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Life’s Not Fair

Tikeetha TMby
25 Comments on Life’s Not Fair

I had an amazing weekend. Busy, but I got everything I wanted to do done. LOL. You like that right? Everything that I wanted to do. Not everything that I should have done, etc. But, it was perfect.

However, I wanted to tell you what happened when I picked up Munch from after care at school on Friday.  I missed the heck out of that little boy.  It was like my world was set right laying eyes on that beautiful kid of mine. He smiled this big grin and gave me a hug, but I knew something was wrong the minute he hugged me. What’s wrong I asked? “Nothing” he replied. I said, “Munch, I know something is bothering you baby. What is it? What is wrong?” He then told me how he got in trouble today in after care. He said that they were lining up for snack time and a young boy (in kindergarten) yelled out that he wanted to be second in line, but Munch beat him to be second in line. The little boy said to Munch, “Hey, that’s not fair. I wanted to be second.” Munch replied “Life’s not fair”. He said that the little boy was upset and then told the director. Munch said that he didn’t yell at the little boy. He said “I said it matter of fact mommy. I wasn’t mean or yelling” but the director told me that I shouldn’t have said it.

His little eyes were wide with fear. Fear that I would be mad at him. I said “Munch, you did nothing wrong. You were right. Life is not fair and as long as you weren’t mean to him, then you are giving him a dose of reality.” Was I wrong? I don’t think so.

Munch is very sensitive and feels for everyone, but I’m trying to toughen up his exterior to know that not everything will work out for you. You can try your best and still fail and you know what? That’s okay. Life’s not about being fair. Life is about doing the best you can and being a good human being. No one is going to give you anything.

But, could Munch have just given him the spot? Sure, but should he have too? The child wasn’t going to not get a snack. He just wasn’t second in line. I know that some people make think it harsh that I support what he said, but it’s cool. I believe that we should be good people, but we shouldn’t deny ourselves if we choose not too.

I would have been more hurt had the child not gotten a snack and Munch didn’t offer to share his. The reality is that I’m raising a black boy in a “post racial society” where many people think racism is dead. It’s not. He may get pulled over for being black and even though it may not be fair, you need to know how to act. He may be unfairly judged in the classroom or on the streets and it’s not fair, but it is the way it is. I’m teaching him how to survive when life’s not fair, because that’s all you can do.

What are your thoughts?

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

25 comments

  1. I, 100% agree with you. Munch did nothing wrong. He is right Life’s not fair. He wasn’t unkind to the other boy and I don’t think he should have been reprimanded by the director. You are a great mom Munch is so lucky to have you as his mom as you are to have him as your son. x

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    1. Thank you so much. I truly appreciate it. I know that maybe she thought the other little boy was to young to hear that, but I think she should get over it. Life’s not fair.

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  2. Honestly, I think that Munch did not do anything wrong. In fact, in my humble opinion, I think that he teach that other child a valuable lesson that life is unfair and it is up to us to strive for ourselves. We constantly need to be better for ourselves and our family. It is better that the child is aware of it now rather than be a ‘privileged’ for the rest of his life where he thinks that he is entitled to everything. Much love. 🙂

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    1. Thank you. I try to teach him that because that’s reality. He didn’t pass his swim test yesterday and he was upset. I explained that life’s not fair, we’ll just repeat it, but that it is the instructor’s job to make sure that he can get to the next level. He was okay with it. No one passed yesterday.

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      1. Yep, gotta learn how to fail, and get back up. Most people fail more often than succeed. It’s the reality of life. The sooner they learn that failing isn’t the failure, that not trying again and again is the failure, the better. That sentence sounds really bad grammatically, but you get my drift. 😃

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  4. The fact is…life is not always fair. If we raise our children to feel entitled, all of them are not only want to be second in line…that will expect it.
    And we don’t always get what we want. Your precious boy already know that. He could have been ugly. Instead he, although standing his ground, showed grace and understanding of the world. He has learned that from his mama. 😘

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  5. I like this! And thanks for sharing! I once read a great article about teaching your child not to share. Not deliberately but to respectfully say you dont want to share your toys or your snack or whatever, because as adults we all have that choice. And Munch is so right. Life isn’t fair! Lol i hope he’s ok!

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  6. My reply to this is life isn’t fair. Yes he could have given him the second spot in line and been commended for that but he could also be commended for the truth, it’s not fair its a dog eats dog world out there and some people wear milkbone underwear.

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  7. I stand by you on that Tikeetha. Munch did nothing wrong. I definitely agree with where you’re coming from. I’m the same way and I will teach my children the same thing. It’s unfortunate, though, that this mindset isn’t accepted in today’s society. Keep raisin’ em tough. He’ll thank you for it if he knows what’s good for him. I reckon he does. 🙂

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  8. Assuming it went down like he says it went down, he did nothing wrong. I find that my kids “adjust” the details when they think they are in trouble, though, and I tend to take it all with a grain of salt. 😉

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  10. Love this! You are right, life is not fair, act accordingly. I wish I had been taught this growing up. I am still processing the concept of how you can do the right thing and still not get a right result, lol. And add to the fact that I am an only child like Munch, I think that adds another layer to it. Great you are teaching him early!

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    1. LOL, I try. He was hurt because he didn’t pass his swim test on Sunday and I reminded him that it was okay and it was to be expected. I asked him “Did you try your best?” He said he did so I reminded him that it’s okay. We’ll repeat it. No one passed the class. There were 7 kids in it.

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