Children Make You Drink

It’s true. Children make you drink. Not when they are first-born. Nope, when they can walk and talk. I refused to believe it. I had the first time mommy bliss. You know the delusion that this precious  baby would never cause me stress. Wrong! Truly you may need alcohol to survive years 3-18 or a few “nerve pills” aka Vicodin from the headaches they may cause.

Munch is the best thing that ever happened to me. However, he can work my last dang nerve. Which was the case this week. He worked my nerves and I had to find the strength not to lose it. I was questioning my sanity. I realized that I’m too dang old to have children. I mean I’m 40. “God, please help me!” I cried out in frustration.

Munch and I have talked repeatedly about personal responsibility. He doesn’t have any. What does it mean? What are my expectations of him? I’m trying to mold a 7-year-old’s mind into being accountable for his own actions and stop giving excuses and blaming everyone else.

But, it is like fighting a battle. Not just any battle, but an uphill battle pushing 3,000 pounds of manure in a wooden cart kind of battle. He is famous for not accepting responsibility for his decisions. His alone. He will quickly blame other’s for his actions. This includes: his classmates, random children on the street, the teachers, any adults. You get it? It is never his fault.

It frustrates me when he doesn’t take responsibility for his actions. Why can’t he understand that his pushing, pulling, lying or evading direct questions annoy me to the utmost? Why doesn’t he understand that every time I have to try to figure out his foolish behavior that I get 12 gray hairs and I can’t afford to go gray before my time? Ugh!

Kids!

Here’s what happened…Munch has a habit of not turning in his homework when it is due. Primarily his reading log, but the other homework has occasionally taken a hit as well. To say that I’m not a happy camper is an understatement. You see my munch is in the second grade and homework is about an hour to an hour and a half a night. You know I value time right?

We work on his homework. I help him with the difficult concepts and break them down in plain English (he’s in a French school). I have to listen to him read every night for a minimum of 20 minutes a night and then sign his reading log. It’s a lot of work for him to not turn it in.

I remind him the day it is due to please turn it in. The teacher announces it in class to the students to turn in their homework. He still doesn’t turn it in. When I get home the night it was due, I ask him to bring me his book bag. I don’t trust him to just bring me the homework for the week. I need to review any notes that may be stuffed in his bag. I know when it is bad he will act like he can’t find something.

When I ask him about why he didn’t turn in his homework, he lies better than any politician could ever do. However, he forgets one crucial piece of information…I’m smarter. I know right? How could a 7-year-old doubt the intelligence of an adult, but believe me he does.

 

This week’s response to why he didn’t turn in his reading log…

My memory is not good as it used to be.

WTH? You’re seven!

The excuses frustrate me. Cause me to have a headache and really just disappoint me. I then have to reiterate the definition of personal responsibility and then email the teacher asking can I turn it in late. I would rather have it late than a zero but dang I feel like a failure when I do that. Of course, it is marked off 10 points (in her words… to be fair to the other children) and then that frustrates me. I want to scream.

But, I don’t. I talk calmly. Okay, well maybe in a frustrated and elevated voice indicating that I am disappointed in his behavior and that I will not allow him to make a mockery of education. I fix him dinner, put him on punishment with no television or Ipad, help him with his homework and send him to bed. I then rub my head and ask God for peace! This child is causing me to go insane.

It has to get better right?

Ah, the joys of parenting!