we can not respond. We don’t want to waste our time. Looks are important. Love is not blind and neither am I.
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Those men get rejected quickly. We just don’t have time to do a back and forth with a potential man who is a 2 and we are a 7. I’m just saying. Know your numbers or approach me on the streets and strike up a conversation. If you’re that interesting then I MAY give you my number. No promises though.

Finally, be honest. Eventually we may see each other and I don’t want to be so disgusted by your gross misrepresentation of yourself that I start wondering am I being pranked. Don’t lie about your height, weight, facial features, body or anything. Dude, if you are missing all your teeth and have a peg leg I think you need to disclose that ASAP.  Please don’t make me sit there trying to fake interest during a meet and greet wishing that God would just strike me down so I can get the heck out of there. 
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There’s nothing wrong with you. You just have to love you. I don’t. Doesn’t make you not a good person. Just maybe you’re not the person for me. Does it really matter that you’re not? Nope. Just love yourself enough to not try to trick me into liking you. I promise that it will go over better.
Ah, the joys of dating!

30 comments

  4. I’m glad I lucked out on the online dating racket. It took almost a year, but there are some crazy ass women on there also doing the exact same things you are describing. Good Luck though and happy hunting!

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      1. It’s a rat race that’s for sure, but I’m not a “clubbing” type of fellow anymore and I was getting labeled a stalker sitting on the same bench at the mall….joke, joke, joke.

        Liked by 1 person

  13. I love this post! Reminds me of my misadventures. “When the dude is shorter than me and I’m 5 feet” Geez. That sounds like my next blog post! Girl I have stories too, your, errrr, YOU’RE gonna love it. LOL.

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