2016 angry children family our children parenting relationships Uncategorized

The Power of Our Words

People will tell me “you’re a great mom.” I’ve heard that from a lot of people over the years. I smile. I say thank you. But, it wasn’t until a friend of mine said, “It doesn’t matter if the world thinks I’m a great dad, only that my kids do” that it really sunk in. Accolades are great. They are appreciated, but I want munch to say “My mom was a great mom” someday when he grows up and leaves home.

Do I think parenting is easy? Heck no. Am I jaded in believing that my son won’t have some “questionable years” that make me want to scream to the hills? Nope. But, I practice conscious parenting. I think before I speak to my son. I think before I react to my son. I think.

I think about the child that I carried in my womb and the great joy I felt when God blessed me with this awesome kid. I think about how I try to honor God in raising him. I think about the lessons that I want to teach this kid as he progresses through childhood. One of the main lessons that I’ve spoken on before is “attitude of gratitude”.

Gratitude is a taught behavior. Children don’t know when they are being selfish. We have to teach our children how to behave. We have to lead by example and we have to think about the words in which we use to communicate both our love and displeasure with our children.

Words have the power to make or destroy a child.  We can’t take back the words we say once they’ve left our mouth. I try to be cognizant of the power of my words. Am I better than you because I take the time to think about what I say? Nope. But, I ask you do you think about the pain your words are inflicting on your children?

Let me break it down further…I teach my son that God is in him. That he has a light that is shining for Jesus. He should honor him at all times. Does he misbehave? Yep. He’s 7 years old. But, in my teaching that it is to remind him that everything we do, think or speak should be to honor God.

When he gets bratty (as most children do) I will say, “Munch, are you being very gratuitous? We need to have an attitude of gratitude.” It works for him. He lives to honor God at this stage and he knows who the head of our lives is. My words allow munch to self-check his own behavior.

However, what happens when he’s out of line and someone says that he’s selfish and ungrateful? How does that translate into the mind of a 7 year old? Not well. He doesn’t understand. He cries. He wants to understand why someone would say that to him. I have to reassure him that he’s not. Your spirit is aligned with God and he’s not selfish because He gives us life.

I repeat “Have an attitude of gratitude” and kiss away his tears. I have no words when my child is hurting. I hurt when he’s in pain. It’s natural. I just know the power of words. Words can destroy your innocence. So, if you are a parent that speaks out of turn who cuts people with your words I offer this prayer over your spirit “Let the words of my mouth be acceptable to thy sight, o Lord”.

Your words should always be acceptable. Especially in front of your children. They’re too young to understand the words “No weapon formed against you shall prosper”. Words are a weapon. Stop cutting your children.

10 comments

  1. Hear, hear to your conclusion!

    I reach a somewhat different conclusion than you about comments re: great parenting. I don’t derive my satisfaction or sense of rightness as a parent from what words others do or don’t say. Time and my sons will tell whether or not I was a great parent.

    BUT that’s not to say there’s no good in the words. Those words are an acknowledgment that someone else sees you doing, and loving, and trying, and wants you to know. Those words don’t alter my own self assessment, but they sure do make the world feel less lonely and judgy. That’s a lovely thing, and that’s where the good in those words lies.

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    1. Yep, agreed. The only person that can determine I was a good mother is my son when it’s all said and done. I will do my best. I will watch my words and love without thought. That is all I can do.

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  2. So true. Funny when I started blogging I learned a lot about more about the power of words. My first couple of blogs are actually about that http://gingerfunksblog.com/2015/12/06/ups-and-downs-and-other-lessons/ and http://gingerfunksblog.com/2015/12/13/using-my-words-3/. I really like your advise about it with parenting. The way we speak to everyone can come from a place of love. Imagine if we all paid more attention to the way we speak to everyone?

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