I Need You To Stop

Stop what you may ask? Please stop sending me messages in comments asking me to follow your blog. I don’t know about you, but I hate when I get comments on a post with bloggers indicating that they’ve followed me and I would like me to follow them. I need you to stop it.

Why?

I follow over 1,000 bloggers. If you follow me, please note that I may look at your blog immediately and see if something resonates within me and follow you as well. However, I’ve learned that many people follow to follow. That’s not what I do. If I follow you, I will have your posts sent to my email which means that I read about 100 or more posts a day. I don’t just follow everyone.

I currently follow many people that don’t follow me. Does it bother me? No. I follow those who I enjoy. What bothers me is if I comment on a blogger’s post and they never respond. However, that’s not the case with those that I follow.

They are responsive and that is why I keep coming back to read their posts. Follow those bloggers that you like to read. Not the ones that you are trying to get to follow you just because. Cultivate an authentic blogging relationship.

If you want to gain new followers, please find a new way other than posting a comment asking me to follow you because you followed me. Spend time getting to know me. Comment on some of the things that I write. Show me you’re actually reading what I post and I promise you that kind of engagement will always make me follow you so that I can return the favor.

What are your thoughts on this?

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76 thoughts on “I Need You To Stop

  1. Ohhhhh, I am so glad someone said it. It’s been on my mind for days. What really sets me off, and I’ve been getting a lot recently now, is when a person comments on my post with- “Nice, check out my blog too.” Or “good, check out my posts too” and then leave their links.
    I mean obviously, I saw the like/ comment and would probably check out the blog to see if I like it.

    Liked by 4 people

      1. I so totallly agree! And if I do read and comment it is nice to get a follow up and build support systems through blogging. I look at everyones blog who comments or likes…honestly these days Id rather get a comment that shows the person actually read it and didnt just go trough and hit a bunch of likes. Although I understand when you are following many, you cant comment on all so a like is just an acknowledgement of it being read. For me, /id rather have true conversations and input and friendships through commonalities in blogging. I like it to be real and not just another facebook world. To be asked to be followed is poor etiquette and that comes from someone who doesnt put a napkin in her lap!

        Liked by 3 people

      2. Yep, it does. I don’t always comment on every post because of the sheer magnitude of the blogs I follow, but trust me I don’t like what I haven’t read and I share posts through Twitter or my Facebook page. I usually comment on those posts that really resonate with me at that moment.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I agree as well! I check out every new follow on my blog just to see what they are writing about. But I’ve found that I’ve become more selective in who I follow these days. Mostly for the same reasons you’ve stated: the posts get sent to my email and I want to enjoy what I am reading, and I want to be able to have a relationship with the blogs that I follow.

    Liked by 3 people

      1. Newbie bloggers don’t get that. Don’t waste your time following people that you really don’t like to read their work. The whole point is to be both an engaged blogger and a real follower, not just a number.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Yes, yes, yes – I totally agree. Many of these types of comments have to be approved by me – and I just do not approve them and never respond to them. I totally understand and agree with you Tikeetha. Thanks for writing this post. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Agree with you. I am relatively new to this malarky. I have needed to do this very thing you are talking about. It does take a while to get the hang of it all though. So I am gradually weeding out through my inbox!! And it really does not bother me if I leave a message for someone whose site I like but who does not follow me in return. I simply enjoy exploring others’ words. So, who knows, in time we might well follow each other. In the meantime, I wish you happy blogging!!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. You were brave enough to mention this last year. I havent yet been. I touched on it the other day with a post I left up briefly about the fact that I think I creep people out when I comment on their stuff. Even that I didn’t leave up long. I know not everyone is writing for likes and followers but at the same time, you think it would be nice if you know someone is reading you and wants to talk to you, maybe understands where youre at. I’ve put thousands of comments out that never got answered and that pisses me off. Especially when it’s someone with only a handful of followers. I’m kind of wondering “why are you even here?” And then there are the sites with 20k followers that literally go down the Reader and like like like. Apparently not enough people are wise to this or they wouldn’t have that many followers. And you know theyre reading NONE of it. I’d honestly rather have a STRONG handful of 20 that I communicate with regularly than to have 500 people following me who don’t know who the fuck I am and never want to talk to me. I love comments on my page because then I get to talk to people and i know they actually read. And I feel like there’s no better way to bond with some with them through writing. Unfortunately the great majority here do not feel the same. It’s just self-serving posts for followers with a faceless author who doesnt want to engage. -sam

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yep. I’ve seen those too. I comment and they say nothing. I think…how hard is it to respond? I just stop reading and move own. I don’t need someone to comment on everything, but occasional interaction is good. I tweet and share a lot of my great reads to my Facebook page.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. I had no idea that you were supposed to respond to every comment. I am guilty of this. Really bad. Single mom, two kids, and I only write when I need to vent. Recently started following a few other people. I will be sure to be more “blogger polite” in the future. :/

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Oh i dont mean respond with words per se….just ZERO acknowledgement! I think thats rude. If i had a thought about someones words i like to at least know they saw it. Or gave a damn lol!

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Just respond when you get a chance. I try to respond to every comment when I get a chance because I don’t want them to think that if they wrote that I don’t acknowledge them. It’s a learning process.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. There is no point in following someone when you don’t even understand/appreciate or feel a connection with what they are writing. I don’t want a follow for a follow, how disingenuous. If I like what you got, trust me…I will follow you!

    Liked by 2 people

  7. I didn’t realize this was a thing until I started looking up people who have similar interests to mine the other day… I can see how it would get annoying, but since my blog is my vent station/journal, I suppose it really doesn’t matter.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. The same thing has been frustrating me lately, too. “Hey, your kid is cute! Can you follow my blog?” And sometimes just “Follow me please, I’m new!” It’s highly unlikely that I’ll even look at, let alone follow, someone who does that.

    Like

    1. I know right? Follow me because you like what I have to say and then start commenting and 9 out of 10 times I will start to read your blog and something will resonate within and I will follow you. But, there are many bloggers that don’t follow me and I don’t fret. I blog because I want too. Not because I’m looking for a huge following.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. My thoughts are that like most of the time I totally agree with you. I don’t even need a response to a comment of mine unless I ask a question. I’m following enough bloggers…including you my T., that I really understand the over 100 a day emails and this can really cut into my other daily life. Not that I have enough of one to actually matter but I don’t like anyone begging me to do anything. If I’m interested, I will follow…if not perhaps I peruse every once in a while. ~~dru~~
    ps. No need for comment on this, I just assume you and others will read it.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. You should totes follow my blog. I’m the bestest. πŸ˜‰ Just kidding! I totally agree. I’m of the mind that people who blog only to receive followers will not get very far. Even if they do, what quality do they have in it? Probably not much.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I don’t really get this through my blog but definitely on social media and I just ignore them. It usually turns me off from whatever they are trying to promote tbh so yup, I feel you sis on this one. And wow you read 100 blogs a day? Now that’s a great topic for a blog post. I would love to read how you do that out of curiosity. lol

    Liked by 2 people

    1. It’s probably closer to 200 to 250 when I’m playing catch-up. It’s a lot. I follow a lot of great bloggers. I get them sent to my email and read them and like and/or comment on them. I can’t keep up with my bloggers on the reader. I’m not always on it and I don’t want to miss posts.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. I’ve only had one person come straight out and say this (which, when I think about it, is pretty amazing) — it seriously annoyed me, but he was young and brand new and I wrote it off to youthful tactlessness. This is an aggravating tactic, though, and has no place in thoughtful blogging.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Nope. You learn that you have to build your blog at your pace and not just follow someone who you don’t enjoy reading just to get a follow. It may be inexperience, but hopefully they will see this post and realize that it is not proper blogging etiquette.

      Like

    1. LOL. I just hate those comments. I’ve been blogging a long time and I have truly cultivated blogging relationships with people so get to know me. Not just look for me to follow you. It’s exhausting.

      Like

      1. I get a lot of those, or followers who hadn’t liked a single thing, it’s like why bother? Ha, the need for quantity over quality I would think. Peace and love and a hug for MunchπŸ’•πŸ’œ

        Liked by 1 person

  13. I’ve had a few ask me to “check out their blog.” I agree that a lot of “followers” only follow you so that you will follow them. I try to follow bloggers who follow me but after a while, if they never “like” or comment, I just don’t read them anymore…and like you sis, if they never respond to a comment….sayonara!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Excellent and needed to be said, loud and clear! πŸ‘πŸ‘ŠThat is a pet peeve of mine in addition to bloggers that have no original content and only reblog other people’s work. I also follow lots of blogs that don’t follow me back and that’s cool because it’s about community and exchanging with likeminded bloggers and aspiring authors.

    Like

    1. No problem. I read a lot in between working and managing people. If I don’t I would never get through people’s posts. However, it doesn’t leave me much time to read outside of blogger posts. I’m working on that.

      Liked by 1 person

  15. I’ve never actually seen/been asked to follow so that I may follow. I just think that sometimes it is hard to not lose authenticity and being genuine when one is fixated about quantity but that just means that individual’s needs to re-evaluate and refocus. I don’t know about you but it really makes me disappointed when I see someone follow what I am doing, then only to see them doing the same thing to dozens of people. I would hope if someone follows, they like something that I am doing or said or something. Not just CLICK, click..click.

    ~ Bre

    Liked by 1 person

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