This is a continuation from my post yesterday entitled: I’m Your Crutch – Part 2
I had a lot of questions, but life got in the way and I never asked him. Fast forward to our conversation last week and I had a whole lot of questions. I went to Mr. C to get his male opinion about the situation and his perspective was totally different. He said that my male friend was interested in me. That he wanted to pursue a relationship with me.
Really? I was like stop lying. I said I’d ask him because I believe in the direct approach and he said “If you ask him that direct question then he’ll lie to you.” I didn’t want to believe that. Relationships, friendships and any connections with me must be based on honesty. He said he does things for you that he doesn’t do for other women. I thought about that.
In November, my car wouldn’t start while I was sitting outside waiting for Munch to come out of tutoring. This was the second time it happened. The first time I called Mr. C and he called Triple A to come to the rescue. Triple A did it as a favor because he has the premium package, but because he wasn’t with me they would do it this one time. I didn’t know what was wrong with the car. The guy said it wasn’t the battery, alternator or starter. Both were within normal range. I brushed it off as a fluke.
Until two weeks later when the same thing happened to me. I called Mr. C. He instructed me to call my brother because he lived down the street. I honestly hadn’t thought about calling my brother, but I did and he came to assist us since my car wouldn’t stop in front of the tutoring location. I honestly thought the place was possessed. But, while I waited on my brother to rescue his big sister and his nephew, my best friend called. I told him what was going on.
He said that he would call Triple A. I explained that Mr. C did that two weeks ago and they don’t like to do that if the person isn’t there. He said “Oh, I’ll come over and wait with you.” I was an hour and 15 minutes away from him. I just said “Nope, it’s okay, Kenny is coming. He’ll take care of it.” He said okay. My brother came and assessed that it was the battery. He gave me a jump, took it to Auto Zone and installed my battery that night. Munch replied “I love my uncle Kenny.”
I hadn’t thought much about that incident until Mr. C said he does things for me that he doesn’t do for other women. Was there truth in that? I mean he takes out my trash all the time. If he ever comes by he takes out my trash which made me believe that trash was a man’s job because he did it. So, I called him and asked him directly “Do you take out other women’s trash if you go over their house and you see their trash can is full in the house?” He said “No. Why would I do that?” I told him that I thought it was the standard practice of being a good guy and that it was just something he did. He said “No, not every woman gets that privilege.” I asked “What makes me so special?” He said “It’s you. I’ve known you for years.” Ugh!
Could this be true? Could my friend really have feelings for me and is just hiding them because he doesn’t want to ruin our friendship? Can’t men and women just be friends? How can we move past his awkwardness?
I needed and craved the stability of my friend back. I need his strong presence, sense of peace and love back. Not awkward emotions trying to wonder is he doing something because I’m special or because he had feelings. There was only one thing to do…
Talk to my therapist.
-To Be Continued-