Today’s love theme is about waiting. I posted last month in a two part series about waiting until marriage to have sex again and the importance of honoring my temple and honoring God. Since it’s February and ya’ll are all in love, looking for love, hope to be in love and everything in between, I want to talk about the love called…waiting.
Last September after over a year of dating, I got tired of all the foolishness that I was encountering with the men that I met. I started thinking about what I was putting out in the world to attract the kind of manipulative and immature men that I was meeting. What is wrong with me? I decided that self-reflection was something that I needed to do, but more importantly I needed to pray. I needed guidance.
So, I went to the man above. I went to God and in earnest asked him to help me. I wanted to find love and be in love with a man that honored him first. I told him I was tired of doing it on my own and that I wanted to live in His will. I told him that I know I needed to change and I needed him to send me the man that he wanted me to be with. (It’s A LOT RIGHT?)
Nope, not for my God. So, what did He do? He tempered the lust in my spirit. He allowed me to see clearly the things that I was doing. Now, before you get all up in your feelings know that what God did for me was put me in a place to receive his word, follow his will and be open to the man that he wanted me to have. He was positioning me in a place of power.
I was still doing the on-line dating thing with little interest (I wasn’t interested) in the candidates that I was meeting. I could almost smell the BS in their profile. In my random polite responses of “How are you?” “Thank you for the compliments” and “I had a great weekend” Mr. C. slipped in. Who would’ve thunk it?
Since I delete all the emails in my box I accidentally deleted what he said to me. I asked him, “What did you write in your profile?” He responded “Nothing”. I asked again because apparently he didn’t hear me. “No, for real. What did you write in your profile? I accidentally deleted it.” He responded, “Nothing.” I told him that I’m so shocked that I even responded to him because two rules that I have…don’t respond to a man that doesn’t have a profile picture and don’t respond to a man that doesn’t write anything about himself or what he’s looking for.
Hmm? I was floored. Still can’t figure out what made me respond to his empty profile, but the point of this is that when we started to talk about what we were looking for, likes/dislikes, family, etc. I made it perfectly clear that I was taking my cookies off the table and keeping them firmly locked away in the cupboard until marriage. I told him that I’m not rushing marriage or anything, but that sex was out of the question and how did he feel about that.
He paused. He said, “Okay, so you want to live as God instructs us to and not commit the sin of fornication?” Hot diggity-dog. He knew God was in my heart before I had to tell him. I said, “Yes.” He said, “Okay” and asked “Can we revisit the subject every 6 months?” I said, “Okay, that’s fair, but God isn’t going to give the okay to commit a sin.” We laughed.
Just like that we knew that we were waiting. Waiting for sex and in the interim learning each other. Growing closer to God and to each other without being confused by sex. Sex confuses people to believe that they are in love. Sex isn’t love. Love is love. But, too many times we sell ourselves short for an interim need and feel depressed and disgusted when things don’t work out.
And trust me…many times they don’t! Can all my single friends raise their hands to this one? But, waiting gives you clarity and allows you to see a person without the emotional bond of sex clouding your judgement. That’s why we were happy to see that others waited and are waiting in our age group.
A new book is being released today called The Wait by DeVon Franklin and his wife Megan Good Franklin. Mr. C. and I will be reading this book and I will write my review on it, have him interview me about the book and I will interview him about his thoughts on the book. Stay tuned and pick up the book The Wait.
A Thomas Point of View 
Wow! DeVon is FINE! I bet she didn’t wait. lol
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They dated a little less than a year I believe. He had already waited 10 years.
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This is a beautiful post. I believe in waiting. I was a virgin the first time I got married.
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Thank you. I think more people should do it.
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Ok I will have to agree that Devon is FINE! 🙂 I really liked this post. I love to see how when we decide not to settle and to put our faith in God, he brings his divine timing. It’s not easy, I’m still waiting over here. Just to meet someone. lol
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Girl, we will both be blessed in 2016. I’m declaring it!
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That’s pretty cool Tikeetha! Although I’m not religious, I do believe in attracting what you desire and paying attention to the energy you give off. Good luck with Mr C! I look forward to reading about it.
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Aww! Thank you so much. I had to take ownership over my choices and the energy that I was sending in the universe. It sucked (the self-reflection) but it was an enlightening experience. He’s a great guy and we’re becoming great friends. I will totally keep you posted.
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This was a great post. I didn’t even know that they were coming out with a book together. I think they make a beautiful couple. It’s always great when you find someone that shares the same values and beliefs as you. First time visiting your site and I will definitely be coming back to read more.
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Aww, thank you so much for stopping by. Yes, it has been wonderful being with someone who puts God first and makes time for me.
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My husband and I were together for 7 years before we got married and we both waited:) Everyone has their own personal reasons to do so but I agree completely about what you wrote: “waiting gives you clarity and allows you to see a person without the emotional bond of sex clouding your judgement”. You are a strong, wise, and amazing woman and may you find the same in a man;)
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Thank you. I am just thankful that I serve a wonderful God that knows my heart is to live in his will. When I changed my mindset and aligned my spirit I realized that I didn’t want to sin and I wanted to wait. I was strong in my conviction that if a man couldn’t agree with it so be it because that man wasn’t for me. Thank you for sharing your story that it can be done. My friend and I are perfectly happy focusing on growing closer to each other and God by waiting.
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Many blessings to you!
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Reblogged this on A Perfectly Flawed Ruby and commented:
This young lady is an awesome writer and a truth teller. STOP and GO FOLLOW HER!!!!!
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Although I have never “waited” so to speak. I respect those who do. Whatever works for you. Good Luck with the new friend 😉
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I’m glad that you have made the right decision for yourself. We live in a world of instant gratification and not a lot of patience for most things. #momsterlink
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Thanks for sharing with #abitofeverything
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LOL. Yep, I was the same way. Then being hurt when things didn’t pan out for me.
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I do agree that there must be a connection other than sex but I don’t believe in no sex before marriage. I met my current husband and at first we had an online relationship where he made me laugh and we’d chat for hours. When we met in real life it was like I already knew him forever. It wasn’t long before we were crazy and inseparable of one another. It’s over 7 years later and I still love him like that even on the bad days. Thanks for linking up with me for #momstersliink.
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As a faithless queer woman, who has no choice but to commit ‘sin’ by a Christian standard, I applaud you for sticking to your principles. Personally, I would not want to commit to someone in marriage without a test drive first, myself, but if you feel strongly about sex before marriage, then you should to your guns and if a man can’t respect that, then he isn’t the ‘one’ for you.
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LOL. Thank you so much for commenting. Yep, I’ve actually done the whole sex before marriage and it didn’t work out so well for me and hopefully trying something different will work. I’m just trying to be better.
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This is a very rich post ma’am… and it’s true that sex confuses people. I think that there can be no greater bliss than learning to love someone for everything except the body, finding other areas of connections and other ways to bond. It can be hard to wait, but it is doable. God bless you so, and may He inspire us with the Grace of clarity, obedience and self- control.
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Thanks sis!
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