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A Great Man

Our life’s journey is about the people that touch us – Stuart Scott

I’m not a sports fan. I don’t get into sports. But I’ve always been around sports. My brother is a sports fan. My ex is a sports fan and apparently every man I know likes sports. So, I know some things about sports (although reluctantly). I know what ESPN is. I know who Stuart Scott was and I am saddened by his death.

Stuart Scott died earlier this week on January 4th when he lost his battle to cancer. He was 49. He was an incredible sports anchor, a father, a son and a brother. Many other roles would describe this man. Too many to name, but know that he was a cool dude by many standards.

I  remember the first time I heard him say his signature “Boo- Yah” and almost died. I never knew people talked like that on television. I was witnessing a trailblazer. He was that man who had “swag” whether it be from anchoring at the desk or in his interviews. He was a rarity.

So, when I decided I wanted to write this piece to honor a great man it came as a surprise to me to learn so many things about Stuart Scott. ESPN did a great job. Thanks to the internet you can see old interviews, research his history and review photos of Stuart’s life. He loved ESPN and ESPN undoubtedly loved him which is what I read in an article written by Steve Wulf that..

“He was a trailblazer,” says ESPN anchor Stan Verrett, “not only because he was black — obviously black — but because of his style, his demeanor, his presentation. He did not shy away from the fact that he was a black man, and that allowed the rest of us who came along to just be ourselves.”

“Yes, he brought hip-hop into the conversation,” says Harris, “but I would go further than that. He brought in the barber shop, the church, R&B, soul music. Soul, period.”

Amazing huh? How many journalists can you name that are as smooth as he and can weave hip-hop and barbershop into an interview?  This man was brilliant. A man whose legacy will forever live on. He is worthy to be remembered, studied and included in our history books because he changed the game. Not just in sports, but in journalism as well.

His ESPY speech brought tears to my eyes. Stuart Scott reminded us that…

“When you die it does not mean that you lose to cancer. You beat cancer by how you live, why you live and the manner in which you live. So live.”

That message is for everyone and not just those with cancer. Understanding that your life has purpose. Regardless of the time you may spend on this earth. Know that like Scott says “how you live, why you live and the manner in which you live” are important.

RIP Stuart Scott.

To check out his ESPY speech watch the video below:

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Provoking Violence

Today we found out that Stephen A. Smith, ESPN commentator, was suspended after his comments regarding Ray Rice knocking out his girlfriend earlier this year. Smith said last week that women should avoid provoking men into assaulting them. The internet went on fire. Tell me Stephen, how does a woman avoid provoking a man into assaulting them? Are you saying that women are responsible for the assaults against them because the men are inadequate or incapable of controlling their tempers? We, women can prevent men from knocking us out? Please Stephen tell me how?

It was Smith’s own colleague at ESPN, Michelle Beadle, that called him out on his disturbing remarks by saying that “Violence isn’t the victim’s issue. It’s the abusers. To insinuate otherwise is irresponsible and disgusting”. Thank you Michelle! This is the basic premise that we are all trying to educate men on. Some men get it and sadly other’s don’t. ESPN took a firm stand in suspending Smith for his comments and for that I am happy. Does it take away the sting of his comments? No, but at least they are trying to stand up for women’s rights to not be abused.

This situation runs close to home for me. As a child I watched domestic violence in the form of my parent’s marriage. My first understanding of love and family came at the sound of fists flying and broken glass. I don’t wish that childhood on anyone. I felt helpless. As a mother to a young boy, his father and I stand united on the fact that he should never put his hands on a woman. He’s too young to understand our concern. But, even in his playing with his female friends, I watch his interactions and use it as a teachable moment when he gets too rough with the young girls. Not to hurt his feelings, but to remind him that we keep our hands to ourselves and that you should never hit a girl.

I’m tired of having to stand on my stage and scream that women matter too. I don’t deserve to be abused because I hurt your feelings and emasculate you. You’re grown. You know better. That whole “sticks and stones” nursery rhyme comes to mind. Words never hurt. I know some men will probably say that some women do “provoke” men into hitting them. I offer you this simple explanation: No, they don’t. Life is about choices. You chose to be violent when you put your hands on a woman. Walk away. Women aren’t responsible for your lack of self-control. We all have choices. You can choose right or wrong. I implore men to choose wisely.