Book Review: Lose The Cape: Never Will I Ever…and then I had kids!

Hey Everyone!

I was given the incredible opportunity to review the book Lose the Cape: Never Will I Ever…and then I had kids! I was super excited because this was my first ever book review. I see so many bloggers and wondered could I actually do that? What if I didn’t like the book? Could I be truthful if I didn’t?

Yes, I could. However, I must tell you that I LOVED THIS BOOK. It was a collection of stories from parents who all said things that they wouldn’t do when they had kids and the realities of what happened when they did. How many of us parents said the same things before we had kids?

Let me raise my hand.

I did it. I remembered when my best friend gave birth to her son a year before I had mine. I hated that she didn’t return my phone calls, couldn’t make time for going out and when I came over she looked a hot dang mess and would doze off or do other things when I wanted to talk. I vowed to never be that type of parent.

But, payback was a b*tch right? Ha!

When I gave birth to munch the next year I totally got what she went through and more. I was exhausted. To tired to get dressed, shower or return phone calls. I couldn’t be more exhausted from being a mom. I cried when I had to supplement formula because my precious munch wasn’t getting enough breast milk. When I had post partum depression, my best friend was right there with me.

She never said “I told you so.” She just smiled and helped me out. Like friends are supposed to do.

I can’t tell you that I wasn’t awful. I was. I was becoming a text book parent. Reading everything. I thought I had it all figured out. That parenting would be easy. But, it wasn’t. From not making his baby food, to letting him watch TV and having him get dirty after I just put a new outfit on him, this entire parenting thing wasn’t as I thought it would be. It was hard.

Lose the Cape: Never Will I Ever…and then I had kids!  prepares you for the worst and educates you that it is okay that your pre-conceived notions go out the window. Most of us had grandiose ideas of what we would be like as parents; what we would allow our children to do and all those things we would never allow our children to do. We may have sworn we would never let our child watch more than 30 minutes of television, or sleep in our bed, or eat chicken nuggets or God forbid, cheese from a can (gasp!). Yet, the moment those little bundles of joy entered our lives, reality took over. Soon enough, we realized that before children, we knew nothing about being parents.

From breastfeeding to co-sleeping, pledging to feed our children all natural, home cooked meals and so forth, there often comes a point in time where surviving parenthood supersedes your views and your “nevers” slip away. Right?

Never Will I Ever is a collection of essays by mothers (and one brave dad!) who share their stories of how they evolved as parents and learned that when it comes to raising children, we can never say never.

I highly recommend this book as a gift to any parent, expecting parent or someone who wants to be a parent someday. It will change your mindset and give you clarity about letting your children just be. Yes, you will have to adjust your life to this little monster, but you know what? It’s so worth it.

lose the cape

You can buy the book here on Amazon:  Lose the Cape: Never Will I Ever (and then I had kids!)

Check out the social media links for more information:

Bloghttp://losethecape.com

Facebookhttp://facebook.com/LosetheCape

Twitterhttp://twitter.com/losethecape

Pinteresthttp://www.pinterest.com/losethecape

Advertisements

What Color Black Am I?

OMG! She did the dang thing!

mind JO business

I am the color of a dark past

Of low quality tin and cast iron water fountains

The color of restrooms and cafe entrances created to keep me away

Of deadly “Whites Only” Coca-Cola vending machines

Uncomfortable bus rides cloaked in fear

My seat has been labeled

My seat has been labeled

I am 4-5 rows in the back of the bus

You don’t want to see me

I am the color of a “Whites Only” sign

Of segregated restaurants, parks, transport and schools

The color of “separate but equal”

Of poor quality schools and education

Unequal distribution of America’s wealth

White mannequins

White mannequins

I am searching for my reflection

You don’t want me to see me

I am the color of a vote denied

Of absent representation for change

The color of the voiceless

Of disenfranchising poll taxes and literacy tests

Beaten – set on fire – lynched from my home

For trying

For trying

I am the suppressed black…

View original post 232 more words

Random Ramblings on a Friday

It’s the last Friday in January and I’m sitting here with a lot on my mind and not a clear thought out post to give you so let me just run off what I’m thinking about and we can all breathe a huge sigh of relief because my mind is overloaded. I’ve taken the liberty to organize them in themes, so I guess that’s pretty cool too right?

Blogging Theme – February

I’ve come up with a theme for February. Yay! I’m going to do a post each day leading up to Valentine’s Day about love. Nope, I’m not in love (yet, maybe someday) but I wanted to give you the good, bad, ugly and everything in between posts about love. I challenge some of my bloggers to do the same. It’s 14 days of a love fest. Should be interesting.

The next 15 days after Valentine’s Day will be devoted to Black History pioneers. I will still post some updates about my life (parenting, relationships, resolutions, fitness, etc) in the mix, but I want to highlight some of those awesome people that came before me or are currently making strides in today’s society. I’m excited.

Parenting – Post Blizzard Update

I’m back at work for the first time in a week. Schools are still closed, but after care was open and I sent my son. Woohoo! Can you say “FREEDOM”? I arrived early to work. My little munch had the audacity to be sad and say, “But mommy, I’m not ready to go back to my daddy’s house. I’m not finished spending time with you.” I smiled and kissed him tenderly and said, “Boy, bye! It’s daddy’s time and mommy has spent more than enough energy catering to you during this blizzard. I love you and will see you next Friday.”

Speaking of munch, I realized that I’m a better mother because I work. Work is like a vacation I get to take everyday whereby I get to have adult conversations about things other than Alvin and the Chipmunks, Thieves and Bandits (thanks Sparkle) and every animal in the jungle. It was overwhelming. He’s the best and I wouldn’t trade him for the world, but dang. He doesn’t like to sleep and he insists on keeping me updated on every little thing that happens when I cut the lights on. Do I seem frustrated? LOL. Kids!

Finally, I realized that my munch seems to be packing on the pounds. I told him that we are re-enrolling in swim at the next session and spring soccer registration begins next week because we have to stay healthy. It probably didn’t help that I cooked him 3 meals a day. Nope, I didn’t meal plan. Remember I was having a panic attack? But, we’re going to learn how to ride the bike and walk the track. Quality time spent that will allow us to be healthy.

This Weekend

I get to spend some time with Mr. C. I haven’t seen him in over 2 weeks. Add it to my feeling under-weather, throw a blizzard in the mix and his intense work schedule and I am actually missing this guy. Shh! Don’t tell him though. I’m trying to keep it a secret. I don’t like to show my emotions.

Speaking of emotions, I’m having a hard time communicating with him. He’s funny, shy and an introvert and as you can guess it…I’m an extrovert, funny and very outspoken. Can you say opposite’s attract? The current discussion item…are we moving at a snail’s pace? I’m not for moving fast, but I think an appropriate speed of 30 mph is better than 1 mile in 3 days. Do you get what I’m saying? Ugh! Dating is confusing as heck!

Finally, I’m reading this great book called Lose the Cape: Never Will I Ever … and Then I Had Kids which I will be posting a review on my blog on Sunday. I was originally scheduled to post the review yesterday, but with the blizzard, panic attacks and school closings I wasn’t in any type of shape to get it done. I’m more than 60% through the book (I will be finished tonight) and I can’t wait to do my first book review and share my thoughts with you. Ya’ll know I love being a mommy right?

51Tc1xLSmmL._SX331_BO1,204,203,200_

 

That’s it, I think? We’ll touch base on Sunday when I post my review on the above book. Talk to you soon!

TBT – A Cars Themed Party

In my Throwback Thursday moment, I’m sharing pictures of Munch’s 5th birthday. This was the last official party that he had. It was a few months after his dad and I decided to split and we hadn’t told him yet. We wanted to make sure that he knew he wasn’t to blame and didn’t want to ruin his day. But, it was hard being in so much pain and trying to put on a smile for the world.

However, he didn’t know the worst kept secret.  He was just happy to see all his friends there. He didn’t notice that we basically ignored each other the entire party because we made it about him. Thankfully, so because as you can see he loved it.

b5

b5.3

b5.2

Blizzard and Munch

So in my continuing crisis of living with all this dang snow I have to tell you that I’m dying. I’m ready for munch to go back to school, but schools are closed again today.  Probably because some neighborhoods still hadn’t been plowed. Really? It ended on Sunday. However, my munch is enjoying all this time off and being able to spend it with me.

Me. Not so much. It’s been an interesting week of too much time with my kid and not a lot of alcohol. Why? Because mommy juice is off limits with no other adult supervision. We’ve been talking, tickling, laughing and playing and I’m all played out. Mommy is tired. Today we’re venturing out to the movies and McDonald’s for some much needed time out. I’ve been dug out (for a price) and they finally plowed the secondary roads and my parking lot. I feel like a runaway slave! LOL!

Munch is enjoying the snow so much. Here are some photos.

image

image

image

image

image
My car behind 5 feet of snow.

Dang Blizzard of 2016

Hey Everyone!

I am alive and well in the DMV (District of Columbia, Maryland and Virginia) after the dang blizzard of 2016. We received 28 inches of snow and my parking lot is a wreck. Schools have been closed since Thursday of last week. Many secondary streets still haven’t been plowed and I feel like a prisoner. Ugh!

So, after Mr. C instructed me to write a post about what I’m going through, I decided to do so. Here is an excerpt from my journal after only a few hours trapped in the house:

Dear Diary,

I’m afraid of death. Truth be told I don’t want to die. But, I’m literally having a panic attack with this damn blizzard hitting the east coast. My chest hurts, my head hurts, I have shortness of breath. What the heck is happening to me? The room is getting smaller and the news keeps reporting how you need to stay off the roads because they will become treacherous. Damn, Channel 4 reported that this may be the last storm many of us will see. What if I’m one of them?

I have my munch in the house with me and I think about how I hate being a single parent during this time. What if the power goes out and we freeze to death? What if I’m stuck in the house for days on end? How will I dig us out?

Those and many more thoughts are running through my head. I can’t breathe. My chest hurts and I feel like I’m going to die. Dear God, help me!

As if that isn’t enough I keep getting text messages from random men (men who couldn’t sustain) asking me to be snowed in with them.  Are you serious? We’re about to die in a blizzard and you want me to be snowed in with you? I don’t want to spend what could be my last moments in life with someone who couldn’t sustain. Besides, I have munch and if they couldn’t sustain with dating me they sure as hell aren’t ready to meet my munch. Ugh!

Happy 8 Year Anniversary

It’s been 8 years since I’ve been on this blogging journey. I actually went a while without blogging because motherhood got in the way. I vowed in 2014 to write more. Share more. Do more.

8th-birthday-cake

Since that time, my blog has grown in followers, readers and posts. I actually started posting more in 2015 than ever before and converted from Blogger to WordPress. I bought my own domain and customized my logo. I hope to be able to write more in the coming years and just continue to be transparent with you. I never thought that this blogging thing would catch on, but it has and I’m grateful.

Check out my first post ever here:

https://athomaspointofview.com/2008/01/22/mlk-weekend/

After you read it, you will see that a lot has changed in 8 years, but I’m thankful for the experiences. I’m definitely stronger. Life is different, but interesting all the same. I don’t regret my failures, just praying that I learned the lesson in everything.

Happy 8 Year Anniversary to My Blog!

Random: At This Moment

Last week a friend of mine said, “I hadn’t heard from you in a long time.” I responded “I know. I’ve been going through some things and haven’t really shared.” She asked, “What’s going on?” I replied, “Every month since October there has been some major hardship/issue that has affected me. I feel like I can’t breathe” I muttered. “It’s at times overwhelming and I’m consistently asking God to please give me the strength to endure” I said.

Silence.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked. “No, not right now” I responded.

I didn’t. I didn’t want to talk about my problems/issues. Why? Because I was tired of crying.

Alone in my bed when the world is asleep, I toss and turn and cry.

Crying is cathartic for me. It exhausts me. It solves nothing, so I’m not sure why I do it. But, I do.

I cry for things that have happened, things that haven’t happened and things that I want to happen. I cry and pray. Pray and cry. Non-stop.

Until I go numb. Then I drift off to sleep. Sleep is fretful and disturbing. Weird dreams with no understanding of what they mean. Nightmares. Never peaceful bliss. I’m exhausted by the time I awake.

A hot shower, a cup of coffee and make-up to hide the bags under my eyes. I pinch my cheeks and smile and practice my “I’m in control of my life” look. Why? Because the world expects me to be okay. They expect me to be good. To be in control. I’m not expected to fall apart. I haven’t fallen apart since my marriage disintegrated.

Ugh! Those memories still haunt me to this day. Falling out from emotional and spiritual fatigue and unable to stand. I lay on the floor crying in a heap. My then 5 year old son held my head and rubbed my hair saying, “Mommy, please don’t cry. Mommy, I will protect you.”

I cried harder.

This too shall pass.

I’ve survived worse is what I keep reminding myself. Don’t give in to the darkness. Breathe. Take it one day at a time. Pray. Pray without ceasing. Give it to God.

I have. I do. I’m so weak.

A friend said, “You have it all together.” I smiled and replied “Nope, I am one crisis away from a nervous breakdown.” Awkward silence.

Dang, I didn’t want that. It’s too early for him to think that I’m crazy. It’s too early to show vulnerability. What will he think?

I can’t breathe.

I have to think about something else. I have to focus on today’s task. I have to remind myself that my greater is coming. Strength. That’s what I need.

God please give me the strength to endure and while you’re in the problem solving business give me some grace and mercy. I could truly use it right now. Thank you Lord.

A Bit Of Everything