Category: 2017

teen dating-miss-damn right

Do I Miss Teen Dating? Damn Right I do!

Posted on by Jay Thomas

I once read a post about teen dating that made me reminisce about [my] past teen dating days… (which weren’t that long ago) by the way.  I instantly started to compare how innocent dating was back then, to how ridiculously superficial and confusing it is now.

  1. Social Media pressure
  2. Reality TV pressure
  3. Entertainment (rappers and vocalist) pressure
  4. Subliminally sexual images and messages everywhere
  5. The pressure our young teenage girls have to look a certain way

And the list goes on.

So What Do I Miss Most About Teen Dating?

What do I miss most about my teen dating days? Did we even date? Or did we just venture out into a concrete habitat and pursue convivial activities completely bereft of thoughts of our affinity for one another?
However, once the seed was planted (like the serpent telling Adam and Eve they were exposed) we started to feel the pressures of teen dating (“oooohhh ya’ll go together!!!”). It took away from the sweet and blissful innocence you felt when you would stroll around town together, venturing to the corner store. Me combining pennies and nickels to purchase a pack of Lemonheads I would gladly share with her.
Innocent laughter about random yet imaginative thoughts of days past and fictitious accounts of days to come. It was all there. I miss that. After hours of conversation, with some hesitation, finally conceding to the overwhelming narcolepsy weighing my eyelids south and shading my brown iris like a lunar eclipse. We agree to end this night, but neither of us wants that to be, so we, decide to play a game of, “count to three.”
“No you hang up,”
“No, you hang up,”
“On 3 hang up.”
I miss shared yet recalcitrant thoughts on paper of potentialities and possibilities of a future with her. Sweet looks from afar that garner a smile with a quick turn of her head, hiding as is if she was in a haze. Nervous tension and apprehension, hoping you didn’t notice her gaze. Indeed, I miss those ways… I reminisce over those days.
College-ruled sheets of virginal text, and solicitations of  where we’d meet.
Do you like me?
Check, yes or no
Intertwined hands, smiles you could see from a distant land…
You damn right I’m your man. I want the whole school to understand…(and see) you’re with me.
This wasn’t fantasy, it was my reality… today it’s fallacy.  Destroying the possibilities, of what-could-be, so organically, flowing end-lessly.
So I re-peat… “Do I Miss Teen Dating? Damn Right I do!”
Cause’
That’s when it felt free.
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Jay Thomas is an incredible blogger that commented on one of my posts last year and we’ve been following each other every since. He’s an incredible writer and lover of love. Isn’t that amazing? I love love too so it was awesome to realize that we have a lot in common. He will be a featured contributor to my blog in 2018 and I wanted to give you an idea of this man’s perspective on love. He’s real. He’s true. He’s open. To read more about Jay and to follow his blog please click here: Relationships Etcetera
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I AM STRONG & BRAVE

Posted on by Tikeetha T

This particular Saturday morning, I’m looking at my 2-year-old son playing with puzzles. He looked at me and said: “Mommy, this is too hard, but I got it.”

All parents have read about bed or morning routines. Even Daniel Tiger and Elmo have this covered. My family has always believed in the power of words or confessions. My mother confessed to my sister every morning: “You are the head and not the tail, above only and not beneath.”  I believe (& think my SiSi would agree) that these words resonated in her mind when she wanted to throw in the towel.

Every night we pray for my son to be thankful for family, friends, and provisions. But additionally, I pray (out loud) for my son to be strong & brave. I never saw that world as a scary place until I became a mother. These glasses of parenting put a filter on everything as terrifying. Most importantly, I know the world will be unkind to a young black man. The joy he has today is delicate and needs to be preserved. I want to protect him, cover him, shield him… but I know I can’t. I can only pray that he always finds the strength to be joyous, strength to trust God and Strength to be brave enough to keep moving forward when the world will feel cold.

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I guess, I never meant for this reflection to be so emotionally heavy. I am generally not that type of writer, but out of your heart flows the truth. Take the time to speak life over the children your world. Nieces, nephews, God-children,  neighbors, & friends every child deserves to hear that they are loved and amazing.

With Love;

Southern Fried Mommy

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This post was shared by Southern Fried City Girl. I love her blog. She’s one of the newer blogs that I discovered and I’m happy to share her work. She’s a wife, a mom, a woman of faith and everything in between. Go follow her at her wonderful blog called: Southern Fried City Girl

letter-ex-girlfriend-pain

A Letter To My Ex Girlfriend

Posted on by Jay Thomas

He’s bitter

No… I’m a man who’s just irate…  and a letter won’t cure the nausea I’m feeling—because of all the bullshit I-ate.

You fed me lie after lie, line after line, and I was mouth wide open thinking you were mine.

That’s fine… this letter is for my time.

You need some damn help. I tried, I fought, I cried, I wasted good years… it’s time to put you back on the shelf.
Even though I am a fighter, I get sick of bobbin’ and weavin’… besides, we got this baby on the way, and I ain’t leavin’ (even though you said I would)

Or maybe I should leave? I’ll be judged though… as a man, they always do. To be honest? I’m tired of hearing about what women go through. Men go through things too! We deal with bull from women all the time. I guess they think we’re immune because we don’t cry… [in the open], write breakup songs, and whine.

We carry this shit.

Thousands of men walking around out there feeling like crap. Feeling like no one understands them. So we carry it all like a stomach ulcer (don’t date us though… cause it’s a trap).

But we can handle it all because we are a man right?

No.

Like a rusty sword stuck in its sheath, No matter how hard we try to pull out, we’re a mess underneath.

Dripping sweat, selfish sex, and lack of reciprocation. So what’s next? You roll over and act like me pleasing you is all I get. SHET!

Lost because this man, staring in the mirror is-not-me. Who is he? He’s changed, with the heart of a man defeated by a woman who stole his destiny… selfishly.

“You’re the selfish one, not me.”

You say that, and you’re definitive. Your innate narcissism is apparent each time you speak. Each utterance of that trash makes me feel pain in my [peen]. I can’t even get it up when I think of the fact that I have to deal with you til’ he’s 18.

I hate you! No, I love you, No… I hate you.  No… I can’t stand the woman you became. The woman who blames everyone for everything but refuses to acknowledge the pain [you] brought to the game.

You don’t trust me? Chick you’re just insecure. And I damn sure don’t trust you! All we have is time. But the baby is coming, and your lack of communication makes me believe the baby isn’t mine.

Call after call, you don’t answer. You don’t return the messages you receive. How can you blame me for feeling the way I do? About a broken relationship that never became whole, and was fake as hair weave.

You better believe… I wanted to break up. The day you called and told me you were pregnant, I planned to leave you in the dust… no fuss, no more lust.  Just realness from a man that had enough.

letter-ex-girlfriend-pain
Photo Credit: Sam Burris

No support, no encouragement, just selfish ambitions of a ring.  So blind to the fact that I needed YOU more than anything.

I dropped friends, never hung out, stayed at home, shared in the [responsibility] despite what I was going through… what the hell did you want from me?

You never listened, always did things your own way. Then, when everything blew up in your face, you want to cry and say… some slick shit that only pushed me away.

Fakin’ like you’re a good woman. Based on what—cause you cooked? That’s not a good look—[understand] when you’re in relationship with a man like me, it’s your ability to feed my soul that keeps me hooked.

When I found out about the inappropriate text conversations, planned late night visits, and lunch dates with the friend from your past… I almost lost it. Listen, it was only 3 months after our son was born, I came at you calm, asked you to confess, but your complete narcissism wouldn’t let that last.
Always redirecting and transferring energy back on me, I wanna cop a plea, Just let me be…Lord, let me flee! Please release this self-imposed pain from me.

I tried to lead you, but you’re un-lead-able. You have to be in control… un-believable.

I’ve been gone…

No, I don’t feel wrong…

This is my swan song…

Would’ve done this from the start…

I forgive you regardless…

And it’s coming from the heart.

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Jay Thomas is an incredible blogger that commented on one of my posts last year and we’ve been following each other every since. He’s an incredible writer and lover of love. Isn’t that amazing? I love love too so it was awesome to realize that we have a lot in common. He will be a featured contributor to my blog in 2018 and I wanted to give you an idea of this man’s perspective on love. He’s real. He’s true. He’s open. To read more about Jay and to follow his blog please click here: Relationships Etcetera

Kiss From Death

Posted on by Tikeetha T

He appears before you when you least expect it.  The embodiment of your heart’s deepest longings, you are enchanted.  Like a Siren luring her victim with her song, so too are you caught within Death’s grasp.  You greedily drink his words from his goblet, so tender and sweet.  Enthralled by his promise to fill the void, you are intoxicated by his poison.

Ever so gracefully, the phantom whisks his prey onto the dance floor of twilight’s masquerade.  You notice not the talons that dig deeply into your flesh, for you are bewitched.  A veil he places over your consciousness, which you gladly accept.  Numb to the wounds inflicted are you, as you dance this dance with Death.

Ensnared in his clutches, you desperately cling to idle promises.  Weary you become, as your light slowly begins to fade.  Once a star burning ever so bright, now a mere ember you are.  A shadow of your former self, you feel your spirit drifting away.  A mere shell you have now become, and you are dying.

You are drowning, engulfed in despair.  Yet, as you struggle to lift your head above the water, you manage to catch a glimpse of the phantom behind the mask.  Choose to release yourself from his enchantment, for you hold the power.  Give not into his sweet illusion, for it is merely a mirage.  I beg you, ignore not the phantom’s true identity.  For by doing so, you will be given a kiss from Death.

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This post was contributed by Feather from Beyond The Light. I stumbled on her much by coincidence as she found me in October when I did my Domestic Violence series. An incredible woman who is also a survivor of domestic violence who wishes to break the silence that shrouds survivors on a daily basis. She knows that there is hope that we can break the shackles of domestic abuse together.  Check out her blog: Beyond The Light

The Girl Next Door

Posted on by Tikeetha T

It’s not like I am some creepy dude with no life next door. But that’s what you were thinking, right?

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credit to and found at https://giphy.com/gifs/pretty-kszpK4XuR5gQ

Please don’t think I’m creepy but I can’t help it.

She moved in last week and I have been watching her almost every single morning. It’s not like I go out of my way to do it. Her bedroom window and balcony is directly in line with my French doors and even though there is quite a distance between the two houses, I still have a good view from the kitchen island as I drink my coffee.

She has wrecked my morning routine. After having breakfast with Nate and then sending him off to get ready for the day with niñera Alma, I used to spend that time meditating.  But instead, I am observing her, wondering where she comes from and for how long she will stay at the Wilson’s rental home. I am intrigued and not just because she is cute. And curvy in all the right places. There is just something different about her.

In the morning, her black curls suffer from a serious case of bedhead and she glides around barefoot in some kind of over-sized T-shirt, starting her day with a large mug of coffee on her balcony and looking out into the distance until it is empty.  What she doesn’t realize is that we are having coffee together.

When she is through with her coffee, she disappears for a while and reappears with a towel wrapped around her wet hair, a bathrobe hugging her body. She turns on some music but never loud enough for me to decipher what is actually playing. A smile on her face, I can see her dancing and twirling, from her bedroom to the balcony and back. I chuckle as she brushes her teeth and suddenly stops to use her toothbrush as a microphone mid-balcony. She never glances around to see if anyone is watching her and even at the odd occasion when joggers pass by at that early hour, she doesn’t miss a beat. She waves, they wave back and she continues dancing.

She doesn’t seem to have a care in the world. And just watching her somehow makes me happy. I am more than intrigued and haven’t felt that way for a long time, probably since being with Nate’s mother.

I know that she isn’t a regular tourist or vacationer.  Dressed quite chic and her wild curls tamed into a tight bun, she would disappear into the back of a black town car at 8am and resurface around 4pm.

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https://pixabay.com/en/girl-woman-fashion-clothes-heels-2607128/

Where is she going with nothing more than a fashionable purse everyday?

Since I have been spending full days in the studio on the east side of the house, I see the same town car pull up to the main community gate and so that’s how I know she gets back around 4pm...It’s not like I am some creepy dude with no life next door. But that’s what you were thinking, right?

From the heavenly scents coming from the Wilson’s house around 5pm everyday, I know that she is a good cook. Concoctions that required buttery fried onions, freshly diced tomatoes, pungent herbs…Definitely a  woman who can handle herself in a kitchen and likes real food. And from the healthy curves she has in all the right places (I said that before, didn’t I?), I can tell that she appreciates a good meal. She isn’t one of those I-will-just-have-a-salad kind of girls, she is a meat and potatoes/rice and beans type of woman. A woman after my own heart.

I noticed a few days ago that she takes walks on the beach at sunset, adorned in workout clothes and ear plugged into her cell phone tight within her grasp.

I need to meet her and somehow invite her over for Christmas dinner with us.

And that’s when I decide to take Nate for a walk before his bedtime to accidentally on purpose bump into her.

All Rights Reserved ©2017 Marquessa Matthews.

Originally posted on April 13, 2015, adapted December 2017

Disclaimer: I have no copyrights to the song and/or video and/or hyperlinks to songs and/or videos and/or gifs above. No copyright infringement intended.

This post was submitted by Marquessa Matthews. She is an incredible story teller, writer, and woman. Please check out her blog at incredible blog at Marquessa Matthews

Monday Notes: Men

Posted on by Tikeetha T

Great post on dating and relationships and what we women do when it comes to men. Please check out this awesome post by KE and her website: KE Garland I promise you’ll love her blog.

K E Garland

img_2774I have a lot of thoughts. Conversations occur. People ask for advice. People share things about their lives. I overthink the conversation, advice, or experience, and voila! A thought occurs. So, I jot it down in my notes section in hopes of writing about it on a future date. I have 221 notes on my phone. I figured the future is now lol. Here’s my first one:

I’ve listened to how my male friends talk about women and how they interact with them. I also listen to and observe how women interact with men. Sometimes it’s different.

Men don’t treat every woman like she’s their future wife. They don’t treat every relationship like there’s an impending wedding. Men seem to know which women are so-called “wife material” and which ones are not ready to commit. Consequently, they seem to treat each “type” of woman accordingly. Now, I’m not saying this…

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Merry Christmas To You All!

Posted on by Tikeetha T

Merry Christmas to each and every one of you! I’m sorry for the late post, but I really just got up. Munch woke me up for the first time super early and I was exhausted. We played. He opened gifts and we laid down together to watch a movie and fell back to sleep.

It was great. We’re cooking dinner and playing with his new toys waiting on the rest of the family to arrive. It is the greatest time of the year.  There’s nothing more perfect than being with family and friends this day. Being with the people that love and support you and remind you that you are loved. It’s one of my favorite things.

So, I encourage you to remember that. You are loved. You are blessed and you are needed. Remember that it is not about the gifts, but the fellowship with family because the real reason for the season is Jesus.

As you may recall, I’m taking a blogging break until January 2nd. I am going to be checking in and reading your posts to get back in the habit. But, I’m officially off until the new year. I am spending time with Munch.

In my absence, I will be sharing wonderful posts by some great bloggers. Please check them out. They are amazing and each and every one of them would love to hear from you. Share their posts, comment and follow. Be brilliantly engaged!

Okay, that’s it. Munch is staring me down. He’s actually waiting for me to finish up this post because he wants me to help him put his toy together and play. I have an incredible boy that reminds me how blessed I am. Let me go and play with my son. I love you all. I wish you the Merriest of Christmases!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year 2017

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.