2018 advice black boys children parenting relationships

Your Shoes are Fake

I sat there stunned thinking about all the times that I’ve heard the saying that “women can’t raise boys because they can’t teach boys how to be men”. Today I wondered was there any truth to it. I mean Munch and I are really close and I know he’s still innocent, but would I be able to navigate him through the trials of life when he comes to me with a situation? I honestly felt inadequate at that moment.

I thanked God for the opportunity to love and raise this little boy and for all the men in my life that I call friends to help me navigate unknown territory because it was them that I called on for advice. So, here’s what happened…Munch’s feet are growing like crazy. He’s gone from a kids size 7 shoe into a men’s 9 shoe in one years time. Honestly, he only has a little room in the 9 and he’ll be off into a 9 1/2 shoe probably by the end of summer. I wasn’t ready.

He’s 10. He hasn’t gone through puberty yet. Do you know how much men’s shoes cost? I have always believed that my son should have nice clothes and shoes. It was something that I felt was required because he should always be presentable. That said he will always have name brand tennis shoes. I prefer Nike, but will buy a nice running shoe as he’s hard on his tennis shoes as evident in his daily playground time.

We went to the store last weekend and I had him try on tennis shoes to find the ones he liked. Munch hates tying his shoe laces and so we found a great pair of Jordan’s with no laces. Perfect for the remainder of school and through the summer. He hated shoe shopping and we wrapped it up and headed home.

He was excited to wear his new shoes to school on Monday and off he went. But, on Tuesday when I picked him up he asked me “Mommy, are my shoes fake?” I was stunned. Munch knows nothing of name brand shoes. I had gotten his shoes on sale at Foot Locker and stores don’t sell fake shoes. I responded “No baby, why would you ask me that?” He began to tell me how a girl at school had told him that his shoes are fake and that they aren’t real. He said that she told another little boy and they were saying the same thing. He said she told me to take off my shoes so she can see them.

I was livid. I calmed myself and explained this one rule…never take off your shoes. That’s how someone can steal your shoes. I told him to ignore her. To tell her that your mom doesn’t buy you fake stuff and to mind her business. But, I wondered was it enough? Was I equipping my son with the sharp witted skills required to respond to ignorance?

I called three male friends who are parents and asked for their advice. I needed help. What am I supposed to do to encourage my Munch?

-To Be Continued-

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page @mskeeinmd.


  1. “Never take off your shoes. That’s how someone can steal your shoes.” – That is some great advice! It is so easy to forget something like that.

    Kids can be so cruel and unfortunately we live in that kind of world. Whether they were ‘fake’ or not, doesn’t mean you care for your son any less, and if anything at least he has some shoes on his feet and he loves them. Being a brand is like a bonus. Although, I totally get it, I buy expensive shoes for my kids because they last longer. I know people who still wear their Converse from 10 years ago so I totally get it. I look forward to hearing what your friends say. Any good advice is worth a try and passing on :). Hope Munch is okay and not too downhearted about what them children say.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I think you did well. That’s exactly what we tell our boys, when there’s a kid saying stuff like that then. Look them dead in the eye, tell the punk, “Whatever!”, smirk at them, then ignore them. They want to get a rise of you by saying that kinda stuff. Don’t give them the satisfaction.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Omg that’s horrible. At 10 no less. I truly believe that they would have tried to steal the shoes too which is just as disgusting. Can’t kids just grow up being kids anymore?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. *sigh* I hate hearing this. As a high school teacher, it pains me to see this behavior. Kids are SO MEAN sometimes. Keep praying mama. And I think you were right to reach out to some of your male friends for perspective. It takes a village for everyone.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Having male friends and family members who are good role models and can counsel him are definitely a good tactic. Boys and girls go through completely different routes in puberty. I was surprised and appalled to hear some of the stories from my boyfriend in college, and likewise, he was surprised to hear mine.

    Still, I think I would be more equipped to raise a son than a daughter. I was always with the boys and would be the mum taking him hiking and cheering on his soccer team. I cannot imagine myself teaching makeup and fashion when I know nothing about these myself 😂

    Liked by 1 person

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