Check out what I said via How Do You L💖ve YourSELF?
It’s been a minute since I did one of these, but I wanted to share some photos of things that I’ve been up to in life. Wanted to let you know that Munch just got his second quarter grades and got 10 A’s and 4 B’s. I’m over the moon. His award ceremony is this morning.
Munch had his flute concert last month. Here he is looking so handsome. He’s actually enjoying playing the flute and I will be doing private lessons for him.
My siblings and I at my brother’s wedding. I love this photo because I just colored my hair and it was popping. LOL.
Munch and I worked hard on his STEM fair project this year. Although he didn’t win he won an award because of his creativity and enthusiasm. He was ecstatic about it.
My sorority sister made me this beautiful plaque for my birthday last month. I love it.
Munch went to the dentist last month and had to get two silver caps on his teeth, but one fell out right at the dentist. That was two teeth lost in 8 days. Hilarious. But, I’m still flossing his back teeth. He can’t get those and I am tired of paying for these silver caps. This is the second one. But, what was best about this is that Munch and I actually went to the library first and he selected a book to read for fun and couldn’t put the book down.
Finally, I’m trying to devote more time to appreciate the beauty in life. I’m learning to bask in the glory of nature and release my mind from negative energy. I’m learning to redirect my thoughts and pray more. I’m fasting and trying to increase God’s presence in my life. I wanted some fresh flowers in my office and so I went to the grocery store and bought some tulips. The next morning they had all bent in different directions and I snapped a picture because it reminded me of life. Even though we’re in the same jar some of us are bending in different directions and it still looks magnificent.
Happy Friday folks!
I told you in last week’s post entitled Parenting: Discipline Part I how Munch had disrespected his teacher and the level of disrespect had me questioning who was this little boy. I know that many of you experienced parents are probably laughing at me right now, but I genuinely had no idea who this young man was. But, I had to discipline him because he had to understand the lesson.
The lesson that I was trying to teach is about learning when to speak. It’s hard. We tend to speak first and think later. I get it. But, that’s a lesson you learn over time and it was something that I had to teach now. I explained to him that the Bible is full of lessons about holding your tongue and how you can make things worse. We read James 3:5 which states:
James 3:5 New Revised Standard Version (NRSV)
5 So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great exploits.
How great a forest is set ablaze by a small fire!
We didn’t stop there. We read Psalm 19:14 which states:
Psalm 19:14 King James Version (KJV)
14 Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer.
I explained to Munch that it’s not easy to bridle your tongue in the face of things you may consider unjust, but you have too. We all do. I tried to tell him that we will all fall short but that he needed to learn self-control and it won’t happen overnight. You just have to keep at it.
There was a lesson in there for me. We all need to learn how to bridle our tongues. He didn’t get TV or electronic privileges and no dessert. He was unhappy, but he understood that there was a consequence to the action. We talked, we read and we went to the library. We spent the weekend redirecting negative thoughts and bridling our tongues.
This parenting journey is rough.
Everyone has their definition of love.
I believe love is multifaceted. There’s love for family, love for children, love for people, and love for your partner.
I don’t know everything about love
One thing that I do know…
Love is always apparent, transparent and never a conundrum.
Love is a white blood cell that seeks out the virus that is hatred, anger, resentment, bitterness, envy, fear, and eradicates them.
Love isn’t roses for a day, it’s my word, my bond, my honesty and my heart for life.
Love is sacrifice… love is giving selflessly without thoughts of reciprocation.
Love is a lifetime, being in-love is a moment in that lifetime.
Love doesn’t take our breath away, it breathes life into you.
Love is thoughtfulness, note-taking, memorization of your partner’s needs and wants.
Love is writing your name on a piece of paper but changing the last name to your partner’s last name.
Love is proactive, it doesn’t wait… because love is like that orgasm that you can’t hold… it needs to be great.
Love isn’t petty. Love isn’t spiteful.
Love is honest expression when it hurts to say.
Love has conquered more people than Napoleon, Alexander the Great, Julius Caesar, Tamerlane, and Genghis Khan put together. Love is ruthless in that way.
From the hardest of hearts, to the most stubborn of minds, love finds a way.
So many people say… “Love is not enough.” We made love not enough.
Love is easy… we make it complex with all our lists, standards, expectations, preferences, and the lot. We call that love, that’s not love. Love is something we forgot.
Love was apparent when we were kids. We just didn’t recognize it. But it was easy… it was truly organic in its creation. It was trying to make your girlfriend smile just because you liked her. It was secret kisses, letters passed throughout class. It was phone calls where you stayed up until the wee hours of the morning until one of you (if not both of you) fell asleep.
That’s what love looks like to me. No makeup, no accessories, no taper, just raw, unmitigated passion for the other person in their purest form
On this Valentine’s Day, I wish you all the best in your current or future love.
I wanted to wish you all a very Happy Valentine’s Day! Whether you’re in a relationship or single know that you are loved. Today is like any other day except you will see a lot more red and pink. It’s endearing though.
I happen to be in a relationship with a wonderful man. I lovingly refer to him as Mr. C. He is the essence of goodness and warmth and love. He really does make me a better person and I always tell him that he is the better of us two. He’s kind, patient and generous.
Mr. C and I had a beautiful time celebrating our Valentine’s Day this past weekend. He has to work tonight which is perfect as I don’t enjoy going out on Valentine’s Day. He sent me the most beautiful roses and chocolate covered strawberries and we had an amazing date. Last night we had dinner at one of our favorite spots, but Mr. C wasn’t feeling well. He’s sick.
As a person that sometimes tries to find new and quirky ways to give gifts for this holiday, I did something different this year. I told him that we each had $20 to spend and we had to get everything from Five Below.
You should have seen me trying to figure out what I could get my love for $20.00. It was an adventure. But, it all worked out. I was able to get him four great gifts for $5.00 each and drop them in a gift bag I already owned. I added a card and 4 balloons so the total was more like $25.97. Pretty cool huh?
It wasn’t about the cost of the gifts it was more that I love doing different things. He shows me that he loves me all year through and I’m thankful for it all. Munch smelled the roses that Mr. C gave me as I put them in the vase. He said “Did your boyfriend buy you roses?” I laughed and replied “Yes, he buys me flowers often and just because.”
I think that’s the point of it all right? Love each other every day. Each and every day as though it were your last. Love unselfishly. Love often and don’t give up on love.
In Lieu of Valentines day, and for those of us who are still single—it’s time to get un-single or at least find a date (in less than 24 hours).
Let’s talk about the Direct messenger. Also known as, “the DM,” or, “getting in-boxed.” The most notable Direct Messenger is the stand alone Facebook app. There are others that exist such as, WhatsApp, WeChat, Snapchat, Kik, QQ, Skype, Viber and LINE. I choose to speak about Facebook Messenger because it’s directly connected to your Facebook app. Which is, needless to say, the most powerful social network in the world. The others are popular, but do not compare to Facebook Messenger.
Yes, Facebook is the devil. (I’m kidding).
Messenger is notorious for spammers, scammers, married people seeking side relationships (side piece) outside their spouse, people in relationships seeking a threesome, people in relationships seeking someone outside their partner (without their partners knowledge of course). And finally, people seeking relationships with a complete stranger or someone on their friends list. Which is, completely harmless.
That being said, I don’t want to talk about the negative aspect of the direct messenger. Let’s talk about all the features, positive experiences and stories that have come from a simple acknowledgement of a Direct Message.
What does that mean? It means, “embrace the direct messenger.” Be open to the possibilities that a simple direct message can bring you. I get it, you don’t know this person in-boxing you. They are not on your friends list, you have no mutual friends. So who are they? Is their page fake? “Let’s go look.” “he has 1000 friends and a few recent posts people have responded too.”
Instead of engaging him, you ignore him. Why? His message was respectful. He introduced himself, told you upfront that you didn’t know each other and had no affiliation, but he saw you on a public Facebook post and wanted to ask about you. Sounds like a decent introduction to me. And what’s the worse that can happen? It’s not like he’s a TV repairman turned death row criminal that will come through your internet modem and kill you. It’s an online experience. If you don’t like what has to say, it’s as easy as, “close and block.” Stop ignoring those DM pings. You know you see that message notification. If you are curious to see if someone has messaged you that is not on your friends list, go to your filtered message (message requests) inbox. You will probably find a few people who tried to reach out to you.
It’s important for you to understand just how many users on Facebook designate as single. Now compare that against the users in a relationship or involved (it’s complicated).
The below data states there were 669,600,000 active Facebook users designated as single as of, September 7th of 2016.
|In a Relationship||24 %|
|It’s Complicated||3 %|
That’s a lot of single people on one website. Of course there’s a percentage of those users that are not single, but are designated as single. But let’s just say that percentage is 20%. That still leaves 535,680,000 single people on Facebook, and you only need to meet 1. Also, there’s a high possibility that of those 535,680,000 users that at least 10 of them will reach out to you at some point during your time on Facebook. 1 of those 10 might be your future mate. So the odds are definitely in your favor. But not if you don’t embrace your DM.
Oh yeah… As of April 2016 The Facebook Messenger had 900 million active users. By July 2016 the number was 1 billion.
Consequently, you have a better chance meeting someone on Facebook for free, by simply letting it, “go down.”
What do you have to lose?
Right now you’re giving this article the side-eye. Like…”I can’t.” Really? Think about it. If you’re single, there’s high chance that you have been on a dating site. Or at least visited one before because you were curious. Dating sites are about as random as they come. At least with Facebook, some of the random people who reach out to you with romantic interests have mutual friends or connections. On dating sites, the meetings are completely random no matter how much they say they’re, “matching,” you. That being said, if you can go to a dating site and spend time setting up a profile, sourcing through profiles and responding direct messages and emails (while paying). Why wouldn’t you try it on Facebook which is free as the air we breathe?
Free vs Paid… no-brainer right?
It doesn’t take much. A posted pic or comment and someone will be inspired to send a message that will potentially lead to a relationship. Success favors the bold. So….be bold!
Success happens a lot more often than you think. People will talk about all the DM horror stories and frighten off those of us who might be open a random message request, had we not listened to them in the first place. Block out all that interference and go for it!
But hey… you don’t have to listen to me… according to TheKnot.com, below is a real life example of how going outside your box and opening yourself up to something unconventional, can lead to happiness.
THE COUPLE: Kendra Cowser, 30, and Sean O’Brien, 32
WHEN THEY MET: January 2010
WEDDING DATE: September 14, 2013
THEIR STORY: Kendra rarely friended anyone on Facebook other than people she knew, but in 2009 fate stepped in when Sean sent her a friend request. Although Kendra didn’t know him, he lived near her hometown of Galva, Illinois, and thought they might have mutual friends in common, so she accepted. None of his friends looked familiar though so she just let it go, until six months later when Sean started “liking” some of her photos. One night as she was packing up her apartment in Chicago getting ready to coincidentally head back to Galva, Kendra finally decided to satisfy her curiosity and message him. Sean responded immediately and they ended up writing back and forth all night. And then every day forward. It turns out Sean didn’t know her but she popped up in his list of people he might know. “I saw a cute girl and I wanted to add her,” he recalls. Both admitted that neither of them was planning on starting a relationship at the time, but it sure turned into one. Two days after Kendra was back in Galva, Sean was at her doorstep with a bottle of wine to celebrate meeting in person. In July 2012, Sean messaged her on Facebook (of course!) to ask her to go ring shopping—his way of proposing—and last September they threw a huge bash that their guests described as “the best wedding they’ve ever been to!”
It’s not hard, just proactively send a message or respond to one that comes into your inbox. I’d quickly vet them out. Check their page, make sure they have an acceptable amount of friends (No new pages). Check for mutual friends. Also, see if they have some public posts you can view. Click on a few pics, and go from there.
You’ve got 1 more day!
Today’s Motivational Monday Moment came to me late last night as I was trying to figure out what song I could post to motivate and inspire you today. The truth is that we all need to be motivated. I need motivation and inspiration today.
God has been working on me and I told you last week how he had convicted my spirit. He’s working on my behalf and there is truly a shift in the atmosphere. I once heard a Baptist preacher say “If the devil is not busy trying to wreak havoc in your life then he doesn’t view you as a threat.”
The devil is busy ya’ll. But, I give it all to God and I want to encourage you to do the same. See, when we lean on him and not on our own understanding it becomes clear that there are things beyond our power that are happening. God is working on the situation and he’s working on you. Let him work.
The song that I’ve chosen for you today is “Father Can You Hear Me Now?” from Tyler Perry’s movie “Diary of a Mad Black Woman”. Although this isn’t a gospel movie, many of Tyler Perry’s movie have an underlining gospel feel. They are meant to bring God to the mainstream through the movie and song.
The main characters have a “come to Jesus” moment and realize that they couldn’t do anything without God. That is the message, right? The fact that the Alpha and Omega is all you need and you can’t do it without him. It’s about making sure that you understand that we all need God. We’re ready for God to intercede on our behalf in our situation.
Here is a sampling of the lyrics:
Father can you hear me
We need your love today
I know that you are listening
You hear me everyday
Father please hear us
And we will be OK
Father we need you to heal families today
Here’s the song. Listen to the words and the melody and let me know in the comments do you feel something? Do you feel the spirit? Do you need the blood of the lamb? Let this music invades your spirit this Monday knowing that God is with you. He’s got you.
Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.