I’ve mentioned before that I have two best friends. One male and one female. I’m not sure who I met first but, it was within 2 weeks of moving to the area. My male best friend and I tried to date, but it never worked out. We settled into a friendship that has served us well. However, something changed or rather I learned something new about him.
He was there for me when Mr. C and I broke up. My other best friend was out of town supporting her other best friend whose mother had died. He called to check on me repeatedly and offered words of encouragement to help me through the break-up. It was really weird because he had never seemed so genuinely concerned about my love life before.
He was the one that told me that “it was a healthy relationship and a healthy break-up”. There was no anger, cursing or infidelity. He told me that many people stayed in relationships well past their expiration date, but we would be able to preserve our friendship because we didn’t hate each other. I sighed. I hated it, but he was right.
So, I went through the grieving process and moved on. My best friends stayed in my corner supporting me through the drama with my ex and all the things in between. They encouraged me these last few months and reminded me that I am stronger than anything or anyone. They poured praise and positive thoughts into my mind and spirit and prayed for me when I was too exhausted to pray for myself. I am truly thankful for them.
The thing though, is that last week I had lunch with my male best friend and we were talking about our love lives and relationships and he made a comment that took me by surprise. He said to me “I don’t really allow women to get close to me because I have you. I come to you when I need stuff or I’m feeling bad. I share my concerns with you because I am afraid of letting them in.” I was shocked.
I really didn’t know how to respond so I went home and thought about what he said and it really hurt me. I wondered was I, in some way shape or form, holding him back from happiness. Was I his crutch for not making himself available to other women? Is this why the many women that he dated had issues with me without ever meeting me?
-To Be Continued-