2017 blessings children divorce marriage parenting relationships valentine's day

Boycott Valentine’s Day

Tikeetha TMby
32 Comments on Boycott Valentine’s Day

I love the idea of love. I love actual love. I love a lot of things. Heck, I’m in love. However, I don’t like going out on Valentine’s Day for dinner. It is my biggest pet peeve.

Let me tell you why….

Nine years ago when I was pregnant I had been on bed rest for the last month. My ex husband had made dinner arrangements for The Chart House (one of my favorite restaurants) that evening. I had been ordered to not have sex (umm, I’m pregnant and wanted to have sex with my husband) because they were afraid that I would go into pre-term labor. My life sucked.

I had two doctor’s appointments on Valentine’s Day. The first was my obstetrician who checked me out and said we could have sex. I was excited. I then went to see the maternal and fetal medicine doctor a few hours later who then told me no. I started to cry. He said, “I know it’s not what you want to hear, but I’m really concerned about your cervix shortening.” I was crushed.

Aren’t you supposed to have sex on Valentine’s Day with your husband? I was hormonal. I was looking forward to some big belly loving. But, it wasn’t meant to be. So, we went to dinner that night and the restaurant had so many tables squeezed in there that I couldn’t maneuver through the tables with my belly. I started to cry as I tried to slide my way to our table.

Men saw what was wrong and started to move their tables aside as tears rolled down my eyes. I felt like the biggest pregnant loser ever. No sex and I was too fat to get to our table.

My husband at the time was very comforting and encouraging. He told me that I was creating life and that was more important than anything, but I didn’t believe him. My self-esteem was shot. It was at that moment that I realized that I didn’t like Valentine’s Day and I would never go to dinner again. I felt that restaurants overbooked and added so many more tables to get the money in and I wasn’t going to take part in that foolishness. I was deeply wounded.

And you know what? I’ve never gone out on Valentine’s Day for dinner ever again. Every year that we were married after that my husband would ask did I want to go to dinner and every year I said “No, you remember that I’m boycotting right?” He would laugh and cook us dinner at home and that was fine with me.

This Valentine’s Day, I’m in a relationship with a wonderful man who I’ve expressed that I’m boycotting dinner at a great restaurant and he’s cool with that. He laughed. I’m not even seeing him on that day because it’s a weeknight and I have Munch. So, I will surprise Munch with a dozen heart balloons when he wakes up on Valentine’s Day. I will have a card for him and we will go to Toys R’Us for a toy after school and I will buy him dinner at Chipotle.

He will love it all the same and it will be a perfect mommy/son date. I couldn’t ask for anything more considering that I boycott dinner at a fancy restaurant on this day. He’ll kiss me and tell me that I’m the best mommy in the world and I will kiss him and tell him that he is the best son in the world.

And you know what? He is. Our love is perfect.

32 comments

  2. i love it. i’m with you.
    my husband is a big romancer and he pretends to hate sappy holidays, but never fails to show up with roses and a grandeous gesture to take me somewhere nice. all i want is for him to just acknowledge that it’s some sappy day, a “happy valentines day, babe!” will do me just fine. we went on our first date the day after valentines day and everything was still decked in roses and hearts, so it holds a special place for me- but for other reasons. you know?

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    1. Thanks sis. I never thought that until I experienced it pregnant and ever since then I don’t ever want to do it. Too much for business and not about the emotion of spending it with someone you love. Whether it is romantic, parent, friends or children. Just show someone you love them.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  4. I never celebrate it. The last time I did (or as it turns out…didn’t) Loser, unbeknownst to me, had the tramp shacking up with him. He called me and tearfully said “oh, babe. I didn’t do anything this year…on either end. It was just too weird. I think I’m just going to go home and drink my dinner.”
    Then, a few days later, I got a picture and a message from the tramp….it was them at a Valentines’ Dance at an airplane hanger….complete with the invitation to the “sweetheart dance.”
    Years earlier, his “first” betrayal was when he sent his tramp flowers. Didn’t send me any but he didn’t forget her. Even saved the card he enclosed and she scribbled on and returned to him. I found it eighteen years later. Must have been special to him.
    Isn’t he just a peach? So….to me…..it is a day of disgust and betrayal…a day for unfaithful husbands and their tramps.
    Celebrating it with your Munch….can’t think of anything more special. He will mean it when he kisses you and tells you that you are the best mommy in the world. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Laurel, he was a jerk loser and not all men are like that. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned and you know karma is a bitch. They’ll get theirs. Trust me. Yep, spending it with Munch will be amazing considering he just got his report card last night and got 11 A’s, 1 B and 1 C. I’m so super proud. I can’t believe it.

      Like

      Reply

      1. I wish I believed in Karma…but I have discovered that people like Loser, the WTC and his mama never have anything bad happen to them, and I think the reason is because they never think THEY have done anything wrong….or if they have, they were too drunk to remember it.
        About your little Munch…congratulations!!! I know you’re proud!!!! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  5. I. Hate. Valentine’s Day.
    — I’ve always hated it. I never celebrate it. I am with you on loving love and celebrating love but why do I need a specific date to celebrate the one I love? We never go out for Valentine’s Day per my request, but we do celebrate our love every day. My friends think I’m crazy and I just tell them I don’t need a special day to be told I’m loved and showered with chocolate, flowers, and a fancy dinner, my husband shows me every day in HIS own way because HE wants to, not because the whole world told him to.
    End rant. LOL

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  8. I don’t like it that much. It’s nice when my boyfriend takes me somewhere to eat or gets me a little something though. I don’t expect anything anymore. I always get him some chocolate or a giftcard. I get my son and family members a little something too.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

      1. No, it doesn’t have to be that day. Like you say, it’s usually crowded that day anyway. I’m not sure if he’ll plan anything because he almost has finals. We’re going on a little trip after he finishes this semester anyway. I saw some Dallas Cowboys stuff for my son. Plus, I’m taking my son to Las Vegas for Spring Break.

        Liked by 1 person

  10. I love those mommy/son dates – they’re the best!

    I’m cooking for Valentine’s Day. There’s a gourmet pasta shop nearby that sells heart-shaped ravioli. I bought a bunch along with vodka sauce and, of course, chocolate for dessert.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Yes, they are priceless. He’ll grow up and leave for college and we’ll miss these times. He’s already asking me what I’m going to get him for Valentine’s Day. I love that you’re cooking. Pasta is my favorite.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  11. Pingback: A Valentine’s Day First – A Thomas Point of View

Leave a comment