I attended this on-line webinar on Sunday by a great relationship/love coach. Why? Because I always want advice on how to find love. So, what did I learn? Nothing new. It was a lot of common sense advice and I think a lot of times us women are searching from advice that we have all heard before.
You know the advice that you don’t pay attention to because a woman told you and it’s not valid until a man validates it? We have to stop doing that. We have to stop looking to men to validate what we already know. I call it the “common sense rules”.
So, what is common sense? Things you already know.
You already know that in order to find love…
- You have to have healed from all the pain of former relationships. This includes abandonment issues from a partner or a parent. You have to release that baggage and donate the bags of pain, abuse, frustration, anger to the trash. You can’t hold on to past hurts and hope to find a fulfilling relationship.
- You have to be open. After you’ve healed from the painful traumas of your past relationships you have to be open for wanting to find love. You have to be open to allow love to come into your life and find it’s way into your spirit. You have to change your mind and framework giving off the vibe that you are happy and ready for love. You have to be willing to take a chance again.
- Don’t waste your time. Wasting time with men or situations that aren’t yielding tangible results. You have to value your time more preciously than you do if you want a relationship. You have to know that spending time with men who give you red signs/flags that they are not the one for you is a complete waste of energy. No amount of free meals or drinks is worth missing out on the one you’re supposed to have because you’re spending time with someone who will never be a possibility.
- You have to smile more. There’s nothing more captivating than a beautiful smile. What man will seriously come wanting to know you more seriously if you never smile? He will think you’re not interested in meeting anyone if you have a facial expression that reads “don’t bother me”. Letting men see the verbal cues of your interest by smiling more will invite more of the right kind of men into your life.
- Say what you mean. Stop saying you don’t want love if you do. Stop saying all men are the same and then get mad because you’re choosing from the wrong side of the menu. Be clear and confident in your decisions/choices for what you want/need out of a potential partner and verbalize it. Not in a threatening way, but in an honest conversation about your wants/needs. Don’t settle if it’s not worth what you want. Don’t have impossible standards, but don’t lower them just to get a man. Do what’s best for you by vocalizing your wants/needs.
- Let him chase you. Don’t make him jump over hoops/hurdles to break his back to prove his loyalty to you and you’re not doing the same. Relationships are give and take and although a man should chase you, you have to give him the insight that you like the chase and are interested too. Don’t make it impossible for him to jump over that wall, run through fire and swim through that moat filled with quick sand around your heart and you don’t let him know how interested you are. Verbal and non-verbal clues are essential.
So, you knew that right? Do you really want a relationship? Are you open to allowing love to come into your life? Are you? If you are I just want to say one final thing…he may not come in the package you imagined, but remember that if he’s God’s gift to you, are you being gracious for it?
Food for thought loves!