Apparently, dating has changed in the 14 plus years since I entered the realm. I wasn’t really a dater prior to my marriage, but I definitely think I can pass now that I’m at the end of it. I don’t like dating. But, apparently a lot of men don’t either. What ever happened to chivalry, manners and just plain respecting women when asking them out? I have heard it all:
-When can you and I hook up?
-When can I come over?
-When can I see you?
-Are you available anytime?
My responses have been as such:
-Are you asking me on a date or for something inappropriate?
-Never. I don’t invite strange men to a home that I share with my child.
-Are you asking me on a date? Give me a couple of dates, times and locations and we can make a plan to meet.
-Nope, I’m a mother and my son is my first priority. Again, provide a couple of dates, times and locations and we can try and get together.
When sharing my frustrations with my girls, I realized that I’m not alone. A lot of women are frustrated with the lack of just plain common sense when it comes to dating. They don’t know how to ask you on a date and they assume that a couple of meals means sex. Umm, no. One of my girlfriends posted this to my Facebook page the other day:
How appropriate and right on time right? Just this weekend a gentleman asked me “When can I see you?” I responded, “Are you asking me on a date? Be direct and pick a couple of dates and locations and then I can respond.” He said, “Okay”. However, when we talked later his response was maybe Friday or Saturday. I don’t want to make plans and then something comes up and we have to cancel. I responded…”Okay, I hear you and that’s fine. However, I will say this…if I should make plans with someone else on either days and you call me the day of, the answer will be no. You snooze you loose.” He said, “Okay, I understand. I will call you later on this evening and set something up.”
He never called and it didn’t bother me, it just reminded me of something that I always say. I have morals. I have values and I am not like other women you may encounter. I don’t do hook-ups and I don’t mind paying for my own meal if things don’t work out. I know who I am and I know my worth. I want friendship and humor. Nothing more, nothing less. I am not willing to accept anything I don’t deem valuable. So, if you should encounter me on this road and we travel for a moment and you don’t seem to be riding next to me, I will politely say, “Thank you for the time we have spent traveling on this road, but I’m going to exit to the right while you go left. Peace.” Simple, but accurate because in the end, this post describes me perfectly…