Check out what I said via How Do You L💖ve YourSELF?
This was one of the topics my therapist and I discussed a couple of weeks ago. She was telling me that I needed to find the beauty in the broken things and stop being so pessimistic. I couldn’t help it. I literally felt like everything around me was falling apart and that life was dragging me along.
I felt alone.
I know you’re probably thinking, “T, how can you be alone if you have this great guy that you love and adore and is good to you?” Easy – he’s not always there. We don’t live together so sometimes I am the one fighting for his attention when he has many other things going on. Not that I’m jealous. He takes care of a lot of people. I know that. I support that. But…
Sometimes my mind makes me believe that there is no one when I’m going through the storm. I can sit there and call my top five people and they are all busy. They will usually call back, but in the middle of my self-imposed crisis, I feel like I’m drowning. In the ocean with no raft.
That’s when my therapist told me that I needed to change my mindset. That I was being consumed by the negative and I needed to see the beauty in the broken things. She was explaining how there is a Japanese art form called kintsugi that uses gold to fill in the broken pieces of bowls. “The Japanese art of kintsugi teaches that broken objects are not something to hide but to display with pride.” – Steffano Carnazzi , LifeGate
That’s what she wanted me to remember that life may seem broken and I may get overwhelmed, but I need to sit back and see the beauty of all that is around me. There is beauty within me no matter what. She said you’re like that bowl.
She said that I need to stop being overwhelmed by the issues/situations that are affecting me and celebrate some of my successes. So, I’m doing that. Here are three success that I’m sharing with you today:
That’s about it. I know that I have a lot of people praying for me and Munch and I truly am grateful. I just need to change my attitude and start counting my successes more than my failures. There are a lot out there and I’m just in awe of God’s grace.
Note: I do not own the rights to these photos. A Google search showed on kintsugi images showed them.
I’ve missed you all so much. Sorry for the unexpected hiatus. I had an accident and was out of commission and I’m just getting back in the swing of things. All is well and I missed you. I’ve learned a lot in my unplanned break and I realized that I hadn’t motivated you in the new year. Can you believe it? It’s the fourth Monday in 2018 and I haven’t given you a word of encouragement.
I am sorry. So, my motivational Monday moment is about the good. Finding the good. Seeing the good. Loving the good. Experiencing the good. Not just in today, but in everything. In you.
I get it. Life gets hard. You feel overwhelmed by the surrounding bills, lack of job opportunities or emotional stresses of your marriage and/or family. But, you woke up. I know it’s rough, but you have to take it day by day and hour by hour sometimes. You have to see that you can get through this situation and not let it break you because joy comes in the morning.
You have to be strong. You have to love the person looking back at you in the mirror. You have to see that you are worth it and know that you will survive. You have to feel that strength from the bottom of your feet and let it radiate through and around you. You can overcome this obstacle. You can overcome any obstacle. Thank God you don’t look like what you’ve been through.
Do you think I got married thinking that I would be divorced? Nope. My biggest fear was being a single mother. Why? Because I grew up in a single parent home when my dad walked out. I held out on having a child because this fear was real and present and I didn’t want to end up like my parents.
But I did.
I felt like a failure as a wife and a mother. I was repeating the cycle of having my son grow up in a broken home, but the love I had for Munch outweighed all my fears. Even when I couldn’t control the tears of my pain thinking that I was destroying my child, I knew that we would be okay. I needed to straighten my back and love this beautiful boy looking back at me because I knew that God never fails. I knew that I was finally free.
Free to be me. The real me. The me that doesn’t want to be bothered sometimes. The me that realizes it is okay to be perfectly imperfect. That’s when I started to grow stronger. To see that I could do it. Realizing that although my marriage failed, I wasn’t a failure. I was a survivor. I did it.
I started to realign my thoughts, vision and faith to know that it will be okay. Fear is normal and I wanted and needed to be strong for Munch. It didn’t matter that I was met with anger, hurt, judgement, nitpicking and resentment. I had to keep pushing forward. But, you get that in anything right?
Whether you survived a bitter divorce, job loss, death or a dysfunctional relationship. You’ve survived something. Think about how it would have been so easy to give up and give in – but you didn’t. You are stronger than you think and give yourself credit for.
No one’s life is easy. Everyone has survived something. You have to remember that there is strength in the survival and your past is just that. Your past. It serves only to remind you of how badass you are for surviving.
Now what? You’ve survived. Your self-esteem may have taken a blow. You may have lacked the courage to get up and keep moving for a while. But, you have too. You have to love you. You have to focus on you. You have to be the motivating force in your life that allows nothing and no one to stop you from loving you.
When I learned to love myself…to truly love myself, it allowed me the opportunity to receive and know love from Mr. C. I knew me. I loved me and as much as I love and adore that man, nothing was going to stop me from loving me more. Me needs to be okay to be able to love and support him. Me needs to be a priority. Self-care and self-esteem need to be at the top of my lists in order for me to be able to be a good mom, a good manager and a good girlfriend.
I’m happy to say that I’ve been there. I’ve survived and you will too. Trust that your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have. What kind of relationship do you have with you?
It’s a new year. It’s time for a new you. Not literally a new you, but you must revamp and revise who you are for 2018. You’ve got to have gone through some things that have enlightened you in 2017. What did you learn? Can you now take that lesson learned and apply it in 2018?
I’m setting some basic goals for me with regards to this year. I want more experiences, to create more memories, to take more photos and to grow both personally and professionally. I am grabbing the bulls by the horn and proclaiming that 2018 will be my year. The year that I will own my voice.
We all have a voice. I have a voice. You have a voice. You must be a force to be reckoned with. It’s time to get serious about you. The real you. The you that cries at stupid commercials. The you that actually loves romantic comedies. The you who realized that you made a mistake by ending the relationship with the last person you dated.
that’s the you that it’s time to reckon with. It’s okay to have made mistakes, we’ve all done things we wish we hadn’t. But, you can’t stay buried in the pain or in the poison of your misfortune. Own it and move forward. There’s no right or wrong way to live your life. You just have to be determined and unmovable in your goals and desires to elevate yourself. Get off your butt and put one foot in front of the other. Whether physically, emotionally or spiritually it is time to move.
Be courageous. Be determined. Be you.
Be blessed loves!
Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.
It’s 2018 ya’ll and there are just some things you shouldn’t trust. What specifically am I talking about? Women and men that don’t have friends. It’s time for the truth…You can’t trust men or women that don’t have friends.
Why would you date someone that has no one in their life that loves and holds them accountable for their behaviors? Friendships are a must with anyone over the age of 10. There is no way you can meet a man or a woman and they don’t have friends and you be cool with it. That is creepy as hell.
Friends hold you accountable. They know all your secrets and love you in spite of your faults. They trust you and you trust them. It’s a bond not solidified by blood, but more important because they don’t have to be there for you.
I swear close friends are mind readers. Do you know how often I’ve called my closest friends just to talk when in actuality something was on my mind? They instantly knew it. They heard it in my voice. They reminded me that they knew me better than that and even though I may not want to talk about it now, they would be there for me. They would have my back. They would be there when I felt ready to let them in.
Man, I don’t know where I would be without my friends. When I’m wrong. They are there. When I’m right they are there. When I’m just barely holding on by a thread and my mind is trying to break, they reach in and grab hold and love me through my pain.
How can someone not have that in their lives? What have you done to make people not want to invest time and effort into you? I’m not saying you need to have a lot of friends, but you need to have one. One person that is not related to you that can speak of your character.
Think about this…many people who apply for government jobs and have to do clearance have to list character references. Let’s not forget about friends/family members who are going through custody cases. Who can speak to you? Who can reference your character and talk about who you are as a person?
You don’t have anyone? Then figure out what the issue is and get to making friends. It’s 2018, there is no excuse to not have friends. If you don’t, how can we trust you?
He appears before you when you least expect it. The embodiment of your heart’s deepest longings, you are enchanted. Like a Siren luring her victim with her song, so too are you caught within Death’s grasp. You greedily drink his words from his goblet, so tender and sweet. Enthralled by his promise to fill the void, you are intoxicated by his poison.
Ever so gracefully, the phantom whisks his prey onto the dance floor of twilight’s masquerade. You notice not the talons that dig deeply into your flesh, for you are bewitched. A veil he places over your consciousness, which you gladly accept. Numb to the wounds inflicted are you, as you dance this dance with Death.
Ensnared in his clutches, you desperately cling to idle promises. Weary you become, as your light slowly begins to fade. Once a star burning ever so bright, now a mere ember you are. A shadow of your former self, you feel your spirit drifting away. A mere shell you have now become, and you are dying.
You are drowning, engulfed in despair. Yet, as you struggle to lift your head above the water, you manage to catch a glimpse of the phantom behind the mask. Choose to release yourself from his enchantment, for you hold the power. Give not into his sweet illusion, for it is merely a mirage. I beg you, ignore not the phantom’s true identity. For by doing so, you will be given a kiss from Death.
This post was contributed by Feather from Beyond The Light. I stumbled on her much by coincidence as she found me in October when I did my Domestic Violence series. An incredible woman who is also a survivor of domestic violence who wishes to break the silence that shrouds survivors on a daily basis. She knows that there is hope that we can break the shackles of domestic abuse together. Check out her blog: Beyond The Light
I am human. I will make mistakes. We all will. But, I’m thankful for the lessons learned. In all that I do, I try to see what the lesson is that I was supposed to learn. Many times I discover it and I’m thankful for it.
That’s what life is about. Learning lessons. Learning in spite of your trials and tribulations. Learning through your pain. It’s hard. I know. I’ve been there.
But, there is always a lesson and it will get better. No matter what you are going through there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You may not be able to see it but it is there. When you get to the end, make sure you share your story because someone else may benefit from your story of triumph.
Be a blessing to others and learn the lesson that you were supposed to learn. It’s day 14 and I’m thankful for lessons learned in my #23daysofthankfulness.