2016 advice children our children parenting relationships victim violence

Malicious Comments

Hey Folks,

Can I ask a question? What do you do when you receive malicious comments on your site that are hate filled? Do you publish them? Do you respond to ignorance or do you ignore?

The reason that I’m asking is because I received this comment from my post on the transgender bathroom issue: My 2 Cents: Transgender Restroom Issue

Here’s the comment I received this weekend:


All those transgender are no more than a pervert and lovers of perversion sexual immoral and sexual immorality.
Now there is no cite that can even prove that a person is even born in the wrong body, for it is impossible to be born in the wrong body.
It is just evil and wrong if a person says that it should be okay for a boy to use the girls bathroom and it is just wrong for a girl to use the boys’bathroom.
Now if you like the idea of having a girl using the boys’ bathroom them why not say there is no such thing as a sex crime, for the same thing should be correct if you like the idea of having a boy us the girls’ bathroom and say there should be no sex crime as well.
Are you saying that rape should be legal too if a boy is to be allowed to use the girls’ bathroom. Is rape to be allowed if a girl is to be use the boys’ bathroom?
Those that are saying it is and there is no harm allowing a girl to use the boys’ bathroom are saying rape is legal, and by allowing a boy to use the girls’ bathroom the very same thing.
The people that agree that a girl should be allowed to use the boys’bathroom happen to say it is okay for anyone to view the girl’s private body parts too. The ones that agree that a boy can use the girls’ bathroom are saying it is okay to view a boy’s private body parts too.
Okay now that must be the truth to what I am seeing in these post that happen to agree and say it is okay, for they are the perverts that love the idea of having sex crimes legals.
Now you cannot have it two ways, for either you like sex crimes or being a pervert say it is okay to allow boys to use the girls bathroom and a girl to use the boys bathroom and to have and allow others to view the opposite genders private body parts.
I am against the idea of having a girl use the boys bathroom and the boys using the girls bathroom because of the reason that in order to prevent rape and unwanted viewing of a private body parts or either a boy or a girl. I feel that we should protect the children from such things and the perverts of the world.
The one problem with having a girl use the boys bathroom is how does she pee standing up?
That is right I would never want to see a girl in the men bathroom when I am in there using it.

Now, I don’t believe that everyone should agree on everything. I know and respect differences of opinions, but what I don’t like is hate. Why would you ever refer to transgenders as “perverts and lovers of perversion sexual immoral or sexual immorality?” That’s not true. That’s hateful and the person that responded needs a reality check.

I was wondering if I should approve the comment and let all my readers/bloggers respond to this hateful imbecile? I mean would you do it? Would you stand up for what is right?

Here’s my response to the person who posted this:

Sir, I’ve used a man’s bathroom when the line at the ladies room was around the corner and I had to go really bad. I didn’t stand up. I actually went in the stall and hunched over the toilet seat afraid I’d catch something. That didn’t make me perverted, but smart. I had to pee. So, guess what…pee is what I did.

As I said in my post, I still have my 8 year old son come to the ladies room with me for the most part because I’m worried about pedophiles not transgenders. I don’t want a man who is a pedophile looking at my son. I don’t let him shower after swim class. I take him to the family bathroom and dry him off and we shower at home. You’re worried about transgenders? You should be doing more to protect the children from the pedophiles that are lurking in our society. Better yet? Your own neighborhood or family. Those sickos are not transgender so please stop confusing it.



  1. people are entitled to their opinion but this is your blog and if it seriously offends you – it may offend the people who you blog with. I follow your blog and I agree with you. I hate injustice, inequality and ignorance. If it continues I would bar the comments – if it is a one off then sometimes people who read your blog may feel the way I do – or you do and put this person in his/her place. Debate is good but not everyone can see the bigger picture and that is when things get petty and it gets personal. Go with your gut. xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi, Tikeetha, it’s disturbing to see ignorant and hate-filled messages and it is difficult to know how (or whether) to respond. One thing I heard during the Democratic Convention speeches last night resonated with me: “When they go low, we go high.” I like to think that a calm and reasoned response (such as yours) will sometimes get through the hate and fear. Attacking back just escalates and fuels the hate. Somehow acknowledging that we all share the planet and want what’s best for it may someday break through the wall of hate. So sorry you had to deal with it.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. So true. When FLOTUS said that I thought, “Wow, if they can do it after all that they’ve been through since taking office, we all can endure.” I just wish we would all do better in realizing that we are one. Thanks so much Donna!

      Liked by 2 people

  3. I think you should publish it, and of course with your response. Your readers should be able to read what other people think, no matter how hateful it is. In this case, at least now I know who I should watch out for, and ru away from, lol.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. That crap goes straight to my trash bin. There is enough of it in the world already without letting it stand in my space! (I have gotten pretty liberal about this recently.)

    Liked by 2 people

  5. The ignorance of some of those hiding behind a keyboard. In the past I have been known to send them links where they can start their own page & piss off. They can say divisive things, they can engage is rhetoric, hate speech…they can even make up stories like Stephen King or Nicholas Sparks. They have their opinion & feelings which is why you have a comments section. However, leave it up or Thank them for the insight & “well” thought out response. By “well” thought out I mean cue card rhetoric. Anyhow, I’ve never taken down comments but I have a drop down list on my magazine for rants. I hate writing those but they are required seasonally for my sanity. You don’t have to publish your thoughts or respond. I promise that a lot of your readers will take decimate them!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. In my early days of blogging I would get completely bent because of hateful comments, but now I simply send them to spam (not trash) so that future comments from the same person go to spam as well. The internet has become the breeding ground for those with keyboard courage and it takes up too much of my energy to deal with them.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. OOOOHHHH Good question Sis and Great Post!

    Honestly, as you implied there is a major difference between a simple disagreement and a comment that is steeped in viciousness.

    If a person respectfully disagrees with me that’s fine. Of course, I’m gonna respond likewise; just a healthy debate. No harm-no foul.

    But, when you resort to calling people names and spewing hate, you get’s no love on my blog and you go straight to trash. I just don’t want to give that kind of energy a platform.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I’m a big fan of the idea of free speech and it’s important that government not restrict with the exception of things like you can’t shout fire in a crowded theater. But that’s the government. This is your blog and your space and you are under no obligation to provide them a space to say such things.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. You responded to his ignorance. Don’t give his words power by posting it to give him his 15 minutes. Your response was very well put.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Thankfully, I’ve never had such a comment on my blog, but I like to take these moments to extend grace to the other person. i agree with those who have commented above. It is your blog and your rules. I also agree that you should delete the comment. But, if it is a regular person on your blog, I would also send them a private message saying while you appreciate that every has the right to free speech and their own opinion, it does not fit with your blog so it was deleted. I would thank them so reading and sharing their mind, and possibly encourage them to keep commenting but in a more respectful way next time.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Sadly destructive criticism is what lingers on the internet. You have to understand its your page, your space, whether you approve or not is up to you, but never let such comments get to you not to talk of hurting you. I may not agree with someone who believes in being a trans, however it gives me no reason to bring them down. I always say if you cannot make someone feel better, don’t add to their sorrows. Paedophiles scare me a whole lot, jeez. But saying trans are paedophiles and perverts is outright stupidity. That person needs to see a psychiatrist, their thought process is already perverted 😱. That being said, I just nominated you for the MakeItUltra awards here, feel free to accept or decline please, I would understand. 😎😊https://blog.mariajob.me/2016/07/27/makeitultra-award-explore-original-blogs/

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Your blog, your space, your rules. This is the kind of comment that goes so far off that I might not even waste my breath and delete, especially if it’s not a regular reader. Utter foolishness! Then again if I wanted a little fun, I might go all “Roland Martin vs Wendy Williams” on it. 🙂 Great response!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Thank you for sharing, Tikeetha.
    I liked your reply to the misinformed hater.
    Personally I would post the comment on my page for others to respond to. If you let a person continue in there harmful manner of thinking, it becomes more dangerous for those of the hated group to express their feelings and opinions.
    Also, I like to prove people wrong with facts whenever possible, so I would immediately post some web articles on what they are spewing venom about, proving them wrong if possible.
    Hope this gives you an idea.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Thank you for sharing, Tikeetha.
    I really liked your reply to the misinformed hater.
    Personally, I would post the hateful comment and let my followers comment on it. If the hateful people are allowed to go on ignored, this makes it harder for the hated group to be safe in freely expressing their feelings and opinions.
    Also, I like to use facts to dismiss my critics, so I would immediately post web article links about good and helpful trans people.
    Hope this gives you an idea.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you. Yep, I don’t have time for haters or their malicious comments. I’m all for inclusiveness and it’s okay if you feel differently, just don’t comment to me and think you’re swaying me over to your hate filled side. Not going to happen.

      Liked by 1 person

  15. This guy is a WordPress troll. Here’s what he commented on one of my blog posts about raising a gender creative young son, and how I responded to him:

    FRIENDSOFTERRYVIRGILSITE July 22, 2016 at 5:24 pm
    Transgender is a lie and your son is a liar and has no integrity. You are a evil and bad parents for even allowing your very evil son to wear a dress at all and you should be ashamed of you son and yourself for being an evil and bad parent to do such evil on your son. You are a very disgrace to parenthood. Shame on you you very wicked and very evil parent.
    Seeing that you are a type of parent to love to see your son and have your son as a pervert this must mean to you are a pervert and a lover or perversion. Do you and your family what to be known as a pervert family or a lover of sexual immoral and sexual immorality? The answer is yes if you let your son wear a dress. Now you can see what others are thinking?
    It is very evil and sick to have your son even say that he is a girl and wearing girls’ clothing.
    Your son was born a male therefore you must teach and have him live the lifestyle of a male that he is. There is a huge difference between the gender of a male and female.
    I am a owner of a business. I will not and shall not even hire a male that wants to even wear a dress or one that claims to be a transgender, or anyone that would happen to agree with your ideas.

    MARTIE July 23, 2016 at 4:31 pm

    friendsofterryvirgilsite: I’d like to address your concerns. My writing on this topic has been featured multiple times on the front page of both The Huffington Post, Scary Mommy, and The Good Men Project, it has been read before live audiences, on a very well-respected radio program, and on YouTube (internationally), among other well-respected programs, as well as “liked” and shared and retweeted on social media over a million times. So, the fact that you are “a owner of business” and would never “hire a male that wants to even wear a dress” is of absolutely no consequence to me, my son, or the rest of my family. I have plenty of support, including complete strangers who have reached out to me to tell me that my writing has “changed their mind for the better,” and that my writing has inspired them to “live another day.” What have you done to change someone’s life for the better?

    So first, let me say that in no way does my family need to worry about people like you, or gracing your business with our service. Ever.

    Specifically, though, to address your comment: I never used the word “transgender” to describe my son, who wears dresses occasionally because they’re more comfortable. So, right off the bat, you have already negated your ill-informed argument about “transgender is a lie” (though that’s not even a gramatically correct statement and I shudder reading it). My child is not transgender, but I’d have no problem with it if he were.

    You seem to have a basic misunderstanding about the gender spectrum in general. Allow me to educate you a bit. There are three hallmarks of a person being transgender, which are the following: a person having insistence, persistence, and consistency in stating they are a different gender from the one they are assigned at birth. I clarified, specifically enough for the naked eye to read, that my child is not transgender. He is gender creative – something entirely different.

    Also, if you’d like to go back and edit your comment on my blog so that it uses correct grammar and punctuation, and actually makes some sort of coherent, logical sense, we might have a dialogue. Otherwise, if I publish is “as is,” you will only embarrass yourself in front of a very large audience with your very poor grasp of basic English language and vocabulary, and your lack of being able to string together a single intelligent idea.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow! How dare he? You as parents have a right to do whatever you want and for someone to be disrespectful to you, your husband and your family is unacceptable. He needs to be concerned with pedophiles and not transgender. He needs to take a dang class. Uneducated Troll.


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