By now many of you know that I hate dating. Dating is like that movie World War Z where we’re all fighting to stay alive and hopefully if we survive the infected population of zombies (men) then we can have a good chance of finding a potential mate. It’s rough out here folks. I’m dying. I’m trying to secure a viable cure for this dating epidemic by curbing some men early with their bad behaviors.
You may be asking yourself “T, it’s been a minute since I’ve dated, what possible bad behaviors could someone have that is making you curb them?” I’m happy you asked dear here are the 5 bad behaviors that will get a man curbed quickly when trying to date me.
1 – Sending Penis Picks
Do we really have to say this again? I mean, I get your excited by your penis size but didn’t your parents teach you to have some respect and don’t send penis pictures to strangers? Nope, well I’m telling you. Stop it. No one cares. Your penis is average and in some cases below average with an erection. Are you proud of your 4 inches? You want to show the world. Ugh! I hate that. Sending a penis picture will get you curbed. I am usually pretty polite about saying “I don’t care about your penis” and cut off communication but seriously I heard the best response from Derrick Jaxn’s video on Facebook earlier this week. He said that a woman said that she sends a penis picture back to the man. A picture of a penis that is much bigger than his. I died laughing and honestly I probably will have to find that kind of picture and send it to these crazies.
2 – Not Calling
Do I really have to tell a grown man that he should call me when I give him my phone number? Why ask for it? So, we can spend everyday texting? If we can’t have a phone conversation at least twice a week then we can just stop all communication. Not being able to call me will get you curbed. I mean think about this…we are supposed to be getting to know each other. Whether that be in person or over the telephone dating is an interview process and we need to find out how well you can communicate verbally. Why can’t a man pick up the phone and call? The most common response is that he’s busy. Umm, so am I. But, if you’re that busy then why are you even asking for my number? Stop lying and wasting time sir.
3 – Mentioning Sex too Early
If we’ve not dated a minimum of 6 times and had a passionate kiss that made our hormones race like teenagers why o’ why would you think that I want to hear about what you will do to me sexually? I don’t. You don’t even know if I have all my body parts! LOL. It’s true. I hate when men send me detailed text messages about what they want to do sexually to me. That kind of behavior will get him curbed. Furthermore, this kind of behavior has me all up in my head wondering what makes you think that we’ll ever get close? I hate this. I had a guy do this the other day. He sent me this long detailed text message about what he wanted to do to me sexually. We had only been on one date. One. He spent the whole time telling me how beautiful and classy I am and that it was the perfect date. I didn’t know what to say when he sent me that text other than: Look this is really freaking me out and I feel like you’re just looking for a quick f*ck and are viewing me as a piece of p*ssy instead of the wonderful woman that I am. He quickly replied “Sorry, it will never happen again.” I haven’t heard back from him.
4 – Texting over Everything
This goes in hand with #2. If you want me to know how well you text then bravo you get a big applause, but texting too much gets you curbed. I don’t have time to sit on my phone responding to your list of questions regarding me, my personality, relationship goals or anything else. I have a job. I have a child. I have a life. Heck, I barely have time to keep up with my blog so why do you think that I would have time to text you all day? If you can’t call, you shouldn’t text me. And stop your daily good morning texts. I haven’t talked to you in weeks – Why the hell do I need you to wish me good morning?
5 – Thinking I’m Going to Pay for the Dates
It’s 2019. I’m 44. I wasn’t born rich. I didn’t watch money go on trees. I grew up and dated men who paid for dates. I am not paying for dates unless I choose too. If you ask me this up front, I’ll tell you that I’m not paying and I will curb your a*s. I’m not doing it. I told ya’ll that Mr. C paid for 95% of the dates. I have the same expectation for my son. I don’t want him living off a woman and not paying his way. I want him to be able to afford to date a woman or slow his step and wait until he gets into a position to date. I’m not paying. Stop asking. Stop trying to make me believe that is how you were raised when you are 44 and older. Your parents taught you better. You don’t have to break the bank and you can do affordable and cool dates and I will appreciate your effort and ingenuity. But, that appears to be too much for some.
So, what’s next? I’m back at navigating this dating world and knocking off zombies (men). I’m spending time my friends and just getting ready for the summer. Life goes on. I’m honestly happy and thankful for the opportunities to meet new people and I hope that I find someone that makes my heart flutter every time he kisses me. I’m still optimistic.