Sticks and Stones

By now, many of you have heard about that horrible elevator scene between Solange (Beyonce’s sister) and Jay-Z.  This video which was released by TMZ is disturbing in its entirety because it shows an assault on a man.  Now, I know many of you may be saying, “We don’t know what Jay said to her prior to the elevator attack.” Does it matter?  Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt.  Isn’t this what we teach our children? 

Violence is never the answer.  We have to stop thinking that putting your hands on someone else will result in a positive outcome.  What have we learned from the elevator scene?  That the parties involved will be embarrassed by this outcome for their rest of their lives?  That a woman can put her hands on a man and not be charged? That a woman won’t defend her husband? Too many more to add, but the fact of the matter is that as a woman raising a son, I don’t condone violence.  I will never support my son hitting a woman and I will never allow a woman to put her hands on my son without the full law behind me to destroy every fabric of her being.  #breathe #woosaw

and I digress…

I am outraged that as a country we would applaud, laugh or indulge in the fact that Solange had a right to hit Jay-Z.  No one has a right to put their hands on you.  The question I would ask is had he hit her back would we have blamed him?  Does a man have a right to defend himself when attacked?  No.  But, what do you tell your sons when you know that 40% of men are victims of domestic violence from women?  Keep holding her back? Don’t hit back?  Restrain her but you’re stronger? Yes, but when will we teach our young women to stop raising their hands?  When will we teach them that violence begets violence?  

Solange is a mother to a son.  What if a woman had attacked her son, Daniel, liked she attacked Jay-Z?  Would she defend the woman’s rights to put her hands on her son? Would she cry out for charges to be pressed?  Argue that we need reform against men who are victims of domestic violence? Possibly.  

At the least, she needs to acknowledge her negative behavior and publicly apologize to those of us who thought of her as a beautiful role model to young women.  We should expect nothing less because we would expect a man to do the same.  There is no shame in admitting that what you did was wrong.  You have to teach children, that violence never solves anything and I am incredibly remorseful for my actions.

Let’s not let the video be the last word for her character.  She is better than that.

And in case you’ve been living under a rock and hadn’t seen the video, it is posted here: