I Am Not That Woman

A letter to all men that I’ve dated:

I am no longer interested in dating you. I have a man. It may seem like it’s a no brainer, but I need to remind you. You can’t direct message me. You can’t flirt with me. You can’t date me. You can’t!

See, there is a reason we never worked out. I understand that everything happens for a reason. You weren’t the man for me. I wasn’t the woman for you. It’s the truth. We don’t need to keep trying to fit that square peg in a round hole and call it love. It isn’t. It wasn’t. It was lust.

It took me many years to get to the place where I’ve learned to love and accept the woman that I am. It took me many months of dating to find the man that I was supposed to be with. It takes me hours of therapy a month to learn and understand that I deserve a healthy relationship. Not a one night stand.

Or months of sleeping together, hanging out, going to parties and still saying “we’re just friends”. I’ve grown up. I’ve decided that what I want and need doesn’t matter to you. You are incapable of giving it to me. Or maybe you were just incapable at that time. Either way, our time has passed.

You need to know that I’m not the same woman I was when I met you. I’m different. I’m happy. I’m healthy. I’m in a much better space now. In this space that I’ve created, there isn’t room for you. There’s just room for me and the man that has my heart.

It’s okay though.

You should just leave me alone and allow me the opportunity to continue to grow in this beautiful relationship that I have. I can’t date you. I can’t sext you. I can’t anything with you. Thank you for telling me that you miss me. I’m flattered.

Actually, I’m not.

I don’t go backwards. Our time has passed. I no longer desire to hear words of appreciation or fake sincerity. What I want, you can’t give. But, I am asking that you respect my space or get blocked. The choice is yours.

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links:  Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Wisdom Wednesday – 3/22/17

Just thought I would send you some encouragement today. I wanted to share these words that resonated with me this morning in my meditation.

#1:  Never give up – You were meant for greatness…

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#2:  Remember where you come from and that a wise man or woman never stops learning…

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#3.  Choose your circle wisely. There is nothing wrong with cleaning house from those who don’t wish you well…

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#4.  Don’t get caught up worrying about your “haters”. Focus on following your intuition…

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I hope these photos encourage you to keep going through whatever you’re going through and know that the situation you find yourself in is only temporary. We can’t let our obstacles overwhelm and obscure our views of the shore. We have to keep rowing. Perseverance and persistence are the friends to faith. Let’s keep our heads up.

 

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links:  Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

When the D*ck Has You Delirious

Most women can remember a time when they had some good sex. A time when all you wanted was a good piece of meat to take the edge off. That man was a champion lover. He knew all the right moves. He was beyond addictive with his bed skills. But, you couldn’t make it work.

Why not?

Probably because he was a male whore. He knew his skills were beyond compare and he felt it his need to share it with every Jane, Sue and Leslie in town. He was a hot commodity. He never really wanted for a traditional relationship. They bothered him. He didn’t have time for one woman. He wanted many.

He wined, dined and probably 69ed you and you started to catch feelings. You imagined a future with him. He was amazing. He was smart, funny and so sweet to you. You my friend were delirious. He was a piece of d*ck that you enjoyed. You and many others.

He didn’t make it a secret that he couldn’t be a one woman man. There was no reason to pretend. You just got your feelings hurt girl! You started to believe that he could be more than just a booty call. That you could love a man that didn’t love you. You fell for it.

You would pull yourself away from the man who you knew could never love you and go running back each time you felt an ache between your thighs. For what? The same old same old. See, this man is a player. Nothing wrong with it. You just have to know that you’re nothing more than a chess piece and get the hell up from the board.

You need to understand your worth. You need to value yourself more than you do the piece of meat between his legs. You need to stop wasting your time. You see what I’m saying? It’s not him love, it’s you. You are allowing this man whose time has expired to occupy space in your life and in your bed and then trying to convince the rest of us that you are just f*ck buddies.

Naw, boo. You’re playing yourself. Buddies implies that he has respect for you. He doesn’t. He calls you out your name. He makes you feel inferior and puts you in situations that you claim you didn’t enjoy. You begin to change and adapt to his whim knowing deep down inside he doesn’t give a damn about you.

But, you insist on trying to make the world believe that you are in control of the situation. You’re not. You’re in denial. You see the disrespect. You see the writing on the wall and yet you continue to engage. The d*ck is bomb is what you say.

Whatever sis! While you’re dipping and riding all over his joy stick you’re killing yourself slowly. Both physically and mentally with a man that could give a rat’s a*s what you think. He doesn’t respect you. He doesn’t value you. He doesn’t comfort you.

Why should he? You’ve made it too easy for him not to care. It’s not his fault. You allow the continued disrespect. You like it. You see no value in you only what you think you can offer him.

No amount of sex will keep a man. You could be an Olympic gold medalist in the bedroom, but if a man doesn’t respect you, he won’t be kept. So, stop letting the d*ck confuse and abuse you and look in the mirror and love yourself.

Love yourself more than you’ve ever loved yourself and untangle your soul from the foolishness of this pseudo relationship. You will find yourself happier and healthier. Be honest with what you want and who you want and know that you deserve more.

 

 

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links:  Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Welcome March – 2017

Today is the first day of March. It’s a new month. Time to create micro goals and get to moving. You are now in the third month of 2017 and are you doing what you love? Are you doing what you want? Are you making the changes that you said you would? It’s not to late. Let’s make it happen.

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links:  Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Welcome to My World!

Welcome to all my new followers of A Thomas Point of View. I’m so thankful you decided to read and follow my blog. Have you checked out my about page? I know many times I follow a blogger because I’ve read a couple of their pieces and I like what I read. But, I never stop to read their about page. So, I decided to share it with you today.

Who Am I?

I am a woman, mother, daughter, sister, friend and businesswoman. Many titles, but the most important one is definitely mother. I have one son who is the light of my life. I found that blogging during my pregnancy helped me journal my thoughts so this became my high horse journalistic point of view.

Four years ago I started writing more after I found myself living in hell. I was a wreck because my marriage had ended and we were volatile. We couldn’t get along and I couldn’t understand why the man who vowed to love me was treating me like crap?  I went into therapy and I was determined to find out what my issues were because let’s be real, everyone has them.

I realized that I was one of the problems. I had just scratched that surface and when I started to journal my pain it became my life story. That story is a deep and powerful one that I will be turning into a book shortly, but let’s say that it was both painful and cathartic.

So, in this journey from marriage to divorce, dating, parenting and everything in between, I try to journal my thoughts and share my experiences. There is a breadth of development that has taken place in me and I am thankful for the experiences, I will share them. I crave interaction and comments whether on my Facebook page or on this blog. I promise I will respond.

Sit back, read and be engaged with me. I promise you won’t be bored because I will talk about social injustices, parenting, dating, relationships and everything in between. I will post poems, short stories, published pieces and reblog inspirational, informative and educational information to you.

Let’s engage!

Munch Love

Being a mother is how I truly learned to love. Today’s post is about my son whom I affectionately call Munch. I wanted to tell you why I love this little kid so much.

There are many reasons that I love this little 8 year old boy. But, I wanted to share 3 of them with you now. I hope I can explain in words all that this little boy means to me.

  1. First, this little boy can always make me feel better. No matter how bad my day is or how I feel like giving up, I know I can’t. Just by looking at me with his big brown eyes and smiling. I instantly feel the warmth and love and know that nothing matters more than being in this moment with him. Last month, I got some difficult news and I was really distraught. I was so angry and hurt and I felt lost. I allowed myself the normal 72 hours to bemoan my situation and then remember that my help comes from Jesus. It was difficult though. But, Munch is my reason for never wanting to give up. No matter how hard the situation or life appears, I have to keep going. His concern for me and others make me love him even more each day.
  2. Second, Munch is a child that doesn’t like change. That’s been one of the hardest things for me. When his dad and I divorced, he would always say “But, you are my family. If you’re divorcing does this mean that I have no more family?” Wow! He was only 5.  We would reassure him that we are still family. We just won’t be married or living together. I think he understood. But, over the years he’s been able to adapt better than I can imagine. His ability to adapt despite adversity is another reason that I love this boy.
  3. Third, Munch’s need for affirmation of his success is endearing. One of the things that I never heard from my mother while growing up was how proud she was of me. I never heard it. I guess you could say you should’ve assumed it, but is that realistic for a child? Nope. It wasn’t until I was a sophomore in college and I was walking across campus and a maintenance woman stopped me to say hi. She told me that your mom is so proud of you. She’s always reading the student paper to see what you’re doing as part of this organization or what you’re talking about. She brags about you a lot. I was floored. I never heard that. I was almost 20 and and I didn’t know she was proud of me. However, I knew that when I had children that I would acknowledge their successes often. Praise them for their accomplishments no matter how small so that if I should ever have to discipline them, they know that I don’t think the worst of them. I’ve done that since becoming a mom. I celebrate every milestone and give words of encouragement and accolades for everything and anything. He loves it and his need for affirmation of his accomplishments may seem troublesome, but I love it. I love celebrating him.

I love being a mom and my son makes me love it even more. Motherhood changed me. He changed me. I’m proud to say that my first #loveuary is for my son.

Who do you love? Tell me about it. Better, yet if you would like to blog about it, Ritu is hosting a #loveuary challenge. Please head over to her page and check it out.

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Not His Type

One of the hardest things that I ever learned to do was accept that I wasn’t someone’s type. Not the “I find nothing attractive about you” kinda man. It was the subtle “I want to date you, sleep with you and play you” kinda man. That man was the one that I couldn’t spot. I couldn’t see what his real goal was about.

I spent many years. Wasting my time trying to make him see that I was a good person. That I was a good woman. That I was who he should choose. Me. Can you believe that? I was trying to beg someone to be with me instead of realizing that I just wasn’t his type.

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The thing is this…a man knows what he wants. He tells you what he wants or doesn’t want. The problem becomes that we don’t believe them. At least I didn’t. I figured that I could change his mind.

Make him love me.

It was as though his love or desire for me somehow validated that I was worthy of being loved. Yep, I was equating love/desire as the same thing and realizing that if a man didn’t have it for me that somehow I could change his mind. Make him see that I was the one for him.

When I realized that I was responsible for me and loving my own self I started to see things differently. I started to see what I was missing…I can’t make anyone love me. I’m just not his type and you know what? It’s okay.

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I’m not going to be everyone’s type anymore than everyone is my type. The key is to recognize it and move on. Don’t try to force a situation. You spend time being used, lied to or played and you have no one to blame but yourself. Listen to what he’s saying. It’s okay that you’re not his type.

You need someone who could love you for you. The first time. Not as a last option.

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