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Reflecting on My Goals – 10/13

In May I was talking to my girlfriend about my life and my three year goals. I told her that every three years I take stock of my life and decide the following:

  • Am I where I want to be professionally? If yes, what direct things have happened that show that I’m on the right track? If not, what are you going to do about it?
  • Am I where I want to be personally? If yes, what direct things have happened that can be proven that you’re on the right track? If not, what changes will you be making?

It may seem strange to some, but for me life is about analyzing and evaluating where I am both personally and professionally. Personally covers all aspects of my life that are not professional. That strategic look at my life was always there. However, somewhere along the line between fiancee to wife to mother it fell by the waist side.

My goals. My dreams. My desire to be more than. More than just a wife. More than just a mother. More than just an employee. More than became obsolete as other competing priorities gave way. I had to evolve.

When I decided to divorce, I began to realize all the things that made up the essence of who I was as a woman weren’t really visible anymore. I had to change that. I started to revisit my strategic assessment of my life. My goals. My dreams. Where did I see myself? How did I plan to get there?

Those were some of the questions that I asked. I started to sit down and write. What I wrote weren’t goals but my story. Journaling. I started to free some of the things that kept me up at night. I discovered a love for writing that surpassed even my wildest dreams. But, I also realized that I wasn’t living up to my potential professionally. I had to make changes.

I had no choice. I was a single mother. I was part of a two income family that was becoming one and I had to live on that one income. There was no safety net. I started thinking about what I needed to do to create my village for my son and I. I couldn’t do this alone. My mom had a village when she worked three jobs to help out. I needed those same kind of villagers.

I found them. I began to settle into my new normal. I then wrote out my goals on paper earlier this year. There were 8. Here’s what I wrote down for my three year goals:

  1. Pay off debt (car loan, student loans, credit cards)
  2. Save (emergency fund, savings and retirement)
  3. Buy a house
  4. Pledge a sorority
  5. Get a better job
  6. Go to graduate school
  7. Join my undergraduate alumni association
  8. Find love

These were some of the things that I felt that I could do in the next three years. They were attainable. They would shape me up for the better. It’s October and I’m proud to say that I’m making some progress on this list. I’m far from where I hope to end up in the remaining 26 months, but I am telling you that it is a process.

I’m holding myself accountable to get the things done that are on my list. All are attainable and I want to be able to provide the best possible life for me and Munch. It’s not easy, but I am trusting God that he will allow all things to happen in His time. Not mine.


Do you re-evaluate your goals? How often? Do you write your goals down? 


  1. a lot has happened to me the past two years, that including a broken heart this year. But reading this post has made me also want to write down some of my goals after a two year struggled relationship. I am 25 years now but God knows how much I want to reach my dreams and number one, He gave me the strength to let go of a toxic relationship that was pulling me down in all angles. I was completely love sick that I got lost. So now, i will not write here my goals but draft them in my notebook…Hoping within three years like you, I will have achieved most of them..

    Thank you for this post.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I write my goals in three categories: health, wealth and finance. Each year I change them and post them on my side of the bathroom mirror so that I can’t help but to read them. I re-evaluate each year, but I also have sub/mini-goals during the year. So, I agree with what you’ve written here. I must say, though, you are one of the most ambitious people I know!

    Liked by 1 person

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