Yearning

There was an ache in my soul when I thought that I couldn’t have children. Not that I ever wanted children. They were nice enough. But, I was afraid. Afraid of failing at being the kind of mother that I thought children deserved.

Until.

Until I knew that you were growing in my womb. It was a yearning in my spirit to protect you with everything that I am and everything that I have. The yearning is still there my sweet little boy. The yearning to be a better mother than I ever thought possible.

The yearning to be a person that you will always be able to depend on. The yearning to give you the best of what I have to offer. The yearning to lead and guide you down the path of life with God as our guide.

I yearn to shield you from as much pain as possible dear son. But, when I can’t shield you…I pray that you will know who to call on for help. Remember where our help comes from.

This post was part of the A2Z challenge and the letter “Y” is for Yearning. My posts will be written as a journal style for the challenge and will be on the theme: Mothering While Black. I hope you enjoyed it.

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