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2019 dating dating chronicles relationships

I Need a Hobby Besides Dating

Tikeetha TMby
36 Comments on I Need a Hobby Besides Dating

I told you last month that I’m putting myself back out there and dating again. It’s been almost a year since Mr. C and I broke up and I haven’t dated since 2015. Whew! This dating thing is not for the faint of heart. It seems to be a confusing circle of foolishness with specks of sanity that disappear as soon as the phone numbers are exchanged.

Can I just tell you that I’m tired? Already. If you are in a happy, healthy and functioning relationship with MINOR problems – don’t end your relationship. Work on it and stay together. The grass is definitely not greener out here. Some days it is downright brown as hell and with pieces of black scorch marks.

The men that I mentioned that had peaked my interest in my post: Trust the Process have all been eliminated. I can’t tell you why. Okay, yes I can so I will say this:

  1. Mr. T – does not have time. Time to get to know me. Time to date. He started slacking off with the calls and I did too. He also kept making comments about how he could be in DC and sleeping on my couch. Umm, nope. Ya’ll may not know this but I don’t allow any man that I’m not in a relationship to ever step foot in my house as that is the place where my Munch lays his head. Only a boyfriend would get that privilege. But, we didn’t get there. It was the lack of communication that killed it. He then said that I want you to send me messages so that I can hear them when I get off work. I kindly replied that I could do that but communication is a two way street so I needed him to do more. We both stopped trying. It is part of the process.
  2. Mr. D – he’s the one that I gave a second chance too when he showed me the crack in his self-esteem. Things were going well. He was out of town on business for about a week and a half. We conversed the Wednesday night before he flew back home. He was at the airport. I told him to have a safe flight and we’d talk tomorrow. The next morning I woke up sick as a dog and went to urgent care and got some medications. I realized that I didn’t know if he’d made it safely home so I sent him a good morning text and asked had he arrived safely. He said he had and sent emojis. Ugh, emojis are weird to me. So, I slept all day Thursday, went to work sick on Friday and came home with Munch and went to bed early Friday night. When I awoke on Saturday he had called 3 times Friday night. He called 10:25 pm; 10:35 pm and 11:25 pm. I knew it must have been an emergency because what man would ever call that late and 3 times. I immediately called him and he sent me to voicemail. I didn’t think anything of it. I assumed he was still dealing with his emergency until he sent me a text that said: I’m starting to think you’re full of shit. I’m done. Lose my number. What? You know what I did…I obliged and lost his number because he obviously lost his mind.
  3. Mr. R – we just sort of fell off. It was a conversation that we had prior to our second date (I told you that I can tell before the 3rd date whether or not we can build a friendship). I was telling him a situation that brought me clarity and involved another man and he cut me off stating he doesn’t want to hear about another man. Okay. I paused. We got off the phone and he called me back and apologized and said that he doesn’t want to hear about another man because he’s trying to get to know me. Uh huh. He apologized for his tone and I told him I don’t like censorship and that any man that chooses to silence me shouldn’t. He said he wasn’t. We went out one other time and it was forced. We stopped communicating after that.

 

To summarize, the three that I was dealing with last month have fallen off the radar. They are no longer a possibility. LOL. If that makes sense. I’m still dating. I need a hobby. I’ve met some decent human beings but I’m not at the point where I think anyone is an option to even be a friend yet. We still got to work on some things.

I’m just living and enjoying life. I’m hanging out with friends and just creating memories for 2019. I don’t expect that love will just fall in my lap but I’m actively allowing myself to be open should it be a possibility.

I’m going to say it again…the dating game is not for the faint of heart. It requires strength, flexibility and a sense of humor. But, here’s to hoping.

 

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page @mskeeinmd.

36 comments

  1. Dating is so so so hard especially when you’re officially ready to put yourself out there so you just jump into it all at once and end up disappointed. Definitely take it slow, it can be a painful process lol

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  5. Now, imagine being 58 and most of the prospects don’t have all of their teeth, still mourning over a dead wife or dog, think they’re still attractive to a 30 year-old, or only like home-cooked meals they didn’t cook and sitting in front of the television. And did I mention, that I haven’t been on a date in about 7 years? Yeahhhh….

    But hang in there!

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    1. Dang sis! I’m dying. I limit my profile age range, but I get it. I would lose my mind seeing that on a regular basis. How about the ones that know they look like a troll and want to connect? Then if you try to be nice they still think they have a shot. Ugh!

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  6. The best advice for single people is to participate in activities you love. Finding a hobby is good too. Myself as well as a few of my friends found their S/O while doing what they love, for me it was serving the community.

    Some things I would try now if I was still single is take up golf, join some type of civic or man rich environment where YOU are the minority as a woman.

    There’s a lot of single men out there but most of em you don’t want.🙃

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    2. “man rich environment” so true. I see so many women who join activities that other women join and that’s fine for the particular activity that you enjoy but if you also want to meet men you also have to join something that men do — your Oprah like book club isn’t gonna be a place to meet men. And sadly (but true) neither are a lot of church/religious activities. I’m very single so talking out of my butt but I have a friend who is so active in this and that and complaining that she is not meeting men, but she ends up in lady groups where even the ladies are married! So community stuff where the men are is a good start — I would think … hahaha

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      1. Lol I understand. I met my S/O at a community service organization but there were more women serving than men in that capacity too. 🤷🏽‍♀️ If I was doing it all over again I would look up orgs that are known to have a lot of male members and join that.

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  7. It’s alot isn’t it?
    All of my friends who are also seeking someone are saying the exact things that you are here.
    BUT GIRL!!!! This: “I’m starting to think you’re full of shit. I’m done. Lose my number.”
    Chile, he is lucky that all you did was LOSE his number. He should have got the BUSINESS! Mr. D……whatever!
    I’m rooting for you Sis.
    Keep your high standards love, you are soooo worth it 🙂

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  9. I like your advice on the grass isn’t always greener on the other side of the fence! BLOL I’m married to the same man, 41 years, I cannot believe it either! Most days are okay, but sometimes I say out loud, “I think I would like to live by myself!”. Usually that lasts for a day or so. I’m at the stage in my life where I want to purge belongings and move to the next chapter in my life. It’s difficult to want the same things at the same stage in life as your partner. Especially at the over 60 stage! One day at a time for me. Find a Hobby, Learn CPR, First Aid course ,take a Cooking Class, learn a craft, or even Volunteer. Good luck on the dating scene!

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  10. Good luck – dating feels like a full time job with absolutely no rewards whatsoever sometimes! (and that’s if you actually get as far as dating!) I’m finding people seem quite keen on talking anonymously online for ages and disappear the minute you suggest actually meeting up – clearly not looking for love, just entertainment. When did it become so difficult?

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    1. You are so right. I have no idea when it became so difficult. At least 15 years ago. Remember when online dating was still taboo? We wanted to meet people the old fashioned way. Ugh! I hate when people ask for my number and then don’t call or text. It’s like why ask for it then. Another waste of time.

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      1. I do remember it being taboo. I have several friends who met their husbands ‘in the pub’ because they would never admit where they did actually meet! Now you are considered odd if you single and not online dating. I wonder if they were simpler times or if I have rose coloured memory of them.

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  11. Dating is so long (especially in this day and age). It’s just better to live you’re life because all the effort you put in these days seems to be wasted

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  13. Pingback: I’m Back – A Thomas Point of View

  15. I have a male friend who pulled that “I’m starting to think you’re full of shit” line because I didn’t answer his call right away. He said I was disrespectful. I didn’t pick up the phone when I was in line at a store (beling polite to society) and when I picked up my phone to call him back there was this hateful message. What is it with some people that they take a missed call to be so personal or that they are entitled to someone else’s time on demand? smh Even though this guy and I went way back. I never responded to that mess.

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