Better Days

So much tragedy. It’s hard being a parent right now. Tragedy everywhere. May is graduation and prom for most colleges and high schools. It is supposed to be a reminder of the future. Your life begins once you leave those hallways. Or so it is assumed.

I read the horrific story earlier this month about an 8 year old boy named Gabriel Taye that had killed himself two days after being bullied. He was 8. A baby. The same age as my son.

The story last week of Kingston Frazier who was 6 years old and had been shot. His mother ran into the store at 1:15 a.m. and left her car running and the keys in it. Why? I couldn’t figure out why she would do that until I realized that her child was sleeping and it was probably hot outside and she wanted the air to run to keep him cool. Her car was stolen by three teenage boys. Her son was murdered.

The story of Lt. Richard Collins III who was murdered on the campus of my Alma Mater. No reason. Waiting for an Uber with some friends at the bus stop. A white student unprovoked attacked and killed him. Collins was a model student who was just commissioned as a second lieutenant. Set to graduate from another college three days after being murdered. Model citizen.

What do all these people have in common? They are all dead.  They are all boys. Two were murdered by other people. They are all black.

As a mother, my heart breaks as I think about my son growing up and leaving the safe confines of my house. Is it unreasonable? Nope. Given the state of this country, I would argue that it is very reasonable. I worry when he exits my home and goes to school. Schools aren’t safe anymore. Sandy Hook reminded me of that.

I worry because of the color of his skin. That beautiful caramel colored skin is a badge of honor. A combining of complexions of his father and I that reproduced and created this gorgeous melanin he proudly wears. I love it, but I monitor his toys. No toy guns. They are not safe. Tamir Rice reminded me of that.

I worry because he is sensitive. Too sensitive. He cares about other children, but I’m trying to thicken his skin. Teach him how to trash talk. Teach him how to defend himself.  To stand for right and be a good human being. But, he’s experienced bullying. No matter how much you try to protect your children they may fall victim to bullying. Bullies can hurt you beyond belief. Gabriel Taye’s death reminded me of that.

Do I overreact and not let him play in the neighborhood? Yep. Do I live in a bad neighborhood? Nope. But, I don’t trust strangers. Not with my Munch. I don’t leave him in the car. He begs to stay sometimes. He doesn’t like going in the store. Fear grips me but I make him come. Someone could steal the car, take it. I don’t care. Not my son though. So, I never leave him alone. We have to be vigilant about protecting our children. Kingston Frazier reminded me that my being overprotective is not in vain.

All the things that I can give and experiences I can provide that will make him a well rounded young man may not help him. I’m already looking into the top high schools in the area. A better opportunity. A future. A chance to go to college and make something of yourself. You are better than you think and smarter than you’ll ever know. Be of good character. Stay out of trouble. Pray. Give it to God. Lead by example. All those things may not be enough. Lt. Richard Collins III taught me that.

These are perilous times. So many tragedies. So many parents having to bury their children. It’s not supposed to be that way. We are supposed to smile as our children get married. Laugh and love on our grandchildren. Be their support system when bad things happen. We’re not supposed to bury our children. We’re not supposed to pick out suits or a coffin.

Life isn’t fair. I know this. Tragedy happens everywhere. I get this. But, oh I pray for better days. We need them.

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

For Manchester

Last night I went to dinner with a friend of mine and he asked me had I heard about the bombing in England at an Ariana Grande concert. No, I hadn’t heard. It wasn’t playing on the news in the bar where we were and I couldn’t imagine anyone bombing a concert. A concert of a young pop star.

I was wrong. I went home and picked up my tablet to see the news flash notifications that I had missed.  The New York Times, Washington Post and CNN were all reporting the bombing. What kind of person would bomb a concert with children in it? What is this world coming too?

I said my prayers for the families, for England and for the world. I’m at a loss for words. How could you explain this to your children? One more thing to be afraid of. Fear of concerts and letting your children attend with or without you. Terrorism doesn’t care.

No words will ever be able to explain how 22 people died and 59 people were injured for just attending a concert. Listening to music. Isn’t music supposed to heal not hurt? What is this world coming too?

Please pray for Manchester and all the families and victims of this tragedy.

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Motivational Monday Moment – 5/22/2017

My Motivational Monday Moment is late. I know. I apologize. I wasn’t sure what to write about. I had been thinking of what I wanted to share all week and nothing was coming to me. I wrote this during lunch. I needed inspiration/clarification.

I attended a seminar today at work and I had an Aha Moment! The seminar was pretty cool. However, the seminar reminded me of all the things that I had learned before, but it was if God was reminding me of them again today. I learned that I along with many of you have biases. It’s human nature.

I know you’re probably thinking “T, I know this or I’m not bias – I love everyone”, but I would beg to differ.  Bias as a noun is…

bias (noun)

a particular tendency, trend, inclination, feeling, or opinion, especially one that is preconceived or unreasoned

Let me tell you how my bias reared it’s ugly head this weekend. I attended the Liver Walk this weekend and learned so much about people who had liver problems. In my naivete, I’ve always thought that the only people that had liver issues were those that suffered from Hepatitis C problems or those that drank (alcoholics) their liver to death. That’s it.

Never did I imagine how many people suffer different kinds of problems with their livers and they can happen out of nowhere. One gentleman came up to me and told me his story. He was older, maybe in his early mid-60’s and was very muscular. He explained that he was an athlete and he went to the doctor’s one day for his annual check-up and his doctor said his heart was too big. He told me that he knew that because he was an athlete and all athletes have bigger hearts. The doctor told him no, it’s too big. Tests were ordered and a diagnosis was given.  His heart and liver were failing. He was a double transplant recipient of both a heart and a liver. I was in awe of this man. He was telling me why he walks and raises awareness for both issues.

His story was so powerful. But, I know you’re wondering about what this has to do with my bias. Well, I’ll tell you…a man approached the stage to say why he was there and I was overwhelmed by his outward beauty. He was so hot!!! Very handsome man, but when he talked I paused. He was slow in his speech and I was thinking “Oh, he must be an athlete.” Well, he was an athlete, but when he told his story, I got smacked with the truth that I was being biased.

This beautiful man told us how he was playing football one day and suffered from heat exhaustion and when he woke up he was in the hospital. He suffered both kidney and liver failure. His kidneys recovered and his liver didn’t. He had to have a liver transplant. He had to learn to walk and talk again.

You see? I thought he was a “dumb jock” because of how he was speaking and this beautiful man was thanking us for walking because he was the recipient of a liver. You see how I was being biased right? I had to check myself. I was embarrassed. This beautiful soul could have lost his life and I was judging him not knowing he has a story.

My Motivational Monday Moment is about remembering that we all have a story. I judged this man on the way he spoke and had assumed that he was another dumb jock. Far from it. I was actually embarrassed by my thoughts. But, I wanted to share with you what I was reminded of today. We all have biases, but we can’t let them give us an unfavorable opinion of someone without having knowledge. I did.

No, I don’t like it when someone does it to me and here I was doing it myself. We all have biases and sometimes we need to remember when our biases are allowing us to craft a narrative of someone we don’t even know. I had to check myself. I was wrong. I know better. Sometimes you need a reminder that you’re better than your thoughts. I know I did.

Be encouraged. Be open. Be honest. Be loving.

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

1500 Thank You’s

Today I learned that I had more than 1500 WordPress followers. I just wanted to scream when I saw that. I’m honored you chose to follow me.

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I never believed that I would reach this milestone, but Mr. C did. He encouraged me to write and knew that others would enjoy reading what he enjoyed reading. I am thankful. I am blessed.

I could have never imagined growing this blog. The pace may be slow to others, but it works for me because I believe that everything happens in God’s time. In late October of 2015 (19 months ago) I had only 200 followers. Thank you for staying with me. Thank you for reading. Thank you for taking this journey with me.

For my new followers I write about things that matter to me. Things that have shaped my world and perspective. Things like love. From my first love, to dating, relationships and my divorce and all the things in between. I believe in love. I’m grateful for it.

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I also know pain. Pain from past abuses and broken promises. Pain of a divorce. Pain of infertility.  I write about that too.

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I write about my faith. I love God and am a follower of Christ. Super flawed and I talk about it. I struggle with making sure that my fear doesn’t overpower my faith. I struggle with a lot of things. I’m a work in progress. Each day I choose to be better. But, through it all I know that God has never abandoned me and loves me.

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I talk about social issues. Things that affect me…as a woman, as a black woman, as a mom and as a human being. I believe in the unity of all and I am blessed to have people from all different backgrounds in my tribe.

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I write about parenting. I’m a mother to a 9 year old little boy that I affectionately refer to as Munch. He is the light of my life. He’s a rising fourth grader in a French Immersion program. I’m overjoyed at his birth because he was created by God through help of medical science (I did IVF).

So, that’s my life. That’s who I am. That’s what I write about. I thank you for following and look forward to connecting with each and every one of you.

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Disclaimer: I own no rights to any photos except the picture of my son and I. All others were found on Google.com.

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

 

 

His Plan

So, we’ve all been there. Where? To the depths of hell swimming like a madman without a life jacket. Drowning. In pain. We didn’t understand how life took this rapid turn and we found ourselves in a perpetual state of hell.

It happens. It happened to me. It happens to everyone. You are not alone. You should know that …

See, that’s all we can ask. That God helps us through it. Our lives have been planned out. There will be good days and there will be bad days. We have to stay committed to knowing that our faith matters. We can’t falter in our faith when we fear the unknown.

Just breathe.

Know that everything is working for your good. You are wonderfully and beautifully made to survive any test or trial that comes your way. Be encouraged.

Just breathe.

I remember being on the floor crying out in pain asking God “Why has thou forsaken me?” Only to hear him whisper “I haven’t. Get up. It’s done.” Even when I feel like I can’t go on and take any more I try to whisper “Dear God, just give me the strength to endure.”

I breathe.

I’ve been at the end of my rope. There were times I didn’t know which way to turn or who could help me. I called on the One. The One who is always available. Who sees my tears and knows that His child is crying. He will see me through this troubled time. He will see you through your troubled times.

Breathe.

Don’t let the trouble you find yourself in define who you are. You are beautifully and wonderfully made in the Master’s image. So, you’ve made mistakes. Who hasn’t? The key is to know that there is always something bigger in store for you. Your greater is coming.

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY MOMENT – 5/1/2017

It’s the first day of a new month. The fifth month of the year. We’re almost halfway through 2017 and it feels like we just started. So, many things to tell you. Too much to share, but I wanted to inspire you this morning. How? By sharing my Motivational Monday Moment. My Motivational Monday Moment is about trusting God.

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Last week I was in a mood. A foul and painful mood. Friday, I had my break through. I wrote about it in my post Tired. I was struggling through some things that had my spirit restless, but I have to testify this morning. I have to share with you how awesome God is at reminding me that He is in the midst of all my storms.

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Last week, I was talking to Mr. C. It was the same conversation – my concerns and angst about my situation. He’d been praying for me. Trying to renew my faith because I was struggling. He’d been encouraging me to trust God. “I do” I sighed. But, I wasn’t acting like it. “Pray” he said. “I am” I told him. I sighed.

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I realized that I was being a finicky Christian. I was letting my storms blow into my life and create havoc instead of anchoring my spirit in the Lord. Man oh Man when I tell you that God has a way of reaching me when I am in the pit of despair and the depths of hell – I have to tell you that He hears all and knows all.

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It started last week and continued through Friday.  I was posting more on Twitter and Facebook than I ever had.  I was motivated, pumped and inspired because I knew that God had not forgotten me or my situation. My situation may have seemed small in comparison to what others are going through, but trust me when I tell you that it was embedded in my mind and spirit. It had caused me to become unhinged.

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But, my breakthrough came and I want to let you know that yours will come too. Don’t give up. Don’t be discouraged. This is not the end of you or your story. You have to be encouraged and know that even when you find yourself walking through hell, you need to know that God will not leave you. It says so in Psalms 23:4

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

So, my Motivational Monday Moment is to remind you to trust. No matter what hell you find yourself walking through, I need you to trust that you are not alone. Be still. Be strong and no that you should have no fear because God is with you always.

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Happy Monday loves!

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Tired

I’m tired.

Weary.

My heart aches.

My mind is racing.

My patience is low.

I don’t want to fight no more.

Fighting is exhausting.

Fighting is distracting.

I can’t be distracted.

No time.

No time for games.

No time for distractions.

No time for the fake ones.

Time matters.

This hell I find myself in is one I chose.

The moment I said yes.

I chose it.

I have to remember it.

But, I have to remember that I can change my mind.

To recognize my choices and accept my fate.

To move beyond the bullshit and give my all

To the people that matter.

To the situations that require my attention.

To the friends that love without judgement.

To the family that supports without knowledge.

To the man who promises me a healthy love.

To the job that pays my salary.

To the readers who support my talent.

To the charitable organizations that benefit from my service.

To those that inspire.

To those that encourage.

To those that believe.

Believe in me.

Even when I don’t believe in myself.

I will close my eyes tonight.

No more tears.

With praise on my tongue

I will cry out…

Can you hear me Lord?

Can you hear the pain in my heart?

Can you see the destruction of those that seek to hurt me?

Can you see that I am your faithful servant Lord?

And I will give it to Him.

I will leave it on the altar.

I will say…

I trust you Lord.

I know that you’re watching.

Intercede Lord.

Intercede.

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.