Let me start off by saying that I do a dang great job of minding my own business. I had to learn that everything is not for me to worry about, handle, persuade, involve myself or fix. It’s not an easy task all the time. Sometimes I want to interfere and then I have to remind myself that each person is different. If someone wants my help then I will help. Other than that all I can do is listen, love and support whatever decision the person makes.
That goes with parenting too. I’ve gotten some of the best advice from parents and you fellow bloggers about parenting fails, mistakes and fears. You open up your hearts and share your truths and offer suggestions that empower me to know that this is not easy, but it will be okay.
Here’s an example:
My post last week about Is it Time for Music? got some wonderful parenting advice and some skepticism (LOL, my sister friend KE) and I truly appreciated it. I don’t know everything and I can’t begin to fathom it, but hearing people suggest the following was fine for me. Why? Because these bloggers have no malice. They are not being judgmental parents. They are giving me a different perspective and lens to look at. I value that. I honestly do.
What happens when it is not as wonderful as you fellow bloggers. When other parents criticize your ability to parent. Is it right? Is it wrong? Before getting your panties in a bunch let’s remove those that are abusing their children from the bunch. You want to judge those parents, go right ahead.
If you’re a good parent who takes care of your child/children and do the best you can, when did it become acceptable to be criticized by your peers? Most people will insist that parenting is a trial and error job. You just “go with it” and hope you don’t mess your children up too bad. You will make mistakes. You will feel like the worst parent in the world. You’re not. You just have to keep trying.
Trying. Isn’t that what we’re all doing? Hoping to not mess our kids up and leave them stronger, wiser and better than we were? If that’s true then why are we having to defend our parenting choices or styles? I don’t agree with helicopter parenting, but that doesn’t mean that I’m going to bash you if you choose to do so. You know what’s best for your child. Not me.
What is prompting my outrage and rant? Last week I was catching up on some posts and read some disturbing comments on a fellow bloggers post. Emily at Stress Free Mommies posted about 7 things to do in the hospital after giving birth and received some very judgmental comments. Take a look:
Disturbing right? Thank God for this wonderful expectant mom to say this:
Finally, the voice of reason! We have to do better people! We have to stop trying to judge other parents. What about the situation that happened last week at the Cincinnati Zoo with the child falling into the gorilla habitat? The zoo decided to shoot the gorilla. Whether or not you agree with the decision is your choice, but the parents are being criticized.
Are you kidding me? A child was with a gorilla who may or may not have been in danger (depending on your perspective), but he needed to be rescued. The zoo made the decision to shoot the animal. Not the parents. The mother sounded scared that her child was in the gorilla’s space. On a video that is circulating, you can hear her telling her child it will be okay.
But, it doesn’t matter to some. She was a bad mother right? She couldn’t watch her kid. Poor Harambe. The parents are irresponsible (not the zoo for not having gates high enough). What kind of parents don’t know where their children are at every moment?
A real one. There I said it. A real parent. You take your eyes off your child for a second and your child runs. Darts in front of a moving car. Hides under the clothing racks. Runs in the store. The same people that scorn and say they are perfect are judging you.
So, you put your kids on a leash. Oh, you’re inhumane. You’re treating your children like their animals. You need to teach your children to be responsible and not run away. Umm, how many parents have never had a 2 or 3 year old drop their hand and take off running? Please raise your hand.
Everyone has. Let’s stop being a judgmental bunch of babbling idiots and let’s support each other as parents. It’s hard. It’s rewarding and we’re doing the best we can. We will make mistakes and you know what? It’s okay. We are a village. Let’s practice that village mindset.