A Force to Be Reckoned With

It’s a new year. It’s time for a new you. Not literally a new you, but you must revamp and revise who you are for 2018. You’ve got to have gone through some things that have enlightened you in 2017. What did you learn? Can you now take that lesson learned and apply it in 2018?

I’m setting some basic goals for me with regards to this year. I want more experiences, to create more memories, to take more photos and to grow both personally and professionally. I am grabbing the bulls by the horn and proclaiming that 2018 will be my year. The year that I will own my voice.

We all have a voice. I have a voice. You have a voice. You must be a force to be reckoned with. It’s time to get serious about you. The real you. The you that cries at stupid commercials. The you that actually loves romantic comedies. The you who realized that you made a mistake by ending the relationship with the last person you dated.

that’s the you that it’s time to reckon with. It’s okay to have made mistakes, we’ve all done things we wish we hadn’t. But, you can’t stay buried in the pain or in the poison of your misfortune. Own it and move forward. There’s no right or wrong way to live your life. You just have to be determined and unmovable in your goals and desires to elevate yourself. Get off your butt and put one foot in front of the other. Whether physically, emotionally or spiritually it is time to move.

Be courageous. Be determined. Be you.

Be blessed loves!

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

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43 Life Lessons

Today is my birthday. My 43rd to be exact. I’m ecstatic. I’ve lived to see another year. I’m so blessed. Life hasn’t always been easy, but I’m a firm believer that there is a lesson in the midst of chaos. I’ve learned a lot over the years. So, I want to share with you the 43 life lessons that I’ve learned along the way:

  1. Life isn’t fair.
  2. Show up and show out.
  3. Be intentional.
  4. Love like there’s no tomorrow.
  5. Forgive yourself.
  6. Forgive others.
  7. Love yourself truly, madly and deeply.
  8. Believe.
  9. Have hope.
  10. Have faith.
  11. Make better choices.
  12. Leave if you want too.
  13. Leave if you need too.
  14. Choose you.
  15. Choose happiness.
  16. Release negative people.
  17. Release negative thoughts.
  18. Trust again.
  19. Get therapy.
  20. Set goals.
  21. Achieve your goals.
  22. Meditate.
  23. Protect your brand/name.
  24. Love again.
  25. Tell people you love them.
  26. Own your truth.
  27. Travel.
  28. Drink wine.
  29. Love what you do.
  30. Journal.
  31. Be willing to change.
  32. Pray.
  33. Take plenty of pictures.
  34. Smile often.
  35. Get a yearly check-up.
  36. Exercise occasionally. LOL.
  37. Drink water.
  38. Do what you love.
  39. Find your purpose.
  40. Write your own rules.
  41. Re-write your rules if you feel like it.
  42. Give freely.
  43. Dream often and in color.

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

The Issue of the Ring

Last week while I was taking my amazing break (thank you to my guest bloggers) there was a video with a picture going around about a sale that Kay Jeweler’s was having for a ring that cost $24.99. The video that was accompanying the photo said that apparently everybody on this gentleman’s timeline had gotten engaged with this particular ring that cost $24.99. I’ve attached a picture of the ring for you to see.

The Issue

Whether or not a woman should accept a $25.00 engagement ring. If the woman did accept it, she should just be happy that someone wanted to marry her. If she wouldn’t accept it, she was called everything under the sun including: a gold digger, hoe, shallow, miserable, bitter, will never have a man and can’t get a man…all because she refused to accept a $25 engagement ring.

My Take

Mr. C and I had a lengthy discussion about this the other night and it got kinda heated. Primarily because I simply told him that I wouldn’t accept a $25.00 engagement ring. I explained to him that an engagement ring symbolized a man’s commitment and promise to marry you. A man marries for particular reasons: not wanting to die alone, procreation, increased wealth, financial benefits (think tax breaks), love and happiness.

That being said, does a man believe that is worth $25.00. If that is the best that he can do, then why is he marrying you? I’m in my 40’s and I’m a firm believer that we don’t get in relationships to struggle and try to build up people in our 40’s. A man should be built up by the time he’s 40. Can he have setbacks? Absolutely, anyone can, but I’m not dating someone in a broke stage. Get yourself to a better stage where you can afford to date me.

That being said, in the past engagement rings were given as a symbol of a future promise to the world that the woman was betrothed to another man. He put a ring on it. He removed her from the proverbial market. She was his. He was hers.

Fast forward to today’s standard and the ring debate is out of control. Engagement rings are optional for some and required for others. However, if you should choose to marry a woman and propose with an engagement ring, wouldn’t it ring true that you would know the woman that you are marrying? That you know her taste. You know what she would love.

When I first started dating Mr. C a couple of years ago, I sent him a picture of the ring that I had designed for my next engagement. Was it forward? Probably. But, I did it with a purpose. The purpose was to show him my expected standard of the promise of marriage.

Here’s what the ring looked like:

Ring 1

Ring 2

The price tag was $14,358.51. Mr. C was floored. I laughed and said that we could go to the Diamond District in NYC and get it made for about $8,500. He didn’t say anything. Fast forward to earlier this year and he asked me “Do you think it’s fair that I spend $8,500 on an engagement ring and I have college tuition to pay for my son?” I responded “You could finance it.” LOL.

But, I was serious. Later this year we had a genuine conversation and he stated that he wasn’t going to spend $8,500 on the ring. He gave me a number and we haggled over the price and I think we settled into a good number. I honestly can’t remember. It really doesn’t matter because we have time.

It’s not the cost of the ring in our case. It’s the expectation that you will marry me and I told him that I was fine with a diamond band and no engagement ring. Been there done that. But, a ring whether an engagement ring or band is the promise of his commitment to provide for me and our family. If he can’t afford to provide, then why should we marry?

Now, before you think that I’m a gold digger understand that love doesn’t pay the bills. Tell me what bill you can pay with love. Being broke isn’t cute. I’m not about struggle love or poverty penis. Love is an emotion and not a tangible piece of currency.  I like this quote by Bougie Black Girl on her FaceBook page:

Love doesn’t pay for diapers
Love doesn’t pay for gas
Love doesn’t pay the rent or mortgage
Love doesn’t buy food
Love doesn’t put clothes on a child’s back.
Love doesn’t keep your lights on.
Love doesn’t pay for childcare.
Love doesn’t pay for doctor visits
Love doesn’t fix a flat tire or repair an engine.
Money does.
Love brings people together. Money makes sure a marital union is financially secure. Money creates a legacy and passes down multi-generational wealth. Stop demanding Black women to settle when Black men and everyone else won’t.

We need to stop believing that we can’t have expectations for better. My ex-husband and I were young and in our 20’s when we got married. He still got me an engagement ring that cost $2,500 and he was only making $35,000 at the time. That was .07% of his annual salary before take home. We were poor. We were young. However, he was determined to get me the ring that he knew that I loved.

So, if he could do that in our 20’s why would it be acceptable for someone to think a woman should be happy with a $25 engagement ring. I spend more than $25.00 to fill up my gas tank. Many of us are walking around with shoes that cost more than $25.00. If you can spend more than $25.00 to get into a club, pay for drinks, on tennis shoes, on tint for your car or for your clothes, why shouldn’t I require more for a commitment on my finger?

Talk to me. What’s your take? Would you marry someone who proposed with you with a $25.00 ring? Why or why not?

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

 

Monday Notes: Men

Great post on dating and relationships and what we women do when it comes to men. Please check out this awesome post by KE and her website: KE Garland I promise you’ll love her blog.

K E Garland

img_2774I have a lot of thoughts. Conversations occur. People ask for advice. People share things about their lives. I overthink the conversation, advice, or experience, and voila! A thought occurs. So, I jot it down in my notes section in hopes of writing about it on a future date. I have 221 notes on my phone. I figured the future is now lol. Here’s my first one:

I’ve listened to how my male friends talk about women and how they interact with them. I also listen to and observe how women interact with men. Sometimes it’s different.

Men don’t treat every woman like she’s their future wife. They don’t treat every relationship like there’s an impending wedding. Men seem to know which women are so-called “wife material” and which ones are not ready to commit. Consequently, they seem to treat each “type” of woman accordingly. Now, I’m not saying this…

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Merry Christmas To You All!

Merry Christmas to each and every one of you! I’m sorry for the late post, but I really just got up. Munch woke me up for the first time super early and I was exhausted. We played. He opened gifts and we laid down together to watch a movie and fell back to sleep.

It was great. We’re cooking dinner and playing with his new toys waiting on the rest of the family to arrive. It is the greatest time of the year.  There’s nothing more perfect than being with family and friends this day. Being with the people that love and support you and remind you that you are loved. It’s one of my favorite things.

So, I encourage you to remember that. You are loved. You are blessed and you are needed. Remember that it is not about the gifts, but the fellowship with family because the real reason for the season is Jesus.

As you may recall, I’m taking a blogging break until January 2nd. I am going to be checking in and reading your posts to get back in the habit. But, I’m officially off until the new year. I am spending time with Munch.

In my absence, I will be sharing wonderful posts by some great bloggers. Please check them out. They are amazing and each and every one of them would love to hear from you. Share their posts, comment and follow. Be brilliantly engaged!

Okay, that’s it. Munch is staring me down. He’s actually waiting for me to finish up this post because he wants me to help him put his toy together and play. I have an incredible boy that reminds me how blessed I am. Let me go and play with my son. I love you all. I wish you the Merriest of Christmases!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year 2017

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Random Rumblings – 12.20.17

Good morning loves!

Happy Wednesday to all of you wonderful people.  I apologize for my absence. I’ve really had a lot going on both personally and professionally and truthfully, I’m exhausted. Both mentally and physically. That exhaustion has really drained me from being an active participant on my own site. For that I humbly apologize.

But, I love and miss you all dearly.  So, I felt that at least I owed you some updates, right? Well, here goes:

Munch Mania

Munch has been doing awesome. He made honor roll for the first quarter and he’s adjusting to fourth grade like a champ. I’m so proud of this young man. I can’t say that enough. Even when he frustrates me, nothing can stop my love for the child I gave life too.

His Christmas list has been robust. LOL. He actually circled $1,500 worth of items in the Toys R’ Us catalog. Umm, yeah. He’s not getting that. But, it was fun watching him. He’ll be happy. He was a good kid this year. Here’s his school photo.

Wreaths Across America

I laid wreaths with my sorority sisters on Saturday, December 16th. It was a wonderful day in DC with no rain, clear skies and a cool 50 degrees. We loved it. Thank you for sharing my posts about donations. Although it was my first year soliciting donations for Wreaths Across America, it won’t be my last. The cemetery has 14,000 grave sites and would love to be able to provide wreaths for all of them. Currently we are at less than 6,000. I’m going to keep pushing on. Here are some photos.

There was some fun

I had some fun too. I attended great parties with my sorority sisters over the last couple of weeks and we welcomed seven new women into our sorority earlier this month. Hanging with my sisters was an incredible opportunity for me to just let my hair down and have some fun plus it was my Zetaversary on December 3rd.  One year down and a lifetime to go.

Co-parenting is a goal, but it ain’t reality

I need to make some changes in 2018 specifically with regards to trying to co-parent with my ex.  It’s draining and I’m tired. T-I-R-E-D. Tired of the back and forth and tired of the frustrations with simple stuff. I’ve tried to have a positive attitude and perspective, but I swear that it seems that the more positive and unbothered I become the worse the situation is getting. I’ve read everything that I can about co-parenting and it seems like a fairytale. Like who are these people? What happened? How did you get from hell to a halfway point in your co-parenting relationship? My goal is still to try to co-parent the best I can in spite of, but I know that it’s not my reality. Maybe 2018 will be better. Please pray for us.

That’s about it everyone. All the updates I can spare at the moment. I’m looking forward to my break and spending time with Munch. I have a week long list of activities that I’m planning for us and hopefully we will be creating memories that will last a lifetime.

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

 

Motivational Monday Moment – 12.04.17

It’s December. The last month for 2017. This is the first Monday in December 2017 and I was struggling to find words to motivate and encourage. Pardon my delay. I struggled with finding something that would be so helpful that you would feel an instant spark of recognition and satisfaction over whatever you are going through.

It never came. LOL. But, I was inspired by this quote:

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Ya’ll know I loved Maya Angelou. She was one of my favorite authors and an inspiration to women everywhere. So, reading the words “If you get, give. If you learn, teach” spoke to me. I didn’t even know that is what she said, but how true is that?

It’s the truth. I’m telling you that we are called to give our best and to help our fellow man. It doesn’t have to be a big all out look at me helping you with your situation. It could be a pay it forward item, teaching someone how to do something they feel ill equipped to do, or sharing your story.

It is the season of giving. We should always try to give. Whatever you can. It doesn’t have to be expensive. Give because you want to. Your time, your money or your creativity. Be helpful to those around you. I give my time, talent and money. I’m not rich, not hardly. I just want to be a blessing to those because God has blessed me. Can you give?

It’s not just financial, but it is also important that you pass on knowledge. Have you ever worked in an organization and someone didn’t want to train you? They were threatened by you? They felt as though you were going to take their job so they didn’t engage or offer to teach you anything. They were being sloppy.

It’s true. But, no matter what you are supposed to teach what you learn. Knowledge is supposed to be shared. By sharing what you’ve learned you are helping others and isn’t that what life is about? Sharing knowledge.

So, my Monday Motivational Moment is to encourage you to be a blessing and give and share as freely as you breathe. To do as Maya says If you get, give. If you learn, teach”. Be the blessing that I know you can be.

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.