Motivational Monday Moment – 03.05.18

It is the first Monday in March. How are you surviving? I decided that this month I wanted to find a quote that stood out to me and motivate you in this journey called life. Give you nuggets of wisdom that will help you get through the week.

So, every Monday going forward I will try to find a quote that speaks to my spirit of where I am and encourage you. I aim to be as transparent as possible with my readers and I just want you to know that even if you see a smile, sometimes I’m going through hell just like you. Being a Christian ain’t easy and staying motivated is sometimes harder than you can imagine.

First up is this quote that I saw last week. Please bear with me if I can’t remember the blogger that shared this quote first, but I saw it a couple of times. It was as if God was speaking to me. To remind me that the things that I’m going through are only temporary. I must keep moving forward. To not let the pain or anger weigh my spirit down.

This quote “Ships don’t sink because of the water around them; ships sink because of the water that gets in them. Don’t let what’s happening around you get inside and weigh you down.” How true is that? How many times have you let the water of your circumstances weigh your spirit (ship) down? Umm, let me raise my hand.

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See, I’ve been going through some things and I reached out to a friend who reminded me of the space that I need to get too. To remember that the enemy is always trying to attack, but stay steadfast in protecting my ship (my mind and life). Why is that so difficult to do?

Because we are human. But, my ship is full. Part of that ship is counting the blessings that are on board. My family, my friends and my love. All things that matter to me. I’m staying in the moment of gratefulness and trying to not allow those situations to dissolve and change me. I am bigger than my problems.

That’s my Motivational Monday Moment. Remember to not let what is happening around you weigh you down. You are stronger than you know. Remain unmovable and steadfast. This life is the only one that you’ll get, so don’t let your problems overtake your boat.

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

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Day 22: A Chance to Escape

Whether in books or in film, I’m thankful for great works that allow me the opportunity to escape reality. Do you escape? Do you get away? Take mental breaks and read about new destinations and places?

We all get burned out and whether it be mini dates with yourself or your loved one or taking a break in your mind, you need to be able to escape. Social media is killing us right now. I’ve never ever in my life wanted to disconnect so much. Every day a new tragedy is occurring and it is playing with my mental health.

So, I escape. I watch TV shows that are creative. I watch sci-fi. I go on a date with Mr. C. I go away in my mind and escape the negativity. I immerse myself in relaxation. You need to do the same.

It’s Day 22 and I’m thankful for a chance to escape. In my #23daysofthankfulness an imagination is a beautiful thing. Self-help is a requirement. Good mental health is a must. Allow yourself all that and more.

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Day 10: Naysakers aka “Your Haters”

Listen, there will always be people that you meet in life that will doubt your dreams. They are naysakers, haters or just miserable people. You can’t focus on them. You have to stay focused on you and the dreams that you are turning into reality. Manifestation of your dreams starts when you decide to not let fear hold you back and step boldly into your future. No one said that it will be easy. It won’t. But, you deserve it.

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You are stronger than you think. Read the story of anyone who has succeeded and they will tell you that there were those that doubted. However, their doubts don’t pay your bills or ensure your success. You do. Your grit. Your determination. Your spirit. You are responsible for it all.

Leave your haters where they stand and keep pushing towards your goal. No one can stop you, but you. Remember that.

My Day 10 in my #23daysofthankfulness is for all you naysakers out there. Watch me succeed from the place you stand. I will win.

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.07

Reblog: Yep I’m Scared

I get scared sometimes. I think back to all the times I’ve hid my true self, my feelings or my insecurities in an effort to put on a brave face for everyone else and how that has somehow held me back all these years. I get scared. I am sometimes too afraid to tell someone how I feel about something because I don’t want to seem argumentative. But, if it’s how I feel, does it matter?

I’ve been exploring and self-evaluating my life a lot lately and I realized that I’m a scaredy cat. I get afraid to reveal the real me and let folks in. My friend gave me a great piece of advice last week when he said, “You can’t go through life being afraid to let folks in and keeping pieces of the real you hidden. Life is about taking the plunge and just wading through the water and see where it goes.” (It was probably less poetic because he is a man, but you get the gist right?). I do hide the real me and don’t like to let people in. I’m guarded. I’m closed off when in unfamiliar territories. Especially those that deal with the heart.

So, I wait. I try to analyze, micro-analyze every problem and situation so that I can’t see the forest for the big tree in my vision. I am a runner. I justify my running away as a part of life. It’s me. If things get to complicated or too emotional, I’m out. I don’t want to get hurt. So, I shield myself, my heart, my mind from folks who just want to get to know the real me. But, the real me is too sensitive for this world. She’s not someone use to sharing pieces of her soul.

Until now. I have bared more of my soul in the last year than I ever have. I’ve let my guard down (that 100 foot barbed wire wall around my heart) and started letting people see the real me. Nothing fancy. Just a glimpse of who I am. I had to. God said it’s time. It’s time to let the wall down and share. But, I keep dragging my feet. Slowly because I’m afraid. I don’t  want my heart to get broken. I don’t want to be uncomfortable.

But, you have to be uncomfortable to grow. I need to face my fears no matter how scared I am. I remember my pastor preaching about growing in the valley with the myrtle trees and I am reminded that life is just that. Growing in uncomfortable places and situations.

I’m terrified, but I know that I need to move forward and grow. Just grow.  Whether it’s my branches that spread to support the leaves in my life or my roots that grow deep in the ground, I need to grow. Growth is good. I’m not saying that it won’t be hard and I will continue to guard my heart, but I can’t move forward if I’m too afraid to jump.  I may get hurt, but I will learn. I will grow. I will survive.

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Motivational Monday Moment – 6/19/17

Today’s Motivational Monday Moment is about not believing the hype spread by your haters. The hype is the fake news or fake information that others try to use against you. Don’t believe it! Have you ever been in a situation where someone has crafted alternative facts to try to make your character seem less than genuine? Whether it be in your workplace or in your personal life, I want to remind you to not believe the hype.

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Life is full of people that will try to use, misuse and talk about you behind your back. Whether it be through social media, emails or your blog they can’t seem to find it in their character to confront you to your face so they punk out and troll you. Have you ever been trolled? It bothered you right? It bothered you that someone was hiding behind a keyboard talking mess about you or some perceived wrong you had done. You may have been afraid. But, fear not my friend.

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Don’t give energy to those things meant to distract you or tarnish your character. You have to ignore it. I know. I know. It is hard sometimes because you feel the need to defend yourself or your character to others, but you don’t have too. See, God knows and sees all. God promises to be with you in battle which is why you are encouraged to put on the full armor of God.

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You can’t let those that are being used for evil destroy you with their words or actions. You just need to walk away and keep the peace. To keep your sanity. You know who you are and whose you are. So many times we want to fight battles that we don’t even need to fight because God will handle it.

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You have to stand strong and don’t let your feelings lead you into catching a case. Ignore those that wish to be manipulative and vindictive pawns in the devil’s army. You are a child of God. He already told you that he gave you power and you don’t need to fight those battles. You just have to remember to not believe the hype. Don’t let your haters bring you down.

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Don’t let the words and/or actions of others put you in a place that is not allowing you to fulfill your purpose. Your purpose is greater than the foolishness around you. When you give thought or energy to those things that don’t align with your purpose then you are being detoured off the path of greatness. Don’t believe the hype!

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Let your dreams manifest regardless of the environment you find yourself in. Believe that you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. Know that you have the power to speak life into your own situations when it feels like all hope is lost. Remember to stay prayed up and motivated throughout your trials and tribulations.

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Give it to God.

That’s it. That simple. Give it to God.

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My Motivational Monday Moment is reminding you to not believe the hype. You are not what others say about you. You are what you choose to be. Your character can never be questioned by those who know and love you. And when the enemy comes to destroy your peace, remember that this battle is not yours and don’t believe the hype. You are more than the words of your haters!

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Dating Chronicles: My Story

In anticipation of gaining 1,500 WordPress followers in the next week, I wanted to share my stories to the new ones and those that didn’t know me before I met Mr. C. I had some real issues finding love. There were too many characters and I have to tell you that on-line dating can work.

Once you give it a chance, move out of your own way and be diligent in keeping your boundaries and eliminating waste from your in box, you can find love.  As was the case with me. But, the journey to find love is sometimes a slow moving one whereby I stumbled and fell hard for a man that just wasn’t in to me. Not a bad man.

Just not the man for me. The thing is that when you wake up from your erotic haze of happiness you start to see a person for who they really are. You shouldn’t have to sacrifice the best parts of you to be with a person.

When you run into a man that is not being honest or not wanting what you are giving, accept it and move on. Stop letting passion dictate your decisions. Stop playing yourself.

One of my Facebook friends, MB, posted this last month:

Dear WOMAN,
He’s going to come. The one who’s going to make you feel like everyone else was just practice. He’ll love your mind first..heart second..& your body always. He’ll prove to you trust isn’t just a word..that love isn’t just a feeling — but will you be ready? There is nothing worse than having a king on your doorstep, while your in bed with & entertaining a joker!! #realtalk#lemmeblessaWOMANrightnow #bewhatuseek

No truer words right? She spoke the truth about me and probably many of you that day and the fact that I saw it prompted me to share with you how I was doing just that. Entertaining jokers when a king was on my door step.

I hope you enjoy my 3 part series. Thank you for following me. Thank you for reading me and thank you for inspiring me. Welcome to my world!

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Auditioning for the Wife

On Saturday, I had a great service project with members of my sorority and other Greek fraternities and sororities. It was a joint effort where we went and cleaned up the Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial in D.C.. It was a beautiful day and over 70 people showed up.

Afterwards, a few of my sorority sisters and I went to lunch. We were talking about men and women relationships when one of my sisters said something so profound and true. She said “Sometimes, women are so desperate to marry or prove that they are marriage material that they audition for the wife role in relationships.” Boom.

There it is. That was truth and knowledge about what I’m seeing now in relationships. I’m sure it’s always been there, but now more than ever I see women doing that. Why? Why do you feel the need to audition for a role you may not even want from the man that you’re with?

I know that dating has changed over the years. Black women are now earning more than ever and find it hard navigating the dating world. We are told that we have to sacrifice or lower our standards in order to find a suitable partner. Both of which I will say “Not true.” In many instances, we find ourselves fighting over the eligible pool of available men. So, we get creative in trying to woo the one that we want. How can we let him know that he should choose me? How can I prove to him that I’m wifey material? 

I know. I’ve seen many women do it. We have to stop trying to audition for the wife role ladies. Look, there’s nothing wrong with finding a man and falling in love and wanting to show him that you’re about substance. You want him to imagine a future with you. A future full of possibilities. You want him to imagine home cooked meals, clean clothes and a clean house. You want him to see you as your partner. An equal that has his back.

I get that. But, sis you have to trust that if you are the one for him none of that matters. Now, that doesn’t mean that you can be selfish. No, on the contrary you should show him the part of you that makes him imagine a future with you because of who you are not of what you’re doing for him. You don’t have to cook and clean his house, watch his kids, or take care of him financially. How is he showing you that he’s a man?

As a woman who has been married and divorced, I will tell you that I didn’t audition for the wife role with my ex. I didn’t know how to be a wife any more than he knew how to be a husband. Did I do things for him? Yes. But, when you do too much for a man it takes away from him being allowed to be the man he’s supposed to be. A man figures out how to manage his life without you.

Can you make it better? Absolutely. But, should you do that in the dating phase? No. You haven’t even gotten a ring yet. No amount of auditioning will make him choose you. He may even choose the woman after you.

My perspective is of course different because I am in no way rushing down the altar again. Been there done that. I have a wonderful man that will wait on me and for that I am glad. But, I don’t have to audition for the wife role for him. Mr. C sees me as the woman he wants to be with and spend his life with and you know what? I didn’t do anything special.

I just got to know him and love him in the space that we created. That’s it that’s all. I didn’t have to drop it like it’s hot or cook lavish home cooked meals for him. In fact in the almost two years we’ve been dating, I’ve never cooked a meal for him.  I actually told him that I probably won’t cook a lot, but would be willing to take turns cooking. He accepts that. He knows that I encourage his spirit, pray for him, love him and just allow him to lead us. That guiding principle has allowed us to create boundaries and respect the space we’re creating.

I don’t need to audition. The role is mine. I’m just not ready to get married again. But, the thing is this…he knows what he’s getting and I know the same.

 

Do you believe that women audition to be the wife in a man’s life? Have you ever done it? What did you do to break the cycle of auditioning?

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.