Day 14: Lessons Learned

I am human. I will make mistakes. We all will. But, I’m thankful for the lessons learned. In all that I do, I try to see what the lesson is that I was supposed to learn. Many times I discover it and I’m thankful for it.

That’s what life is about. Learning lessons. Learning in spite of your trials and tribulations. Learning through your pain. It’s hard. I know. I’ve been there.

But, there is always a lesson and it will get better. No matter what you are going through there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You may not be able to see it but it is there. When you get to the end, make sure you share your story because someone else may benefit from your story of triumph.

Be a blessing to others and learn the lesson that you were supposed to learn. It’s day 14 and I’m thankful for lessons learned in my #23daysofthankfulness.

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

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Day 10: Naysakers aka “Your Haters”

Listen, there will always be people that you meet in life that will doubt your dreams. They are naysakers, haters or just miserable people. You can’t focus on them. You have to stay focused on you and the dreams that you are turning into reality. Manifestation of your dreams starts when you decide to not let fear hold you back and step boldly into your future. No one said that it will be easy. It won’t. But, you deserve it.

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You are stronger than you think. Read the story of anyone who has succeeded and they will tell you that there were those that doubted. However, their doubts don’t pay your bills or ensure your success. You do. Your grit. Your determination. Your spirit. You are responsible for it all.

Leave your haters where they stand and keep pushing towards your goal. No one can stop you, but you. Remember that.

My Day 10 in my #23daysofthankfulness is for all you naysakers out there. Watch me succeed from the place you stand. I will win.

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.07

Day 9: Attitude

It’s Day 9 of my #23DaysofThankfulness and I am thankful for my attitude. In general I have a pretty good attitude. I am a team player and I am trying to always see the best in people. Despite when they show me their true colors.

But, I wake up each day with an attitude of gratitude. I’m thankful for both the good and the bad. The trials and the victories. They are all part of God’s greater plan and I can sense that He is in the midst of it all. So, my attitude is one of thankfulness.

This is weird for me because Munch has such a negative attitude some days. I’m always trying to shift his perspective because your attitude can influence the type of day you’ll have. If you wake up positive and only allow positive energy to fuel your day you will notice the shift in your attitude. However, if you wake up and allow every negative thought to envelop your mind then it will be reflective in your attitude.

Be amazing. Be wonderful. Put a smile on your face. Change your attitude.

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Monday Motivation – 10.30.17

Today’s Monday Motivation is about truth. Your truth. Loving and living your truth. How can you live if you aren’t truthful to you? Are you walking around faking it for your family and friends? For social media? How does that make you feel?

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You have to stop, love. You have to live your truth. You have to know that you were meant for greater things than just existing. Stop wearing a mask and pretending. You deserve to be happy.

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I’ve been there. I’ve lived a fake life. Trying to be happy. Trying to force a smile on my face when all hell was breaking loose around me. It’s exhausting.

No more.

No more living in lies. Live your truth. Love your truth. Love you.

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By loving yourself and living in your truth, you free yourself from expectations of perfection or just from faking it. You owe no one, but you. No one can make you happy unless you’ve made yourself happy first.

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Focus on your spirit. Focus on how freeing it is to honor your spirit. To live your truth. To walk in your truth. To be true to you.

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When I turned 40, I started listening to my inner spirit. I realized that I was doing myself a disservice all these years by not trusting me and by not living my truth. The truth is that I’m sometimes messy. The truth is that I hate folding clothes. The truth is that I sometimes fear that I’m failing Munch. The truth is that I can actually hate.

The truth.

The truth is freeing. The truth serves the purpose of helping you to realize how authentically and wonderfully made you are. Live your truth. Trust your truth. Be true to you.

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

 

Behold Your Beauty – #Love Yourself

I had dinner a couple of nights ago with a friend of mine. It was great to catch-up. We hadn’t hung out in a few months and I needed to let him know the things that I was going through. He asked me about my relationship with Mr. C and I was gushing all over my man. We were talking about how we’ll be getting married in the fall of 2020 and he started laughing. He asked “Does he want to marry you?” I looked at him seriously “Absolutely. Why wouldn’t he? I’m pretty damn amazing. Hell, one of the main reasons that I want to wait is that I’m not ready to jump back into the wife role. Don’t you find me amazing?” He replied “Of course.”

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Well it got me to thinking about how do you define yourself? Do you love yourself? I mean I don’t lack in self-esteem. Mama didn’t raise no fool. I may not be your cup of tea, but damn it I didn’t ask you to pick up my cup and take a sip. My tea is a strong like me and not all men can handle that. Some men actually prefer weak tea “aka weaker women”. Those men have moved out of the way to allow my love to walk with me.

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See, I am not perfect. No one is. But, I’m a great woman and someday I’ll enter into being a great wife. It’s the steps that I’m taking now that are allowing me to march forward in my relationship without hesitation. You’ve got to do the same.

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I love all my curves and the baby weight that I’m still carrying 9 years later. I love me. I love the way I blush when you ask me about Mr. C. A deep red, genuine blush because I can’t believe how blessed I am to have a man that God chose for me riding with me through this life. I’ve learned to love my nose. The weird nose that looks nothing like my family. I love it.

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Beyond the physical though, I just want to tell you that I love myself. Through all the mental and physical attributes, scars and fresh cut wounds the absolute best thing about me is my strength. I’m a fighter. You don’t know? Read my post last week. Know that many men have tried to break me and none can or will.

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My man loves my strength. No matter the adversity I keep fighting. I keep pushing forward. I keep surviving and thriving. That’s nothing but favor, love. God’s got and has kept me. So, Mr. C sees favor, strength and beauty all wrapped up into one when he sees me. He sees someone who made a vow to God, whose kept it and wants to honor Him as a couple. He sees a wonderful mother and friend. Why wouldn’t he want to marry me? I love me and I love him.

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

You Probably Need Therapy

I believe in therapy. I believe that there has been a mental shift in this country in how we really deal with our issues. In fact, we don’t deal with them. We walk around wearing masks like there is absolutely nothing wrong with us.

But, it is a lie.

There are things that are wrong with you.

There is something wrong with me.

There is something wrong with you.

There is something wrong with all of us.

Let’s stop pretending.

Did you know that 44% of Americans between the ages of 18-44 suffer from depression? It’s staggering, yet imaginable. The media isn’t helping. The weather isn’t helping. Life is just overwhelming some days.

The NIMH estimates that in the United States, 16 million adults had at least one major depressive episode in 2012. That’s 6.9 percent of the population. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), 350 million people worldwide suffer from depression. It is a leading cause of disability.

That’s a lot of us that are depressed. Depression is common and many of us overlook it. I’ve suffered from depression and I’m pretty sure that if you think back to life’s events that have affected you…you probably have too. Was there a death of a loved one? Divorce? Job loss?

I’ve seen therapists many times as an adult. It was in therapy that I realized that I suffer from anxiety. I knew that I had a way of processing that was different, but I couldn’t put my fingers on it. When I explained to my closest friends about my anxiety. They sighed and said “Yep, that’s it.”

My anxiety may not be as severe as other people, but it is something that I recognize and realized that I’ve passed down to Munch. It’s difficult to find the words to encourage my baby to stop worrying about things and as my grandma used to say “borrow tomorrow’s troubles”. He is anxious. He’s 9. He shouldn’t worry.

But, he got it honestly. I worry A LOT. I’m just learning to let things go and not let them stress me out. Through friends and my absolutely fabulous therapist, I’m learning to process what I need too and disregard the rest of the noise. This is part of why I’ve been sharing my self-preservation and the power is within you posts.

I’m learning. I’m growing. I’m accepting that I don’t have all the answers. That I can’t figure it out all by myself. I needed help. I’m getting it.

We have to stop stigmatizing mental health issues. I know in the black community we don’t seem to believe in therapy. We believe that you can pray your way out of anything. Including mental health.

This is not true.

Prayer helps and I believe that God hears all and sees all. But, how can you hear God if you’re hearing voices because you have schizophrenia? You can’t.  It’s impossible.

Now, ya’ll know that I think all black people need three things: Jesus, wine and therapy. We have to stop labeling mental health issues as crazy and start supporting and encouraging our love ones (and ourselves) to get the help we need. It’s about time we stop promoting the strong black woman bulls*it and just promote healthy minds for a healthy you.

It’s time to take care our mental health and spirit too.

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Motivational Monday Moment – 10.2.17

It’s the first Monday in a new month. The 10th month of the year. Are you excited yet? Are you enjoying and loving the cooler weather? It is just starting to feel like fall here in Maryland and I’m ecstatic. I told you that I love fall right?

I love the cooler days and nights. I love pumpkin patches, hay rides and hot apple cider. I love the leaves changing colors and comfy sweaters. I love boots and roaring fires. I love everything about fall.

Okay, now that I told you how I’m crushing on fall, let’s get to this Motivational Monday Moment. This topic came to me a few weeks ago and then faded into the background of my mind. However, I realized that I need to talk about it and share it with you after last week.

The topic is self-preservation. Self-preservation is the preservation of oneself from harm or danger. Simple huh? How many of you actually believe this? How many of you actually practice this?

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I know that I didn’t. I would believe that I had to practice societal norms at the expense of my own happiness. I talked about that in my post: You Have The Power

I would believe that someone else’s happiness mattered more than my own. I would in essence people please. To the point of my freaking sanity. I always tried to be the peacemaker. To be the bigger person. To try to make amends. To heal and conqueror our issues.

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However, not anymore. I am only human. I have one life. One heart, one mind and one body. I choose to focus on the good in people and things, but I choose me first. See, in order to not go crazy and lose my dang mind in this life, I have to put my needs (especially mental) above all else.

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I will no longer stress myself out or allow others to break me. Nope, not gonna do it. I choose me. I have to make sure that I’m okay because Munch needs me more than anyone else in this world. So, he is my first and in reality only priority.

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In choosing you first, you realize that you are better than the situation and circumstances that you were trying to fix. You decide that if it doesn’t affect my ability to eat, live, breathe, etc is it really worth it? Probably not.

In many cases I would say absolutely it isn’t worth it. If you know it’s not affecting you in the way you need to live or breathe then why invest time at your own expense? It doesn’t make sense.

Now, I’m not saying that you can’t try to make amends for wrongs that you’ve committed if you should choose too. Nope, I’m saying that you can’t exhaust your energy trying to fix something that probably should stay broken. Refocus your time and energy on analyzing the situation and decide for yourself where you want to be in the situation.

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You can’t allow toxic people or situations to destroy what you are trying to create. You have to be able to navigate the landscape and drama of a situation and sometimes just walk away. For you. For your sanity. For your health.

I know it is hard, but if a situation or person is destroying you mentally, why are you letting it? How is it benefiting you? Is the situation getting better? Probably not so deciding that you will not allow it to exhaust you mentally or physically is choosing you first.

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So, my Monday Motivational Moment is about choosing to live your best life. With you at the forefront of it. Not on the sidelines. Don’t allow negative people, things or situations destroy your peace of mind. You have to choose you. If it doesn’t benefit you then disregard it. This includes relationships love.

If a relationship isn’t symbiotic it is parasitic and parasites destroy. Don’t allow anyone or anything to destroy you. You are way more valuable than you think so you must practice self-preservation first.

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.