You know sometimes I just can’t pray for folks who mean me harm. You know the people who try to maliciously destroy me or despise me so much that all they do is stress me out. I know what you’re thinking…why are you letting them? Human nature. I have to deal with difficult people.
I hate it though. I hate that I have to interact or deal with people who have grudges against me and strive to cause me misery. I just pray the typical sinner’s prayer, “God please smite my enemies. You promised me that you would make them my footstools. Any day now would be super.”
I told you that it was a sinner’s prayer. But, what do you do when it is affecting how you co-parent? How do you get better? I know that I can’t change others. I can only change me. I know I can’t make people respect me or treat me like I treat them. I just want to co-parent in peace.
However, my spirit was in turmoil last night. I was feeling overwhelmed and tearful at the relationship that feels sometimes like it is an uphill battle. In a perfect world, my son’s father and I would just want to do what is best for our son. Protect his spirit and truly respect each other as co-parents. But, that doesn’t happen.
In my very intimate circles I share my frustrations, fears and tears as it relates to this situation. The common consensus is to just be strong and pray for him. What? Pray for him? Why? I can’t. He is so mean to me sometimes and praying isn’t going to help.
You see what I did right there? I tried to tell folks that God can’t. That I know more than God because God can’t change him. However, God always knows how to bring me back in line. Let me tell you how…
My friend was going through some things on her job and her boss was attacking her from every which way. She feared losing her job. She prayed. She sent out her resume. She prayed. She was constantly afraid that she would lose her job that it was stressing her out. Causing her physical, mental and spiritual pain. One day when we were having dinner I was sharing my experience with her when I went through something similar with a former supervisor.
I told her that it all worked out in my favor, but I wish I would have prayed for my supervisor. That was my only regret. I told her that she needs to pray for those that wish to cause her harm. Pray for her enemies. Pray for her supervisor. I told her that it is hard, but you have to try to pray for her. She said okay.
We had a chance to catch up recently and I asked her how everything is going at work and she said, “Better. No problems with my supervisor saying disrespectful things to me, but I still don’t trust the environment, but she’s a lot better.” I smiled. She said, “I remember that you told me to pray for her and I did. I believe that prayer worked.”
I gave her advice over something that I wished I had done when under attack. My God! I didn’t know how soon it would be before God gave me another opportunity to do what He has commanded me to do.
Matthew 5:43-45 (NKJV)
Love Your Enemies
43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor[a] and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you,[b] 45 that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.
I had to pray for my son’s father. Why? Because I know better. I prayed a sinner’s prayer, but I’m committing to pray for him and for all those that persecute me. I didn’t know how to start. I mean what could I say that would make sense?
Thank God for friends. He sent me these prayers this morning and I already started to pray because it can only improve our relationship and our ability to co-parent effectively. Maybe my praying will inspire you to pray for those who despise you as well. Collectively I believe we can make a change.