Let It Go

I’m probably one of the last hold-outs on Disney’s Frozen Phenomenon, but I did hold out until the very end. But, in my time of transition I’ve realized some eye-opening things about me. One of the things that is so obvious is the fact that I have a hard time letting go. I’m not the only one. I’m sure many of you reading this are in the same boat. Don’t worry I will scoot on over and make room for you in the confessional.

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I have a hard time not letting go of things that people do to me. You know how they teach that you are supposed to forgive and forget? Well, I never forget and even if I forgive you for stabbing me with a jagged blade in my back, I watch you every time you pick up anything. It’s in my DNA. We hold grudges in my family. It’s not normal, but hey who is?

I was talking to my sister last month about some things that were going on in my life and she said to me “You just need to let it go.” I replied, “It’s easier said than done.” She said, “Nope, it’s quite easy. Listen to Lexi (her daughter/my niece) sing Let it Go.” Yep, she actually had her sing it to me. But, she’s only 2 so she only knows the line “let it go”.

My sister’s point was that I needed to listen to the words in the song and just let stuff roll off my back. Now, I have to pause here and tell you that my sister is three years younger than me and not that full of wisdom, but when she dishes it out there is always a prize to be found. So, I took her advice last week and listened to the words in the song and realized that the queen, Elsa, was speaking to me.

Let me tell you how…

  • “Let it Go, Let it go. Can’t hold it back anymore… I don’t care what they’re going to say. Let the storm rage on. The cold never bothered me anyway.”
    • These lyrics were right on point. After my marriage ended, I worried about what things my ex would say to people about me and losing friends. Because apparently people think divorce is contagious and they don’t want to be around people who are breaking up or they just choose sides. This sucked majorly. How could you stop wanting to talk to me after I attended your bridal shower, baby shower, wedding and child’s party? Oh yeah, it was me and my money that bought the gifts. Not my ex. But, take his side. Talk about me and act as though you never knew me. It’s cool because I don’t care what they’re going to say. Let the storm rage on. The cold never bothered me anyway.”
  • “It’s funny how some distance makes everything seem small. And the fears that once controlled me can’t get to me at all.”
    • I know about fears. I was afraid to talk about the pain I was in. I’ve always been very guarded. I was afraid that if I let the cracks show in an otherwise perfect situation that people would see that I’m not as strong as I pretend to be. I was afraid that after living as two for so long could I actually do it on my own? My biggest fear was being a single parent. I never wanted that. My mom was a single parent and there were no benefits in raising children alone. The emotional stress of a divorce, the fears that you are damaging your child beyond belief, and the financial burden being a single parent were all overwhelming fears for me. Until… I realized that I needed to let it go. I would rather my son see two happy people alone than two miserable people together. That fear dissipated.
  • “No right or wrong. No rules for me. I’m free.”
    • Rules. I live by rules and I play by the rules. Never deviating from the rules, I love the freedom I have now to change or make up the rules as I go along. I have nothing to prove. I will make mistakes and I will have both successes and failures, but there is no right or wrong way to do something. I’m just doing it.
  • “Let it Go! Let it Go! You’ll never see me cry.”
    • I spent so much time crying over things and people that I learned to just let those situations go. No more tears. I’m done crying and trying to prove that I’m human and that words hurt. Why continue to try to prove to someone who obviously doesn’t care that I am hurting? I need to let it go and stop crying about the dang spilled milk of the situation. Words hurt when you allow the people who wield them like a knife to have power over you. But, when you let it go, they don’t. The person that does the hurting backs off when they realize that you just don’t care anymore. Hurt people hurt people, remember that.
  • “I’m never going back, the past is in the past.”
    • Yes, I can’t change the past. I’m never going back to that situation or any situation that seeks to demean me. No more unhealthy relationships with people. I can’t fix the faults of my past. I apologize and I move forward. Someone who is always trying to live in the past is missing out on the future. I’m not bound by my background and neither are you.

So, there you have it. Disney’s Frozen song “Let it Go” is a national anthem for anyone who has ever gone through a tumultuous time. You can’t hold on to the pain. The lies. The people that don’t want you. The past. You just have to let it go.

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