Last week I was reading to Mr. C what I need when I say quality time in the 5 Love Languages book. There’s a couple of paragraphs about the Babbling Brook (one that talks all the time) and the Dead Sea (the one that rarely talks) and how they usually end up together and in the dating stage both really like each other. Why? Because the Dead Sea doesn’t talk and the Babbling Brook talks a lot.
Well, I’m the Babbling Brook folks. I’m in love with a Dead Sea kind of man. I told him that it makes sense because one of his requirements for women is that she talked more than him. He doesn’t really like to talk. He’s more introspective and definitely an introvert. This proves so frustrating now that we’re in a relationship.
Why? Because I need him to share. I need him to be more open and let me in. He’s a pretty good listener, but he’s like most men who don’t give much away. So, we sit on the phone and I will allow moments to past without speaking. Why? I’m trying to get this man to speak up.
Sometimes it works. Other times it doesn’t. When it doesn’t there are moments of silence. He thinks I’m pre-occupied. I want to engage him and encourage him to share. I told him that I need him to share more and he asked “So, you think I have a problem communicating?” I responded “No, I think you’re like most men where you have a problem sharing. I want to know you. What was your worst experience as a child? What was your best experience as a child.”
It’s a work in progress. He says he lived a boring life in comparison to mine. He grew up in a two parent home. I grew up in a single parent home. He’s the youngest of 4. I’m the oldest of 3. There are differences, but I think that makes it more interesting. I just want to find out more.
So, I’m going to slow down my mouth (the babbling brook that it is) and allow him to talk more. Encourage him to do so. Now, I just need to find some topics.