Surviving the BS – Part 2

This is a continuation of my post yesterday

I’m tired of staying silent. I’m tired of wearing a mask hiding the pain of what I’m enduring and everyone taking sides not knowing half of the truth. It doesn’t matter. My life. My story. My pain.

God has given me great people to help support me throughout my life. I am thankful for them. For their continued prayer and support. For their strength when I forward the emails that I receive because I’m filled with such anxiety over what will be said next.

It’s October. It’s Domestic Violence Awareness month and I’m tired of protecting the person who abuses me. I will no longer allow the oppressor to continue to oppress me. I am not going to be silent. Verbal and emotional abuse are just as important as physical. Could you imagine receiving emails from someone throwing your pain of when you were a child in your face? Verbal abuse is abuse and is never justified.

Think about the allegations against Harvey Weinstein. It’s been 30 years of accusations that this man victimized many over the years. Some spoke out and some didn’t. Many victims don’t speak out. Fear. Ridicule. Humiliation. Loss of opportunities.

“He was violent toward women and men, and his abuse came in many forms — from screaming and berating to character assassination and nonconsensual advances. His behavior was both an open secret and a secret ritual.” – Violence. Threats. Begging. Harvey Weinstein’s 30-year pattern of abuse in Hollywood. – Monica Hesse and Dan Zak 

Sound familiar? But, men can be victims of sexual assault as well. We learned that when actor Terry Crews spoke out about his sexual assault. He gets it. Do you?

I am overprotective of my son. So, what? I know that 1 in 6 boys will be sexually assaulted before the age of 18. The number is probably larger than that as many boys don’t report the assault. They repress the memories. Think Tyler Perry. He was abused and shared his story for the first time while I was pregnant with Munch.

I stand for all those that have been victimized and/or abused. I stand ready to add my voice to the list of people that have suffered. To speak for those that have lost their voice and to defend those that are too tired to fight. You matter. I matter.

We all matter.

I had to remind myself of that these last couple of weeks. I had to stop the tears, the nightmares and repressed memories that are seeping through from yet another trauma. I had to regain my strength, dry my tears and let you know that I’m a victim too. But, no more.

No one has a right to tell you that you don’t matter. No one has a right to harass, intimidate and bully you. No one has the right to break you down after you’ve been broken down by so many other men. No one has the right to deny you the right to live your happy ass life.

So, I’m choosing me. I want you to choose you too. I want you to let go of all the pain of the past and give it to God. I want you to find peace. Like I’m trying to do. I’m letting go. I’m allowing this battle to be fought by God. I will continue to love and raise my son as I see fit. I will no longer be a victim for anyone. Including my ex.

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

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21 thoughts on “Surviving the BS – Part 2

  1. God bless you and your son! Unfortunately you have to deal with the ex for a number of years. I’m so proud that you are not just sitting back and taking it anymore. No more protecting the abuser! You are more important. You are the most important in your life and your son’s life. Peace my friend!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you. I just want peace. No need for opinions, embarrassments or harassment. Just make any and all messages about our son’s health, education or religion. If it doesn’t pertain to that it really doesn’t matter to me.

      Like

    1. Nope we shouldn’t. But, we shouldn’t also be forced to share to make other people judge our pain. I shared my story to stop the BS from my ex because he wanted to share it as a way to humiliate and insult me about my rape and molestation. Women get abused so much. We need to stop victim shaming.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I know you may hear it everyday, but thank you for sharing your story.

    My sister was abused for years-physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally-and is still working through the aftereffects almost 10 years later; it is sometimes difficult to witness, so I can only imagine what it was like, what turmoil that relationship encompassed. I cannot relate, but only sympathize, be an ally, listen to and thank women (and men) that are ready to share their stories as there can never be too many.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Yes!
    I have many followers on my blog and many in my life that are boys/men that have been sexually abused and it is horrific.no one should ever have to go through that. It breaks my heart to learn of what is being done. I actually have two male friends that were abused by women as children. I myself was abused by a woman. There is no set gender role for abuse. My recent blog post was specifically about men abusing women because that is what I have experienced for much of my childhood but you bringing such awareness to men being abused is so important and I am grateful you are sharing this story

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you. I do my best to keep my son safe. No one is truly safe, but we have to be an advocate for the victims. We have to keep sharing the stories so these sick people will be put to shame.

      Like

    1. Thanks sis! Yep, I’m not taking this BS lightly. I owe him nothing. That’s the part that I think bothers him. That I’ve never needed him and I don’t need him for anything. There are a lot of things that I could say about this man, but I’m not out of respect for our son, but I have 9 years until Munch is 18 and I’m not going to be silenced.

      Like

  4. Yay! Congrats on releasing the pain. No one deserves to suffer in silence. Your words are powerful…who cares what others think…you have a right to heal, a right to throw away that garbage(baggage from your past)…and a right to be happy.

    Liked by 1 person

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