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Motivational Monday Moment – 12.10.18

I’m back with the Motivational Monday Moment. For my new readers, this is where I try to encourage you to keep pushing on despite your circumstances. Trust me – I’ve fallen victim to my own circumstances and have wallowed in the hells of despair only to be reminded that trouble don’t last always and that this right now is temporary.

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This last month has been hell. Chaos all around me that put me in a negative mind space. I was literally grasping at straws to keep from cursing and losing my dang mind. I was angry and although I had every right to be I was letting the chaos of the situation alter my core. I was keeping that anger inside and was ready to kick some butt.

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Until the 1st of December.

I had a session with my therapist who had been out of town for the last month and she centered my soul. She said to me that I need to ask God to give me peace in the situation. She reminded me that the Bible says…

Philippians 4:7 New Revised Standard Version (NRSV)

7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

She told me that God would give me peace but I needed to pray for myself. I needed to pray to God to give me peace. Wow! She was right. I was praying for everyone around me but not for me. I needed to pray for myself. And in her office that day she prayed over me and my spirit and God gave me peace. It was as though he had been waiting for me to come to him on behalf of myself.

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I surrendered my all and got peace in my spirit. This peace is helping me in the chaos of my life to stand and just let God be God. I can’t stop the chaos, but I can surrender to be peaceful. God is in control of it all.

That is my wish for you today. That you surrender to the peace and know that this season is only temporary. That the chaos will come but if you ask God for peace, I promise you that He will give it to you. What will you ask Him for today?

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page @mskeeinmd.

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Each Day

It gets easier to not see you

To not think of you

To wish away the smell of you

To not want to taste the sweetness of your lips

To not cry when I look at old photos of you

 

Each day it gets easier

To not want the love back

To escape the memories made

To not hold on to a love that has slipped away

 

Each day it gets easier

To remember that it is better to have almost tasted forever

than never have gotten close

 

Each day

Each day I sigh

Just one more day

One more hour

One more minute

and I will

be free

 

-Tikeetha Thomas ©

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page @mskeeinmd.

 

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Just Stand

Hello Loves! Long time with no hear or read. I’ve missed all of you and I can’t thank you enough for your checking in on me during my long hiatus away from this blog. So many things have happened to me and I’ll be sharing more about it in the coming weeks. It was crazy how many people found me on FaceBook or even reached out on Instagram and Twitter with concern. You just don’t know how wonderful you made me feel.

Nothing is wrong, I’m just juggling my hectic life and preparing for court next week. We’ll talk more about that later. But, what has been going on with me? So much has happened these last four months.  I had a woman on my staff pass away in September. She was an amazing woman who was a great staff member with an eagle eye for detail. I thanked God every day that I had inherited someone so detail oriented and knowledgeable with systems.

With her being gone, my team and I entered our busy season and tried to deal with the loss and get things done. I am happy to say that we did. My team is great and I’m thankful for all of them. Even when I’m not there they still get the job done.

Munch entered fifth grade this year. It is an adjustment because he now has 3 main teachers. His homeroom teacher teaches science to all 5th graders and social studies and health to Munch’s class. He has a math teacher that teaches math to all the 5th graders and a French teacher for oral and written communication and French reading. He’s struggling in math and French and I’ve put him in private tutoring. So, we are at the center 4 nights a week to make sure that he’s staying on level.  Do you know how hard that is?

French is crazy because the words that he is supposed to know at 10 have grown. Not just in French but in English. Many nights are spent going to dictionary.com to look up the word’s meaning and explaining it in English and then researching it in French. We’re trying to use it in a sentence to further his understanding and I feel so unprepared. Let’s just say that French this year has been hard work. However, with all that I’m proud that Munch is putting forth his best effort and I’m proud to report that he has earned a 3.4 for his 1st quarter. These teachers are so patient with me because I’m emailing every two weeks with questions, comments or concerns.

With so many things happening I still found time to grant write for the school’s PTA and just enjoy life. I’m still single which is crazy because I haven’t gone on one date since Mr. C and I broke up. I’m just not emotionally ready. Not that I’m still trying to get back with him it’s just that I have a lot going on and I’m not mentally ready to let another man in my space right now. It could be the cold weather too. LOL. I have no idea. But, I’ll be back on the dating scene in 2019.

I’m active in my sorority and just enjoying this thing called life. Christmas is in 20 days and I’m done shopping. Can you believe it? Munch still believes in Santa and I’m happy the magic continues one more year. I’ve reconnected with old friends and created new friends who have encouraged my soul beyond regard. My FaceBook friends and I actually met this summer. We had a ball.

Finally, I need to stand still. I’m learning to be more thoughtful and just stand in the midst of chaos and allow God to give me peace when all hell is breaking loose around me. 2018 has been one for the books, but I’m reflecting on how I’m approaching my 44th year next month and there are still so many things to do and so many things to say. I’m praying that the words will flow freely and I can let you into this brain that won’t shut off some nights. Bear with me.

How have you been old friend?

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page @mskeeinmd.

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Sex and the Pre-teen

In this motherhood journey I’m often caught between a rock and a hard place. I’m balancing what I should share with Munch and when. It’s a juggling act. Do I want to take away his innocence early or wait until later? I’m rambling about…the sex talk. I’m wondering, when is the appropriate age to talk about sex with your children?

I have a boy and for all intents and purposes he’s still pretty innocent. He turns off songs with bad words in them or inappropriate subjects. He still watches Disney Jr. and Nick Kids. He just recently started watching The Thundermans on Nickelodeon about a superhero family. I’m wondering if broaching sex now will change him somehow.

My mother never talked about sex with me. I learned at school in the sixth grade with all the other children. Not that I was thinking about sex or anything, but I had started my cycle before then so I had no idea what was happening to me. It was as though the sex talk was somehow taboo.

Children are growing up faster now than when I was a child and I don’t want Munch learning something from the kids at school or in the streets. I want to give him all the information to make informed decisions. I want to teach him how to love and cherish his body and to not treat sex as a rites of passage. It’s your body that is a temple that we should use to honor God.

But, I don’t want to be naïve and think that he may never do it, so I struggle with how much to tell him and when?

My best friend has a son one year older than mine and I asked her had she talked to him about sex? She said no. He’s not mentally ready yet. So, I’m wondering do we wait until our children are mentally ready to have the sex conversation or do we overload them with information now in hopes that they will choose to not engage in sexual activity until marriage?

Yes, Munch knows about his body and boundaries. I’ve made sure that he calls his genitalia by the proper terminology. I’ve explained that a doctor can only examine you with mommy and/or daddy in the room. He is now getting shy and embarrassed when a doctor has to examine his penis during his annual visits. However, is it too soon to have the sex talk?

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page @mskeeinmd.

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Motivational Monday Moment – 08.13.18

It’s been a few weeks since I did a Motivational Monday Moment. I hadn’t really felt like motivating anyone. Truthfully, some days I can’t even motivate myself. This funk is real. But, I keep moving. I keep trying to refocus and regain my strength. I am still going to work every day. Still mothering. Still organizing. Still planning. Just not really excited about anything. Ugh, so bear with me. My writing and posting will be sporadic until I can get back into it.

That being said, the summer has gone by quickly. I can’t believe it’s already August. It is hot here in Maryland. Between humidity and rain, it’s like I’m living in another country. There are very few good hair days. Ah, but I appreciate and am thankful for it all. My hair not so much. But, I continue to move forward. One foot in front of the other.

Recently, I’ve been going through some things. I’m trying to get back to my first love…writing, but many thoughts and emotions take up my ability to put pen to paper or my fingers to the keyboard. It’s like I’m drowning in my thoughts. I jot down topics. Things that I think you would want to hear from me, but I just can’t quite get my thoughts out. So, the days pass. Many days with no words written.

I’m committed to getting into a better headspace so bear with me. I ran across this post last week on my sorority sister’s Facebook page and I thought that I would use it to encourage you today because it’s where I’m at right now. I saw it as a sign that I’m not alone.

The truth is we’re not alone and even though I’m in this funk, I know that it will pass. That I will wake up one day and have so much more to say. We all get into a funk. But, we have to not stay in that funk permanently. We have to make a conscious effort to keep moving forward. To change our view. To change our perception on our situation.

So, you didn’t get that job or that promotion or you got declined for that house or new car. Keep your head up. Keep believing that things will happen when they are supposed to. Not when we want them to. Trust me, I’ve been there. I’ve seen friends broken by the trials and tribulations that they are going through only to get up and be better than they were yesterday.

They kept moving. They kept surviving. Even if you are holding on by a thread, know that this situation you may find yourself in is only temporary. You were meant to excel. You were meant to be a victor. You were meant for greatness. However, it doesn’t happen overnight. Sometimes we must experience failure only to appreciate the success of our situation even more.

My Motivational Monday Moment is to simply tell you that I understand. I know what you you’re going through. I respect the pain that you’re feeling. I respect the journey you’re on. I know that you want to give up, but you can’t. Trouble doesn’t last always. Joy does come in the morning. We have to be unmovable and continue to fight. Even when we don’t want too.

I love you. I appreciate you. I am thankful for each and every one of you. Happy Monday!

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page @mskeeinmd.

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I Love Corny

By now many of you have seen the comments by Houston rapper, Slim Thugg, last week about Ciara and her husband Russell Wilson’s relationship. Slim commented that “He’s just a corny dude, ain’t nothing wrong with it,” Thug says “I ain’t gonna say corny cause that’s hatin’ but he’s just like a square…I don’t believe a girl coming from a street dude could even adapt to that.” Don’t you love when people comment on your relationship like they are in it? Ugh!

I couldn’t believe that rappers are still going off of Ciara for living her happy black ass life. That’s what it is all about right? Living your life to the fullest. She’s happy. She’s married and he loves her. What’s the problem? I think what pissed me off about the comments is that many people, not just Slim Thugg, make these comments about women when their relationships end or they find happiness with someone who was nothing like the last man. That’s a good thing right? That should mean growth and lessons learned.

In many cases it does. We grow up. We evolve. We may not love the things we loved at one point. We love the ones that make us feel safe. A male friend of mine asked me after Mr. C and I broke up, “T, why did you think that you and Mr. C were going to make it?” It was an honest question as he has known me for many years and felt safe in saying he knows my type, but I was honestly hurt.

But I told him the truth. I said “Because I really felt like I deserved the good guy. The guy that makes me laugh. The guy that supports my dreams. The guy that loves me something awesome and misses me when I am away. The guy who provides. The guy who gives money so I can buy food platters at Munch’s birthday party. The guy who encourages me when I feel like I can’t go on.” That was the guy that I felt that I deserved.

He listened and said “Well, I never thought you would end up with him.” I just sighed and replied “Neither did he because we’re not together anymore”. But, it’s the insensitivity that some people don’t get when you fall in love with the person that makes you want to curse them out and scream “Mind your own damn business.”

I know Ciara was probably thinking this because hell I was thinking this when my friend said this, but I guess when you live your life in an open fashion people feel the need to comment or question. However, Slim Thugg doesn’t know what it is like to love the cornball, the good guy, the square dude. Let me tell you…

It’s absolutely freaking amazing!

You love the person that makes you want to wake up each day and be a better version of yourself than the day before. You love the person that believes in honesty and faithfulness. You love the person that is both compassionate and concerning. He wants only the best for you. There is no competition. There is only love and mutual respect.

I dated the bad guys. I’m looking to love and build with the good guys. So, if he’s out there and corny as hell by other’s standards…cool. I’m still going to be doing me and living my happy black ass life learning all about the corny man.

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page @mskeeinmd.

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Flowing with Purpose

I’ve missed ya’ll. I’ve been sort of wandering. Living my life this summer. Just enjoying this space that I’m in and just figuring some things out. I don’t have it all together. I don’t pretend to. Some days are better than others but I’m living my happy black ass life. LOL.

But, in doing that I came across this post yesterday by my other fellow blogger, Jay Thomas. Jay is an incredible blogger over at Relationships Etcetera, a relationship guru and an all around cool guy. He gives me a different way to think about things and I just really dig his vibe. He LOVES LOVE.

So as I was scrolling through Facebook yesterday and I saw Jay’s post and thought it was so profound. It was about love and purpose and going with the flow. This line stuck out to me…

Posted on August 8, 2018 at 8:00 a.m.

I like to flow with purpose.. not just flow and hope for the best.  When a man has purpose, he is focused. When there’s no purpose, his mind wanders.

It got me to thinking are we flowing with purpose while dating? I know that it’s been a while since I’ve dated. I mean I was attached to Mr. C for almost 3 years, but what made the difference between him and others was the fact that he dated with a purpose. He communicated that was his purpose and we engaged in a courtship. I respected that.

I met so many men during the dating process that literally would say stuff like “Oh, I don’t believe in titles.” “Let’s just see where this goes” or my favorite “Let’s just go with the flow”. These statements were frustrating and confusing as hell.

Everything has a title. You have a title to your car. I’m not forcing a relationship or rushing to exclusively date you, but I want to know if we are on the same page in the beginning.

Is it too much to ask to explain whether or not you date with a purpose to move towards a goal of becoming committed? If you want to just have sex with random people – it’s good – do you. I don’t judge. It’s not me though. I want to build something with someone. I want to have an authentic connection emotionally with someone that gets me. I want to know if we are flowing with a purpose.

We have to start being real and have genuine conversations with the people we meet. People shouldn’t have to figure out whether or not you see or want a future with them. I shouldn’t be the last woman standing after years that you then decide to date me exclusively. I’ll pass.

I don’t want that kind of man. I want a man like Jay describes…a man who has purpose. A man that is focused. I don’t want any more wanderers. Been there and done that.

I think that’s why at this point in my life that’s the river you’ll find me on. Lazily sitting back in my boat with my mojito in hand and my floppy hat cocked to the side . Just flowing downstream with a purpose. A purpose to find love and an authentic connection with a wonderful man. No dinghy’s or crabs allowed.

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page @mskeeinmd.

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Gifts of Gratefulness

I’ve been really going through it lately. Being introspective. Being in prayer. Being observant of the things and people around me.

I’ve had this writer’s block and I didn’t know what to say. This mood. This is a funk that I’m in. It’s been rough. But, in my funk I had an epiphany as to what I should write about…being grateful.

So, that’s what I decided to do. Write about what matters to me. The moments of gratitude that I have that never ever seem to diminish no matter what is going on around me.

One of the things that I’m most grateful for is Munch. He’s amazing. A few weeks ago, we had a packed weekend of activities including a paint night. He had been asking to attend and I was happy to oblige.

But, he’s also a ten year old who still gets upset about things. He acted out when he didn’t like his photo that he was painting and he wanted a whole new canvas. I was fit to be tied at his behavior.

I politely explained that is not how it works and it is supposed to be fun not stressful or perfect. He was not understanding. It made it worse when another parent said “I love your duck”. He replied with tears in his eyes “It’s not a duck it’s a dolphin.” She was awesome because she didn’t miss a beat and said “Oh, it is a dolphin, I’m sorry I couldn’t see because your mom’s arm was in my way.”

I smiled. Just like that. She made my son feel better. Mothers do that right? They sense the uneasiness in a child that may not be their own and they come in and try to soothe their spirit. I smiled and said “Thank you.” He sighed. He was still disappointed.

It was distressing to watch him unravel over a painting. I tried to comfort and talk to him. It wasn’t working. He asked to throw his picture away. I said no.

Later that evening when he was speaking to my mom she asked him how it went. He explained that he threw a tantrum because he was upset over his painting and how I was hurt at his behavior. She asked him what happened. They talked. I think he began to understand.

The next morning he apologized for his behavior. He said he loves me. He hugged and kissed me. I said “Okay”.

I know Munch is still young so he doesn’t understand the gratefulness of spending time alone with Mommy or being appreciative and accepting of his choices, but it didn’t make me love him any less. I was grateful for our one on one time. I was grateful for our mutual love for art. I was grateful for making memories. I was grateful for time.

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page @mskeeinmd.

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Motivational Monday Moment – 07.30.18

I’ve missed ya’ll. It’s been a minute since I last posted. I haven’t been in the mood to write. Not that I don’t miss you – because I do. It’s just that I’ve been feeling “meh”. In this weird mood. I’m processing a lot and just trying to get back into my writing groove. It’s an adjustment.

But, I wanted to encourage and motivate you this Monday. I wanted to give you glimpses of hope to continue your week. No matter what you’re going through, I wanted to lift your spirits and let you know that you can do this. In trying to keep that momentum going I wanted to leave you with these words…

Isn’t that awesome? See, I know how it is when we’re going through things and we feel like there is nothing we can do or no one we can turn to that will help us navigate the storms we’re facing. But, I’m here to remind you that the storm is over now. I am here for you.

You matter. You are loved and this is just the beginning. No matter what you’re going through know that you are not alone. No more trying to fake it till you make it. Your breakthrough is on the horizon. You will get through this difficult time.

Know that I’m praying for each and every one of you. I’m wishing you peace in your spirit because sometimes it takes just one of us to call out your name in prayer for the shift to begin. Can you feel it? The suffering is ending. The turmoil that you find yourself in is being resifted. You are coming through the storm.

Paddle your way to shore. I got you. You are loved. You are wanted. I’m so happy that you are here. Know that you matter.

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page @mskeeinmd.

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Motivational Monday Moment – 07.16.18

It’s Monday and I’m sitting here trying to figure out ways to motivate and encourage you this week and honestly I struggled. My mind is a little cloudy because I had too much rest this weekend. I wasn’t prepared for my motivational post and I felt stuck. Writer’s block was killing me. I couldn’t find the perfect quote to uplift your spirits this week, until a Google search revealed the perfect quote. This quote by R.G. Moon states “There’s something about a woman with a loud mind that sits in silence, smiling knowing she can crush you with the truth.”

Isn’t it perfect? I think this quote could apply to anyone (male or female), but have you ever been in a situation where someone was trying to destroy your character? To break down your image? Lying on you for the benefit of their own selfish gain? Nope? Well wait, you’re still young enough to have haters in your life and you might just get some.

Haters are like parasites. They latch on the good in you…your name, your image or anything positive about you and then try to manipulate people into believing that you are less than who you are. They are people who can’t for their own insecurities ever begin to comprehend your greatness.

Don’t worry about them. Because you know what? You are great! You are unstoppable. You can’t be moved by actions of the evil and wicked. You need to remain unbothered by their behavior.

You smile and keep living your best life. You disregard the games and mind manipulations of the wicked because God’s promises are real. Evil doers have no place in this world. It says so in His word:

Proverbs 24:19-20 New Living Translation (NLT)

19 Don’t fret because of evildoers;
    don’t envy the wicked.
20 For evil people have no future;
    the light of the wicked will be snuffed out.

Just keep focusing on God’s word and know that you will overcome. I’ve been there. I’ve had people attack me with their lies, manipulations and attempts to manifest issues that aren’t there. I just stand. I stand on truth. I stand on God’s promises. I just smile and reflect like it says in the quote: I can crush you with the truth.

That’s the message that I want to leave you with this Monday. My Motivational Monday Moment is simply to be encouraged and be still. God’s an awesome God and the evil doers in your life have no future. The truth about their lies and manipulation will come out. Your God is greater than the mess of miserable.

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page @mskeeinmd.