Tuesday Thoughts

Hello Good People!

How are you this Tuesday afternoon? You’ve been missed. I took some time off to regather and regroup my spirit. I needed to unwind and sleep. Mama is tired.

School is ending in two weeks for Munch and I’m planning summer activities, camp and work (yes, my baby will be working on Math and Reading this summer). I’m excited by the prospect of new adventures and no rushing to school and work. Less traffic is always a plus. For whatever reasons, there tend to be less cars on the road during the summer.

But, I’m thankful.  I’m thankful for great opportunities. I’m thankful for my job. I’m thankful for family and friends.

I got to spend time with my niece this weekend. Munch hadn’t seen her since Christmas because she was away at college. She is heading to another state to spend the summer with her dad next week so the time was precious. There were fights, arguments and lots of hugs and playing. He missed her. They are like siblings. He told her that she was a moron. She told him that his belly was fat. He cried.

I laughed. I explained that when you choose to call people names, you can’t get mad when they call you names back. The key is to not do it. Let your words be positive and productive and not cruel and hurtful. Alas, they made up and he fell asleep on her. It was beautiful.

There was peace.

The peace reminded me that even in my worst days when I feel like I can’t catch a break and things are not working…there is always love. Love between cousins. Love between parents and children. Love with your significant other. Love from your family and friends.

I am loved.

You are loved.

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

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Weekend Coffee Share – 8/27/2016

If you and I were having coffee, I would tell you that I can’t believe that it is the last weekend in August. I would invite you in and sit down on the couch and invite you to curl up your feet while I get us two big glasses of iced coffee. It’s so hot here in DC that all you need is a cool glass of something going down your throat.

If you and I were having coffee, I would tell you that I survived the first week of back to school. Munch’s bus picked him up on the second day and has arrived each day thereafter. Albeit late, but at least he arrives to school safely. I would tell you that he’s disturbed that no one has asked to be his friend yet. He’s having a hard time adjusting to the fact that he doesn’t have a best friend after a couple of days.

If you and I were having coffee, I would tell you that I’m tired and looking forward to a relaxing weekend of doing nothing. I would tell you that while I’m optimistic that this won’t occur, I kinda hope to be able to just wash my clothes, my car and clean my house. Oh and to drink wine and sleep off and on while watching A Different World on Netflix. It probably won’t happen, but a girl can hope right?

If you and I were having coffee, I would tell you how last weekend I took my niece to college. I said good-bye to my first born non-biological child. I didn’t cry. I haven’t talked to her and I’m happy she is adjusting to college life. I will send her a text and remember how I was at that age. I will laugh at the pictures she posts on Instagram and not comment because I don’t want to embarrass her. I will smile thinking about how I can’t wait to see her soon. Maybe I’ll take a trip to the mountains and take her to dinner.

If you and I were having coffee, I would tell you that I really enjoy the Daily Posts that I’ve been participating in. I just discovered my love of fiction and I’m hoping you are enjoying the posts as well. Mr. C says “Oh, that was another dark and gloomy post.” I laugh. He only likes uplifting or realistic pieces. It’s cute though. However, life isn’t all happy go lucky and I like exploring the topic through a different lens. I hope that you will comment and let me know what you think one way or the other.

If you and I were having coffee, I would tell you that I have grown my followers by 50 in the last two weeks and I’m so excited. I would say welcome to my new followers and invite you into this blogging journey with me. I write everything about my life from parenting, dating, relationships, faith, poetry and short stories. I love people, life and I believe in humanity. One day we’ll get it right.

If you and I were having coffee, I would cut the visit short because I have to pack for my upcoming drive to Tennessee this Thursday morning. Can you believe it? I’m driving home with my mom and my Munch. Munch said it will take a 1,000 days but I’m sure it won’t. I promise to keep you posted on my road trip drama with my mama.  See you next time love!

 

weekendcoffeesharelogo

This post is part of the #WeekendCoffeeShare with Part-time Monster.

Meaning

Sometimes the load gets to heavy to carry. The weight of the world rests on my shoulders and I feel as though no one can see my pain. I struggle to maintain my sanity when my world turns upside down. To be able to distinguish between fact and fiction when I’m looking through the glass and trying to find meaning.

Is it supposed to be hard? Am I supposed to know what to do with my life? How can I get out of this situation I put myself in? When will the pain end? Does anyone see me crying? Why can’t people stop being so dang selfish and offer to just be there?

All those thoughts overwhelm me and the voices start to tell me that no one is there and that it is all on me. I don’t know if it’s true. I’m grasping for something to hold on to because I can’t seem to get my bearing. I need to find solace. I need to find my strength and regain my balance.

Black women are supposed to be strong. We’re not supposed to show the cracks in our armor. We are supposed to heal. A mental health break is for fools they whisper. Pick up your armor and keep fighting the voices yell. I can’t. I’m too tired. I can’t keep fighting. Am I having a mental breakdown?

I need to get a grip. So, I place my weary body in bed and reach for my Ipad. I need to read. To lose my mind in the pages of someone else’s fiction. To stop trying to fix my life when I can’t stop crying. I click on the Kindle app and read and soon I feel my pain ease.

My mind subsides. The voices become a whisper and I find solace in the pages of an author’s pain. The characters become kindred spirits and I see color. Color is calming. It claims my spirit and tells me that this too shall pass.

I like color. I like reading. I like being. Right here. With you. In this fantasy.