Beywagon

Okay, so let me start off by saying that I truly love and respect Beyonce as an artist. She’s talented, beautiful and just an incredible representation of a woman with class. Now, I don’t think I’m part of the #beyhive or anything, but I am a fan. Not a diehard, I would spend my baby’s after care money to go see her in concert fan, but a fan who can watch and observe from the sidelines.

That being said…during my time of transition, I’ve gone through a metamorphisis and I realized that Beyonce has songs that really speak to where I’ve been, where I’m going and where I’m at. This is real here folks, I’m baring my soul so please don’t judge me.

Here are the four songs that speak to my life:

Crazy in Love

Believe it or not, I was crazy in love. I was his ride or die. I was the chick that always had his back until we had a child. I couldn’t seem to balance being his everything and being a mother. I went from being crazy in love to just being crazy in the end. But, in the beginning it was fire! Fire that burned out of control and caused an inferno.

 

I’m Scared of Lonely

Right after it ended and I was laying on the floor wanting to find peace in chaos it was this song that spoke to me. Beyonce sang “And I’m scared of being the only shadow along the wall and I’m scared hearing the only heartbeat I hear beating is my own and I’m scared being alone.” Yep, I was in it. Wallowing, self-pity, heartbreak and pain. Trying to breathe. Realizing that I am alone.

 

Love a Woman – (Okay Not All Bey, but fabulous nonetheless) Mary J Blige featuring Beyonce

But, after I got up off that floor realizing that it is going to be okay, I needed something to keep me motivated. It was this song that spoke life into me.  Mary sang “If you think you know how to love a woman, I feel there are some things you still need to know…”

Yep, I was there like “Sang it ladies”! (As she lifts her wine glass with tears in her eyes) Dang, I was going through it.

 

I Was Here

Now, isn’t that what it’s all about? Getting to the point of accepting your new reality? Realizing that what doesn’t kill you will make you stronger? Understanding that pain is a part of life and that you must go through some things to gain clarity on who you are as a person. Beyonce sang, “I was here. I lived, I loved. I was here.” No, there was no happy ending for me, but I loved. Truly. Completely. I’m a better person for my experiences. I’m stronger than I knew I could be.

 

So, there you have it folks. Sometimes you will go through situations where you see no way out and they are seemingly hopeless, volatile and unmanageable, but I tell you from experience…breathe and know that it will get better. The hardest and darkest days are seemingly while you are going through your storm, but there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Get to the end of it because I promise it will get better.

Sticks and Stones

By now, many of you have heard about that horrible elevator scene between Solange (Beyonce’s sister) and Jay-Z.  This video which was released by TMZ is disturbing in its entirety because it shows an assault on a man.  Now, I know many of you may be saying, “We don’t know what Jay said to her prior to the elevator attack.” Does it matter?  Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt.  Isn’t this what we teach our children? 


Violence is never the answer.  We have to stop thinking that putting your hands on someone else will result in a positive outcome.  What have we learned from the elevator scene?  That the parties involved will be embarrassed by this outcome for their rest of their lives?  That a woman can put her hands on a man and not be charged? That a woman won’t defend her husband? Too many more to add, but the fact of the matter is that as a woman raising a son, I don’t condone violence.  I will never support my son hitting a woman and I will never allow a woman to put her hands on my son without the full law behind me to destroy every fabric of her being.  #breathe #woosaw

and I digress…

I am outraged that as a country we would applaud, laugh or indulge in the fact that Solange had a right to hit Jay-Z.  No one has a right to put their hands on you.  The question I would ask is had he hit her back would we have blamed him?  Does a man have a right to defend himself when attacked?  No.  But, what do you tell your sons when you know that 40% of men are victims of domestic violence from women?  Keep holding her back? Don’t hit back?  Restrain her but you’re stronger? Yes, but when will we teach our young women to stop raising their hands?  When will we teach them that violence begets violence?  

Solange is a mother to a son.  What if a woman had attacked her son, Daniel, liked she attacked Jay-Z?  Would she defend the woman’s rights to put her hands on her son? Would she cry out for charges to be pressed?  Argue that we need reform against men who are victims of domestic violence? Possibly.  

At the least, she needs to acknowledge her negative behavior and publicly apologize to those of us who thought of her as a beautiful role model to young women.  We should expect nothing less because we would expect a man to do the same.  There is no shame in admitting that what you did was wrong.  You have to teach children, that violence never solves anything and I am incredibly remorseful for my actions.

Let’s not let the video be the last word for her character.  She is better than that.

And in case you’ve been living under a rock and hadn’t seen the video, it is posted here: