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Picture This

Tikeetha TMby
54 Comments on Picture This

Mr. C and I attended my sorority’s winter event a couple of weeks ago. We had so much fun. He had to work that night so him coming by for a couple of hours was amazing. My sorority sister took a picture of us at the event and posted it on social media. Specifically, Facebook. I have a timeline review on my social media page because I got tired of people posting junk on my page and tagging me in it, so I review everything.

I saw the picture of Mr. C and I among the photos she uploaded. I immediately asked her to please delete it. I explained that I don’t post photos of Mr. C and I on my timeline because not everyone is praying for our happiness. I am a firm believer in sharing what I choose to share and with whom. She quickly took the photo down and apologized.

I talked to Mr. C about it and asked him was he okay with my decision and he said yes. I told him that when we are ready to share photos of each other on social media that I would like it to be our decision and it probably won’t be until we’re married. He laughed. I guess at the end of the day what I’m saying is that I’m trying to protect the best thing that has ever happened to me.

My life is in such a great place that I want to protect this relationship and our love. Now, that doesn’t mean that people can’t meet him. He’ll be at family events. He’ll be at friend events. He’ll be at my galas and my sorority parties, but we are very happy in our private bubble and will share photos in our own time.

 

What are your thoughts? Do you share your photos of your significant other on your social media page? Would you be offended if I asked you to remove a photo of me and Mr. C?

54 comments

  2. I do share pictures of myself and Paul on Social Media. I have since about 2 months into our relationship. However, I completely understand why you don’t. It wouldn’t offend me if you asked me to remove a picture. I have asked people to take down other pictures of me, that I just thought were tasteless or somehow unprofessional, so I didn’t want them shared because of who I am friends with on Social Media. I am not friends with anyone on social media who doesn’t want my happiness, so I post about me in whatever way I want. I am SO lucky that my Facebook friends are a total support system and I am not friends with negative, joy sucking people. LOL, but I know that there are MANY on Facebook who find it easy to sit behind their computer and sling garbage. You do you!!

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    1. I like that. That’s something you and Paul are cool with and I truly respect that. Will I ever get to that point? Eventually, but I really don’t want a social media presence about my love life. It could totally change. I’m just not there yet. LOL.

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      1. You have to do whatever works for you. Social media for me, is in fact that, social. There are some people that I don’t get to see very often, so I think that they like to see pictures of me and the things in my life!

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    1. Thanks sis and jut like KE said some people who know you are in a relationship aren’t praying for your happiness, but unless I make my FB page only close friends and family then I would cut more than 90% of the list. But, that probably wouldn’t make me post either.

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  4. Facebook and other social media is nice to keep up with lomg distance family and friends…but it’s often an incomplete depiction of people’s lives anyway, and is a great way for folks to meddle in your business. So…they can kick rocks. Not posting pictures keeps them in the dark, true. So, negative Nancys there. However, it’s YOUR facebook. And just like how you can choose to post pictures when and with who you want, you should also not feel threatened or intimidated to post. They’ll feel some type of way regardless and shoot…my block finger is my trigger finger on facebook. How easy is it to delete them in facebook and move on? Who needs their two cents anyway? Live your best life. Post or don’t post to your heart’s content and say Cheers to your haters! Lol.

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    1. LMAO. Your block finger is your trigger finger? You’re hilarious. But, you’re so right. It is an inaccurate depiction of one’s relationship. That’s the messed up part.

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      1. Like yourself, there is very little I will post about my marriage on facebook. 1. It aint nobodies business 2. If you posting pics and statuses about it all day, you’re not enjoying your marriage, you’re documenting it. And i think for the sake of that, you’ll fake it, ’til you make it on some things to make it appear one way versus another. That’s so cray cray to me.

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      2. Girl, I know people who have been cheated on, got STD’s and some more stuff but are on FB posting about how in love they are and how they’ve made it 15 plus years and they didn’t give up like some other people. I’m like what?

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  5. I post everything, pretty much on social media and don’t really worry about it. I also believe that even when you’re married, everyone won’t be praying for your happiness and whether they see photos are not, they might not be praying for your happiness. I think you can do whatever YOU want with your social media accounts lol If you asked me to take it down, then I’d do just that. But usually, when I take the picture, I ask people, “Do you mind if I post this?” Or I say something like, “You know this is going on FB, right?” lol so with that said, I think it’s a mutual respect all the way around.

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    1. True. I have friends that post everything and I respect that, but that’s not me. I totally get asking first especially when you know that I don’t do it. She apologized profusely and I understood where she was coming from so I get it. Come to think of it, I don’t remember her posting pictures of her and her husband when she was married. LOL.

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  7. I think this is a great idea! I like having control over my privacy, especially the older (and hopefully wiser) I get. I even had a friend who had a “no social media” wedding. People were free to take pictures but they were specifically asked not to post any from the event on social media. Which I think, if I ever get married, I will do the same. I don’t even have my relationship status on my Facebook page.

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      1. I also like the ones where cameras aren’t allowed during the actual ceremony (but during the reception/party it’s ok). It lets friends and family focus on the ceremony instead of trying to get pictures. Especially if there is a professional there. Another thing I would consider for my own wedding.

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    2. I don’t want any cellphones at my ceremony. I’ll mail the guests pics instead, or send a link that they can download a few from the ceremony. All those flashes going off, and people blocking the photographer is just tacky. Pics at the reception or after party will be okay.

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      3. I totally agree! If I ever get married it will be a small ceremony so people will really be in the way. My friend does wedding photography and she puts all the pictures on a CD so you can print as many as you want or just copy the CD

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  8. Such interesting timing. Yesterday I heard a story on NPR about how one of the most used comments on facebook is asking others to take down photos. And they studied all of those comments and found that the best way to get the photo taken down is to be direct. To say, Please take that photo down.

    They found the worst way to get a photo taken down was to start my apologizing. By saying, “I’m sorry to ask, but will you please remove that photo.”

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      1. Its not a feature on facebook. Rather, facebook can collects the comments made by people and looks to see which ones are popular and then they examine them to see what works and what doesn’t. In other words, you just leave a comment telling someone to take down the photo. But facebook can see all the comments everyone makes and they study them. We are their guinea pigs in a grand social experiment. 🙂

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  10. Well I don’t have a social media page, aside from my blog, so I don’t “share” anything but I have told “HE” that he may not post any picture of me without my permission, after review but that is more of an ego thing than anything. He is allowed to mention me by name because many of his friends are also my friends. I don’t mention him by name here just his pseudonym “HE Who Will Not Obey” but this blog is not followed by many of our mutual friends and very few actual friends…more like you virtual friends.

    Your case in extremely different and circumspection at this point is so VERY Understandable; I would not at all be offended if you were to ask me to delete photos. After all it is your prerogative as it is your life. Happy Winter Solstice and welcome back to the “light” ~~dru~~

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    1. Thanks sis! I don’t even mention him on my FB page. I will tweet sweet things and say “he” but everyone that is close to me know that I’m referring to him. He and I are FB friends and we’re never liking each other’s posts or stalking the other’s page. I like the ego thing. Maybe that is part of my issue too?

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  12. I have shared photos in the past but I probably wouldn’t now. The people that know me would get an email or text if I feel the need to share. I just feel that so many things are not deemed precious or sacred anymore due to social media. People sharing the birth of their child, marriage proposals and other intimate moments is a bit much to me. I know some people feel the need to share. Others have something to prove. But some posts look more like exploitation than simply sharing, you know. I see nothing wrong with keeping what’s dear to you private.

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  13. I have double guessed myself on all the photos I share. I love sharing but it is like you said… not everyone is cheering for you

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  14. I haven’t done it since I’ve been on social media. At all. It’s a door I haven’t felt inspired to open. I’ve actually gotten annoyed with seeing too many pics of friends’ SO, especially pics of them in bed, shirtless, etc. I know THEY find it attractive, but I dont!

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    1. Damn! I don’t have those kind of friends. Well, one but she’s a professional photographer who shoots for vogue and cosmo and travels all over the world so I get that. But, regular old folks…nope that’s too much. Keep it for each other.

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  15. Oh, I don’t give any thought to sharing in regard to who’s not wishing me well. I don’t care because it has no bearing on me or my relationship. It’s more so that it’s outside my comfort zone, don’t want people asking questions/being nosey, etc. I think I’ll share when I’m engaged. Like a professional engagement photo or something.

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    1. Mine will be a picture of the engagement ring with a post that says “And so it begins”. Nothing more. You’re right. It probably is a combo of people not praying and it’s none of your business who I’m spending my time with. Heck, we’ve been dating over a year and he hasn’t met my siblings who live about 45 minutes away. LOL.

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  16. I would never share someone’s photo without permission. I never share photos of my husband who is very private. I rarely even share a photo of myself for the simple fact that I don’t own very many. I’m very camera shy. I think your request to have the photo removed was reasonable.

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  17. I praise you for wanting to keep your relationship off of social media. I too control my pics/tagging on Facebook and other sites because I have a lot of associates, colleagues, family and friends that I don’t necessarily want to see everything or every photo of my life for the same reasons you have stated. I have learned that even when we think we are safe to allow people to see our joy, not everyone is there to celebrate our blessings.

    Sadly, some people tend to use social media as a way to pry into people’s lives when they don’t realize what may be posted is just one fraction of what is going on at that particular time. Everyone should be able to enjoy their life/relationship off of social media as much as they do on social media but unfortunately it has allowed those who we think we can trust/respect try to tear us down or speak/wish ill on our happiness.

    Kudos to you for being transparent and open with your friend and allowing us to share our perspective on your decision.

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    1. Aww, thank you so much. I love my man, but I love the bubble we create whereby we will share when we are ready. We take a lot of photos and I just don’t want everyone in my business. I joined FB 10 years ago so I have a lot of classmates from high school and college that we’re “friends” but they don’t need to know everything about my life. If I truly had only FB friends and family the almost 1,000 people on my list would be 30. So, I just accept that you will see what I want you to see. People are actually understanding of it. I’m a proud mama so I show off my son, but I don’t want anyone to get a false sense of my life from photos. Thank you for commenting.

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