February Was Good

Today is the last day of the month. It is the shortest month. It was a good month in many ways. I met my goal of posting or sharing at least 30 times this month. I went home to Tennessee to see my dad. I had an awesome Valentine’s Day with my son and Mr. C and I had a wonderful belated Valentine’s Day. My son made honor roll again.

You know what else? I had more views to my little ole’ blog than ever before. I am truly humbled and thankful that people are viewing, commenting and following me. It really means a lot to me. I also learned some hard lessons that I will share with you in the coming weeks. Please bear with me.

However, despite disappointments, adversities and setbacks I’ve realized that February was good. It was a good month and I’m looking forward to March being just as good. I have a couple of projects that I need to finish including a couple of book reviews that I will be getting out in the next couple of weeks. I thank you for your encouragement, your patience and your wonderful posts that let me know that I am not alone.

You all are wonderful. February was good, but let’s make March better. Let’s get ready to step into Spring and clean up our houses: mentally, physically, financially and emotionally.

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links:  Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

What Scares You Most?

I wrote the piece Babbling Brook last week about my struggles with trying to get more information from Mr. C. He shares with me, but many times I talk and he listens. So, I was trying to find ways to get him to share more. As our time is being reduced due to his new work restrictions we definitely need to keep ahead in the communication game to make sure that our relationship is a priority.

A couple of days ago, one of my fellow bloggers A. Michelle! suggested that I ask Mr. C – What scares you most? How does he handle himself when he is scared?

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I loved it. What a great suggestion! I wanted to find a way to ask more interesting questions and get him to share deeper things with me. I wanted us to deepen our emotional intimacy. I bought us a book to go through and I wanted to start by asking A. Michelle’s question. So, I asked him “What scares you the most as a man?” “How do you handle yourself when you are scared?”

He told me that “Being in a relationship scares him the most. The possibility of being hurt. Pain hurts.” I just listened. I repeated the second question “How do you handle yourself when you are scared?” He said that he “Doesn’t let it consume his thoughts.” I asked him how does he stop it from consuming his thoughts? He said that if it did consume his thoughts then he would just break up with me. Say what now?

I asked him whether or not he would have proof or would he allow his insecurities to break us up. He responded that it is a lot of stuff in between that happens before a break-up. Interesting.

I didn’t judge him for his answer, but let him speak. I liked the fact that he shared something so emotional and deep with me. However, I have expressed my concern about the residual (remaining) damages from his prior relationships. Why? Because we all have stuff that is left when we experience painful relationships. We can’t let that affect us. I know. It’s easier said than done, but I’ve been there.

I allowed my relationship or lack thereof with my dad to jeopardize healthy relationships because I never trusted men. Men represented pain, lies and BS. I accepted the words of women before I ever accepted them from men. That wasn’t healthy. I was projecting my pain on prospective partners and they never even knew it.

I don’t want Mr. C to do that. Not to me. So, I’m trying to develop ways for us to discuss our feelings and to strengthen our emotional intimacy and really get to the core of our fears about love and relationships. I’ve never done it before, but I want to work on it now. I know that we both believe in couples counseling so I definitely want us to commit to going in the next few months.

It’s more of pre-engagement counseling. Before the engagement, let’s work on our relationship. Let’s make sure that we are on the same page and the same path. It can only make us stronger.

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links:  Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Supermom Chronicles – 2/2017

Hey Loves,

I’m sending a quick email to let you all know that I’m hoping to catch-up on all my 1,100 remaining posts this weekend. Please bear with me. I’m exhausted because I just returned from Tennessee on Tuesday after visiting my father.

The trip was short and apparently well needed for me. I slept on average 11 hours a night and I needed naps. Never before had I felt the need to sleep. I couldn’t understand why I was so exhausted. I actually get a minimum of 7 hours of a sleep a night so this was definitely my body saying “Rest sweetie. It’s time.”

I listened and obeyed.

I slept.

I went home to check on my dad who had a pacemaker put in about 3 weeks ago. He’s fine. Walking and talking as usual. We were able to spend some time together.

I came back on Tuesday afternoon and picked up Munch after leaving the airport. He was so excited to see me. I grabbed take out and went home to review and work on homework. I had to go to the store and I had an interview with a doctoral student regarding middle class mothers. Yep, I did that. It was a two hour interview and I felt proud to be contributing to her research.

Nope, I haven’t unpacked my suitcase yet. I have to wash Munch’s clothes this weekend and change his bedding while he is with his dad. I’m still reading books that I’m behind on, editing, writing reviews and working on a couple of pieces for submission. I’m drowning in work it seems.

Another obstacle presented itself before I flew home last weekend and I just jumped over it and will see how it plays out. I will update you shortly on that. Munch’s book report is due Tuesday and we finished it last night along with his visual presentation. All he needs to work on this weekend is the oral presentation with his dad.

I had all this done and him fed, showered and in bed before 9 pm. I even signed up to volunteer at his school for the next 3 months. I’m knee deep in paperwork, renewals and RFP’s and the day to day but I can’t forget to be there for Munch. Yep, I was supermom this week.

I wanted to pat myself on the back, but I didn’t get a chance to yet. LOL. I need a drink. Not a big one. Just a nice glass of wine and a good hug. Being able to spend some alone time with Mr. C should allow me the opportunity to have both.

Thank you for your continued support and bear with me as I catch-up on your posts and respond to the comments you’ve left on my blog. You are truly appreciated and valued. I’m just trying to prioritize.

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Baby

I smiled as I watched him sleep. He was deep in dream land. Not worrying about the problems of the day. He smiled in his sleep. It was the most beautiful thing.

He was no longer my baby. He was a grown man. Thankful that he had come home for a visit before shipping off with the Navy. I closed his bedroom door.

I was feeling melancholy. Life had gone by so fast and my beautiful brown baby was now a man. Where had time gone? I wished for days of vomit and dirty diapers. Of sleepless nights and doctor’s appointments.

I sat there looking through his baby pictures and smiling. His first night home was one of pure amazement. I stayed up all night fighting sleep just to watch my baby sleep. I needed to make sure he was okay. I refused to rest.

His attempts at nursing were hilarious and painful. He refused to latch on and the pout that he made as he shut his mouth tightly always made me smile. His baby scent was the most beautiful scent I ever smelled.

I flipped the pages of the photo album looking at the first birthday photos, first day of school photos, dances and annual family photo shoots. He was a handsome child. I smiled and closed the book. I felt peace because even though my son was a grown man now sleeping soundly in the next room…he would always be my baby.

 

This post is part of the Daily Post. Today’s word was baby.

Rhythmic

She listened to the rhythmic beating of the steel drums. It was both deep and powerful. She could feel herself moving to the rhythm. She got up to dance.

Back and forth she sashayed her hips in slow motion. The sweat dripping down between her breasts. The music made her feel better. She forgot how good it felt to dance.

To dance away her troubles. She had so much trouble. She needed a reprieve. On this island where no one knew her. She could be free.

Free to breathe. Free to dance.

Each beat of the drum seemed to propel her into a space of pure euphoria. She was dancing away her problems.

The beat was both exotic and tempting.

Michael watched her in slow motion.

He wanted her.

He felt the longing not just in his loins but in his heart.

He could see she was beautiful and fragile. Life had been hard on her. She moved like a skilled dancer. Her hips were hypnotizing him. He needed her.

Approaching slowly from behind Michael pressed his body to her. She moved into him. He smelled her sweet scent. Lilac. He loved that smell.

He rocked with her and swayed to the beat. Nothing but heat between them and sweat rolling down their bodies. They were as one.

He whispered “I know what you’re running from.”

 

 

This post is inspired by the Daily Post. The word was rhythmic