2016 black boys black son children music parenting relationships

I’m A Rockstar – Not!

Munch had his guitar lesson this weekend. To say that it was good would be to lie to you my dear friend. It was awful. I was stressed out with his lack of attention and wanted to scream “F**k it, let’s go!”

But, I didn’t. I sat through the most excruciating 40 minutes of my life. I mean it truly was worse than labor.


Because my dang Munch acted a monkey fool. Β He refused to hold the guitar correctly. He didn’t know how to hold the pick. He seemed so uninterested. It drove me crazy. Never mind the fact that he said he wanted to play the dang guitar.

He slouched in the chair. Refused to follow the instructor and just seemed to give up. But, the worst part of this…he liked the lesson and wants to continue it.

I couldn’t believe it. I was so upset and confused. I asked him “Why Munch? You seemed to not ask questions and just sit there when the instructor talked to you.” He responded, “I didn’t understand what he was asking.” I asked him “Why didn’t you ask him to repeat it or tell him that you didn’t understand?” Guess what my Munch says?

Because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings.

I slapped my forehead and said “What? You didn’t want to hurt his feelings?” He replied “Yes”. Β I explained to my budding rock star that he isn’t hurting anyone’s feelings by not asking questions. That is the key to life. Speak up when you don’t know something or you’re confused. Don’t ever just sit there and let them talk over you, especially when I’m paying for it.

I called Mr. C in frustration and he calmed me down. He was with his son who is 17 and plays the trumpet and he asked his son about the guitar. His son said that the guitar is a hard instrument and most children start off with the violin, flute or piccolo. Mr. C said, “See, it’s a hard instrument to learn. Just calm down and ask him does he want to take guitar lessons.”

Now, let me explain. I wasn’t expecting him to be the next Lenny Kravitz or anything. I just wanted him to show interest. I wanted him to be exceptionally astute during the lesson and just really decide if this is something he wanted to do or not. However, that wasn’t the case.

I was livid. I also didn’t know how I felt about the teacher. He was sort of young. In his 30’s. I don’t know if he had enough practice with children (especially those with no prior music experience). He kept calling him kid. He wasn’t really interested in warming up to Munch only showing him what to do.

I don’t know. This whole experience left me feeling weird. I want my son to do it if he wants. Mr. C suggested that I start off with our local parks and recreation and let him take music lessons there first. Mainly because he thinks it will be easier with other kids and less stress. I agreed.

He also suggested since Munch is ambidextrous that we take him to a guitar store and let him see whether or not the left or right guitar works better for him. He has truly calmed me down. I kissed Munch telling him that I love him and we will continue lessons if that is what he wants. He said yes.

That being said, I registered him for guitar classes through my local parks and recreation center and classes are weekly on Monday nights for an hour starting on September 12th. We’ll go to the guitar store in the next couple ofΒ weeks and figure out a guitar for him. I may rent it to see if he likes it and to confirm if he wants to play the electric (like he said or the acoustic). I’m optimistic that he’ll enjoy the lessons, or at least I hope so.

I’ll keep you posted.


  1. Thanks for sharing your story. As someone who has taught guitar for over a decade, I will say you are not alone. In that time, I have found that the whole model of weekly half-hour lessons isn’t the most effective way to learn. This is what I have come up with, awesomeguitarforkids.com, and I use it with my students and my two school-aged boys. Maybe, it would be helpful for you too. Best of luck, and feel free to shoot any questions my way . I have seen it all πŸ™‚ (ckjorness@gmail.com)


  2. How cute is that? He didn’t want to hurt his feelings. I think that’s awesome that he’s very empathetic. But I do get your frustration, especially when you’re paying for it. I believe it’s very important to have a teacher that connects to the kids. There’s no point enrolling kids somewhere when the teacher is so aloof and doesn’t make an effort to connect to the child. I remember back in school the subjects I most excelled in where with teachers who were super awesome and fun and who made us feel very special. They have the “it” factor. Hopefully the lessons in September will have better results πŸ˜€

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I would be the same . I want to see my daughter getting something from whatever she decides she wants to learn. Sometimes we have to make a judgment call. I think the park and playing the guitar sounds like way more fun than being cooped up in a boring room. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Shame, I feel your frustrations, but it seems you are on the right track now. I think the most important thing is that Munch just has fun with the guitar, and let him steer the way. Music is so good for kids, and wanting to play an instrument really is so good. My husband has played guitar most of his life, had a band and is currently in one. Guitar/music is his life, it is his passion, and it all started off as a kid, just having fun. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you Lynne. I am going to step back, buy him a guitar and let him lead it. I want him to have fun and there is no pressure for him to be anything other than who he is. I am just excited that he wants to try different things.

      Liked by 1 person

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