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Domestic Violence and Silence

Tikeetha TMby
29 Comments on Domestic Violence and Silence

Do you hear that? It is the sound of a fist hitting flesh. Bam. Blood dripping off the lip of the victim. She whimpers. Most of the bruises she can hide with make-up. This is physical abuse.

Will you help her?

Did you know? That she left her ex-husband and he’s not supporting his children. He wanted her to stay at home and raise the children. She did. She left and he turned off all her cards and put all the money in the joint account in his private one. She doesn’t have money for food. This is financial abuse.

Will you help her?

Did you know that he called her “b*tch” so much that she thought that was her name? That he cussed her and put her down in front of his friends. Did you watch him make “jokes” at her expense and the painstakingly way she laughed off?  Did you know that he tells her personal and painful history to his new partner as a way to hurt her and humiliate her. This is emotional abuse. 

Will you help her?

Did you know that she endured sex so many times because he wanted it? She hated having sex with him whenever he wanted it but he told her that her body belonged to him. She died each time. This is sexual abuse. 

Will you help her?

Did you know that he sends her harassing emails putting her down and telling her “his beliefs and opinions” about her and what kind of parent she is? He talks about her negatively on social media. This is digital abuse.

Will you help her?

October is Domestic Violence Awareness month. Did you know? Did you know that many women suffer from domestic violence that goes unreported.

Domestic violence does not discriminate. Anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion or gender can be a victim – or perpetrator – of domestic violence. It can happen to people who are married, living together or who are dating. It affects people of all socioeconomic backgrounds and education levels. – National Domestic Violence Hotline

The CDC reports that before the age of 18 – 8.5 million women first experienced rape. I am one of those women. I am a survivor of domestic violence, as I was a victim of rape before the age of 18. I’ve also suffered emotional violence. Violence is never okay.

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Many men don’t see it as emotional violence because they feel that they aren’t physically assaulting you. That’s a myth. If you can’t control your temper and you use tactics to humiliate, embarrass or belittle your former partner, you need help. My rape isn’t my fault. My sexual assault isn’t my fault. My molestation isn’t my fault. Victim shaming is a form of humiliation and is insulting to the victim. You’ve now become a batterer.

I am a survivor and you need to know that violence is never the answer. Don’t ignore the pain of those that may need your support because your silence may kill. Help those that may be hurting.

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Do you know someone? Are you in an abusive relationship? Please get help. Call:

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

29 comments

    1. Some don’t. We still need people to help. All you can do is support and try to help those that are victims. Leaving is a personal choice and many women and men stay in relationships way beyond the expiration date. We need to be advocates for them.

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  7. An extremely important post. It is important for partners to realise that abuse goes beyond what is visible to the eye. All kinds of actions can constitute abuse – constantly degrading comments, belittling someone, hating on the little things they do – the list goes on. Abusers need to wake up and realise the consequences that their actions are having and take responsibility by accounting for their actions. Abuse starts with you but it can also end with you.

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    1. The web of domestic violence, treats you like a beast. I wrote this poem in the Labyrinth.
      A Labyrinth
      Who chose for me this prison I’m n? A labyrinth a maze, that I should live n.
      The confines of my torment, surely is kin to medieval dungeons n torturous sins.
      Subject to the whims of a tyrants will, void embrace n bitter chill.
      A task set aside for a prince to fill.
      When evening draws nigh, I look to the sky;
      Motionless and still.

      The Path is concealed confronted by walls, m unduly despised n rejected by all.
      Surrounded by endless eckoes….. Pleading calls!
      The loneliness….
      s most difficult of all.

      A would-be prince in a foreign land.
      The wealth of a nation to n imposters hand,
      Betrayed by posers, a devious plan.
      They fear exposure, but Alive he stands.

      They’ve taken treasure more precious than gold,
      They cast him out to suffer the cold.
      The vesture of a prince, now rags with holes.

      Turns south n north n back n east, the journey is long, weary feet.
      The path is bed n seat.
      Run! Retreat! Around every corner, another defeat….

      Memories of the past spell a haunting tale, with pleas for expectance, to no avail.
      Every good will gesture seemed to have failed, leaving only unanswered questions to prevail.
      Tears tainted his food, sadness his song. As time marched on he grew wise n strong.
      The end of His Journey emerged after long. Only to realize how deeply he’d been wronged.

      The end of the Labyrinth was sealed with stone.
      The challenge was to condemn him forever alone.

      A bellow from the labyrinth, rang a boisterous tone!
      The stone-cold pattern was a message from home.

      Though he thought himself to be an only child,
      Many Others had been banished to the sea, or to the wild.
      Nearing The Kingdom, having traveled may miles.
      In search of a Kindred undefiled.

      Red Clay weeps before gilded gate; with stones set in mortar, to seal his fate.
      But then he looks up n realizes….. it’s not too late.
      With His Future before him He leaps……… n Faith!

      On top of the wall his eyes are wide open!
      Task fulfilled, Spirit unbroken. The kingdom before him for which he been hoping.
      Destined for the crown, after years of coping.

      His allies were valiant when they heard his voice. The streets were alive, the inhabitants rejoiced.
      Traders fled when given choice.

      Those lost at-see; Set sails to hoist!
      Joined to his People In The Way, to The Promised Land.
      They put an end to the wicked plan.
      They gathered in the Harvest n made straight the crooked way.
      Now it’s clear, he wasn’t “a beast” at all.
      Just a Son of red clay.

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  10. I left my abusive husband back on March 3rd this year and I am also without my children who are severely autistic and partly due to my husbands abusive behaviors were taken from us and put in group homes opposite directions……I don’t get to see them much because I can’t drive……Even though I am grieving and feeling very lonely right now I know I had to have done the right thing. I have been married for nineteen years …….thank you for this article

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    2. My heart goes out to you; I too am a survivor of domestic violence, and ended up loosing my little one to the system when I left. I currently have overnight visitation, and am hoping to be reunited soon. I shall keep you, and your family in my prayers.

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  11. Thank you for sharing this! Abuse comes in many forms. Often, victims of domestic violence feel as though they have no voice; it is of great importance for survivors of domestic abuse to band together, to break the silence, to be the voice for those that believe they have none. To all those that are suffering at the hands of their abusers, I promise you, there is a light beyond this dark tunnel, no matter how far said light is from your current range of sight. There is hope, there is tomorrow, and you do have a future. Let us break the shackles of domestic abuse together, and be silent no more!

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  13. Tikeetha, thank you so much for sharing…I recently came out of an abusive relationship a few months ago. I didn’t even know domestic violence was even still a “thing” anymore. 😦 I felt alone, isolated, and hurt. At times I felt helpless. The encouragement I got to leave and the awareness of what was going on is what got me through. Now, I see that it is so important to shed light and bring awareness of what domestic violence looks like so that others can have hope to. I am so grateful that you shared this.

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    1. You are so welcome. I’m thankful that you were able to get out of it. So many don’t. We need to advocate for an understanding of what domestic violence is and how we can help others. We are stronger together.

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  15. Men get laughed to scorn, when they plead for justice for victims of violent crimes. My Heart goes out to all victims of domestic violence, especially my Children. People like to make blogs and seem so righteous; but no one really cares. No one will go out of there way. Children’s rights don’t exist. Human Rights don’t exist. Loving your neighbor don’t exist. This country is doomed. No one will help. YHSHweb.wordpress.com One year and not one offer for help.

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