Hardly

“Don’t you get it? I’m not afraid of letting go. I’m afraid of accepting the fact that….he already has.” – Shahz, For the Love of Sass

Yes, I read this post yesterday from one of my fellow bloggers and was like “Yass girl! Preach!” Isn’t that the case with most of us? When we’ve loved someone and moved on and realized that they have too and that part hurts the heck out of us? Been there and done that.

It’s part of being selfish. See, I loved this man so much that I believed my spirit was bonded to his. That my heart beat for him. We were truly soul mates (you get the picture right?) in ever sense of the word. He was the peanut butter to my strawberry jam.

Love.

Lovers.

Friends.

Complicated.

We went through all those stages and it hurt like hell. Why? Because somewhere deep inside I realized that even though I loved him, left him and moved on I wasn’t ready to accept the fact that he has. I couldn’t even tell my closest friends this fundamental truth because I didn’t want them to think I was crazy as hell.

How could I love someone, know that we weren’t compatible, leave him and then get mad or be hurt at the fact that he moved on? Because I’m a woman. I’m human. I’m selfish. I know, but sometimes we’re selfish in love.

We’re better off with the way things are now. I’m happy. He seems happy and I hardly think about him.