#blacklivesmatter black boys children lupus parenting

Chaos and Parenting

A couple of weeks ago my life was turned upside down when Munch’s dad was hospitalized the Friday before Father’s Day. His dad has lupus and a couple of other medical conditions and was going through a lupus flare and was admitted. Now, for the scary part. Munch has no idea of his dad’s health conditions. His dad never wanted him to know about his illness because he grew up with a sick parent and he thought the burden was too much for munch to carry. I however disagreed.

So, here we are on the 19th of June and I’m getting a call from munch’s dad that he has to be admitted. He then started to say something stupid like, “Well, I will call my cousin or my friend to get munch from school and keep him. I’m sure I will only be in the hospital overnight.” (Insert snarky remark here). Are you serious? I replied, “Why would you do that? He’ll just come back home to me and sleep in his own bed. He’ll be fine. Besides, since you won’t be able to make the Father’s Day presentation at his school, it will kill him if I’m not there either. “Okay” was his dad’s reply.

I let my boss know that I had to leave work early and head over to see my son’s performance at 4:45 for Father’s Day because his dad can’t make it. I tell her he’s hospitalized and now I’m a full-time mommy with a full-time mommy schedule for the foreseeable future. But, such is life!

I head over to the school later that afternoon to surprise munch and record his program for his dad. Now, it’s here where I will note that I had plans to Beer, Bourbon and BBQ that evening and thankfully my best friend agreed to keep my son for a few hours while I attended. I love my village!

I saw munch look around the cafeteria for his dad with tears in his eyes. I waved and smiled and gave him a big thumbs up and he waved back enthusiastically. This is why I came. To make sure that he knew that everything was alright. To keep his stress level at minimum.

Munch performed this cute poem for Father’s Day.


Note:  If you’re reading this on email, please click on the title of the link to see the video.

Munch did an awesome job and at the end he comes over inquiring about his dad. I explained that his dad wasn’t able to make it so he asked me to come instead. I asked him was it okay. He replied, “Yes mommy. Of course.” You see why I love this kid right?

The next morning, his dad calls me and says that he wasn’t being released from the hospital after all.


I told him that I was bringing munch to the hospital to visit him and we should talk to him about what’s going on. He said “I’m not ready.” I said, “We have too.” So, I told munch that his dad was in the hospital, but that he’s okay and we were going to see him. He said, “Okay mommy.”


We headed to the hospital so that munch can see his dad. His dad wasn’t in his room because they had taken him down for tests. They directed us to the waiting room. Munch asks the nurse, “Is my daddy dead?” The nurse looked shocked but replied, “No sweetie. He’ll be back soon.” Munch sighed and we sat and waited.


Almost an hour of waiting and munch was getting restless. He wanted to see his dad. Finally, we see his dad being pushed in the gurney down the hall and munch has the most pitiful look on his face. We go into his dad’s room and munch starts crying, “Daddy, are you going to die?” His dad looked at me and responded, “Not anytime soon munch.” Munch took off his shoes and climbed into bed with his dad.

We sat and visited and I dozed off in a chair. Munch wrapped his arms around his dad and closed his eyes. After a few hours we were getting ready to leave. I had to fix munch dinner and get him bathed and in bed. Munch started crying and said he wasn’t ready to leave. “Okay” I replied. We stayed a little while longer. His dad asked, “Munch why are you staying? Is it because you want to or is it because you think something is going to happen to me?” Munch started crying. “It’s because I think you’re going to die if I’m not here” he replied. My heart broke.

We tried to explain that his dad would be fine and we would return tomorrow on Father’s Day and spend the entire day with his dad. He was reluctant, but we finally left. We got ten feet out the door and more waterworks. We turned around and he hugged and kissed his dad some more. I was emotionally drained and worried about my baby.

We get in the car and munch says, “Mommy, you promise you will bring me back tomorrow.” I replied, “I promise.” He sighed, “This is the worse day of my life.” I said, “Baby, you’re 7 you will have many more rough days ahead. How about we stop at Sweet Frog before going home?” He said, “That would actually make me feel better.”


Ah, the joys of parenting!


  1. Aw I’m sorry to hear about Munch’s dad’s condition. My best friend’s mom is being treated for lupus now and I know it’s not an easy thing to deal with. We did a lupus walk to raise money last year – I hope they find some effective treatments! Stay strong for Munch!

    Liked by 1 person

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