Life’s Not Fair

I had an amazing weekend. Busy, but I got everything I wanted to do done. LOL. You like that right? Everything that I wanted to do. Not everything that I should have done, etc. But, it was perfect.

However, I wanted to tell you what happened when I picked up Munch from after care at school on Friday.  I missed the heck out of that little boy.  It was like my world was set right laying eyes on that beautiful kid of mine. He smiled this big grin and gave me a hug, but I knew something was wrong the minute he hugged me. What’s wrong I asked? “Nothing” he replied. I said, “Munch, I know something is bothering you baby. What is it? What is wrong?” He then told me how he got in trouble today in after care. He said that they were lining up for snack time and a young boy (in kindergarten) yelled out that he wanted to be second in line, but Munch beat him to be second in line. The little boy said to Munch, “Hey, that’s not fair. I wanted to be second.” Munch replied “Life’s not fair”. He said that the little boy was upset and then told the director. Munch said that he didn’t yell at the little boy. He said “I said it matter of fact mommy. I wasn’t mean or yelling” but the director told me that I shouldn’t have said it.

His little eyes were wide with fear. Fear that I would be mad at him. I said “Munch, you did nothing wrong. You were right. Life is not fair and as long as you weren’t mean to him, then you are giving him a dose of reality.” Was I wrong? I don’t think so.

Munch is very sensitive and feels for everyone, but I’m trying to toughen up his exterior to know that not everything will work out for you. You can try your best and still fail and you know what? That’s okay. Life’s not about being fair. Life is about doing the best you can and being a good human being. No one is going to give you anything.

But, could Munch have just given him the spot? Sure, but should he have too? The child wasn’t going to not get a snack. He just wasn’t second in line. I know that some people make think it harsh that I support what he said, but it’s cool. I believe that we should be good people, but we shouldn’t deny ourselves if we choose not too.

I would have been more hurt had the child not gotten a snack and Munch didn’t offer to share his. The reality is that I’m raising a black boy in a “post racial society” where many people think racism is dead. It’s not. He may get pulled over for being black and even though it may not be fair, you need to know how to act. He may be unfairly judged in the classroom or on the streets and it’s not fair, but it is the way it is. I’m teaching him how to survive when life’s not fair, because that’s all you can do.

What are your thoughts?

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

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Soccer Season is Here

Yay! Can you tell I’m excited? Munch is on a new team and practice began this week. I can’t wait. I ordered a custom soccer shirt to represent him at his games. Yeah, I know I’m pressed, but I’m a mom. What do you expect?

Zeta Soccer Shirt

I have learned to love soccer. Not because Munch is an exceptional player, but the benefits of teamwork. Munch can play, but if he doesn’t want to play I don’t push him. I tell him to pick one sport, any sport, and he will have to commit to a season. Being an only child I need him to experience both teamwork and the winning and losing of games. He needs to know that life is not fair and he will win some and lose some. Soccer helps him with that.

It’s funny though because when he was on a team that made it to the finals and then lost in the first game, everyone cried but Munch. It was a pretty crushing defeat. My sweet boy was more concerned about his snacks and said “I’m not upset because coach said we should have a good time. I did. So, I’m okay.” Yep – out of the mouth of babes.

Munch’s coach this year is a woman and he’s on a co-ed team. Super excited because we’ve never had a woman coach and you know I’m all about that girl power.  I reached out to her to let her know that I will help out in any way possible. They also use the Sports Illustrated app which is new to me, but I’m going to learn to adjust.  Thank God the kid doesn’t need new cleats this year. I’ve had to buy new cleats due to his foot growing for the last 4 years. Woohoo! Win for me.

I’m trying to match up the uniforms and socks exactly. It’s a pet peeve to not be matching, but we’ll see if I can do it. Munch is not to ecstatic. He thought he needed more time. I reminded him that Spring started on March 20th and games are rapidly approaching. He reluctantly agreed.

Oh, and in other news that is not soccer related, Munch’s main teacher has returned to school after being on administrative leave since mid-September. You heard that right. School ends June 9th and he returned on March 28th. Let’s see how the kids adjust. I’m super excited because I truly like this man, but I have to give it to the long-term substitute teacher…she did that thing. She was encouraging, nurturing and really interested in making sure that her children understood the curriculum. She responded to my emails and she will be missed.

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links:  Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Baltimore Blues

I am hurt over the destruction that is occurring in Baltimore. We have to be an advocate for change and nothing comes from rioting. I understand the injustices that occur in our community. I am a black woman raising a black son, but to sit here and destroy your community serves no purpose. I will not co-sign with someone who says it’s anger manifested and it serves a purpose. It does not. Because those same folks are sitting at home typing on their computers unaffected. They are not going to bring their happy butts down to Baltimore to clean up what you messed up. Stop fooling yourself.

I grew up poor. I’m not rich. Just because I don’t live in Baltimore doesn’t mean that I can’t empathize with your struggle, but burning down your community is not the answer. Haven’t we learned from the Detroit Riots, Rodney King Riots, Newark Riots and Watts Riots? What happens? The same issues you are supposedly fighting against still continue only you’ve brought down your property value and oops, no one vacations in Detroit. Money is lost. Everything in America is about economics. Will the 16 CVS stores that suffered reopen in the affected neighborhoods? Maybe or maybe not. What if they make a decision not to reopen? How will residents get their prescriptions? Not just the young people, but the elderly who walk to their local CVS? To assume people have insurance to rebuild, buy another car or fix their property damages in an already dilapidated area is to assume from the comfort of your home that they may not truly be poor. Because a lot of poor people are in essence “riding dirty” and don’t have insurance.

baltimore-riots-10People know better which is why I support the mother that whooped her son’s butt. I’m a mother. I didn’t raise you like this. Read a book and learn from our history. Are you a rioter or are you a social agent for change?

Note: To see the video, please click on the title of the post if you are viewing it in your email.

Black Lives Matter: Walter Scott

By now you’ve all heard of Walter Scott and the horrific way in which he was gunned down on Saturday, April 4, 2015. If you haven’t seen the video, I encourage you to watch it here:

Now, what’s interesting is that after high-profile incidents in the news (Cleveland, Ohio and Ferguson, Missouri) you would have thought that all officers are on a training schedule to talk about excessive force. But, apparently that is wishful thinking. Why must we keep trying to hashtag #blacklivesmatter to remind people that racism is still occurring in this country? Why do we insist on turning a blind eye and saying that we don’t see color. Let me be clear then…You don’t see me.

Because if you see me. You would see a black woman. You would see a black mother who loves her black son. You would see a curvy black woman with more booty than she wants to admit. You would see a smart black woman with a laugh that is rich, full and loud. You would see a nerdy black woman. You would see me. To say that you don’t see color means that you don’t see me.

You’re just sitting on the sidelines and ignoring the injustices that continue to occur in my community. Mine. I live in Maryland, not South Carolina. But, he is a black man who was murdered. I am raising a black son. Hopefully, my munch will grow up to be a black man. I’ve shared with you my fear that I have to teach him things that my friends who are not black don’t have to teach their children. You know things like:

  • If pulled over, always be respectful. Yes sir. No sir. Don’t ever be disrespectful.
  • You may be humiliated son by someone who doesn’t like you for the color of your skin, but let him humiliate you. I know it will hurt and it will break my heart that the humiliation is akin to the ones your ancestors suffered in slavery, but take it baby. I want you to live.
  • Always memorize a badge number and name.
  • Don’t have more than one other black male in the car with you. Too many black boys and people may get scared.

It’s a shame. We shouldn’t have to prepare our black boys for this horrific world. They’re boys. They’re children. They’re loved. They’re wanted. They’re needed. How come people can’t see that?

Walter Scott was arrested before. Mainly for unpaid child support and not showing up to court. He wasn’t a saint, but who is? Are we to determine that he deserved to be shot down 8 times in the back like a dog? Are we really going to play innocent and think that he deserved to die? That his children deserve this? His mother? His siblings?

No one deserves this. Thankfully, the officer that shot him, Michael Slager, was arrested and charged with first degree murder last week. This is progress right? A step in the right direction.

Time Magazine released their latest cover to bring light to the fact that this is still an issue. That #blacklivesmatter and we need to stop the senseless gunning down of black men. There is a war out there people! I pray that our government will get involved in trying to curtail some of this violence by allowing the federal government to investigate questionable deaths among police officers.

time-black-cover

A Song for Brennan

Because I am a mother. Because I am black. Because I feel pain. I wrote this piece.

 

“A Song for Brennan”

Almost seven years ago, I birthed a king

Difficult conception, difficult delivery, but I had faith

You see I knew death from diseases that you weren’t supposed to get

I knew what it was like to see someone you love lying in a casket as people wept

Silently

 

But I prayed

I prayed for peace

I prayed for my seed growing in my womb

I prayed for you my son

 

I imagined your face being a combination of me and your daddy’s

I imagined singing you to sleep every night with songs I created in my mind

Why?

Because Rock-a-Bye-Baby scared the hell out of me

No way were you going to be up in a tree in a cradle

With the dang wind blowing?

What kind of foolishness was that?

Mess I said

Besides I knew I would never let you fall

 

My job was to protect you

Like wings of an eagle, I would always be there

You were the angel in my womb

God’s favor over my life defined

My chance at redemption

 

I changed

I became a fanatic

Reading everything I could get my hands on

I wanted to nurture you physically, mentally and spiritually

I vowed to protect you

Always

No greater love

 

It’s been an incredible journey my sweet boy

You’ve taught me how to love beyond measure

You challenge me

You inspire me

You love me

You question me

 

But I’ve lied dear sweet boy

Not because I wanted too, but because I had too

I couldn’t tell you the truth when you asked me about the police

I smiled away my tears as allergies when you caught me crying

I laughed and kissed you and said “Mommy loves you so much”

When you questioned the sadness in my eyes the next morning

 

“Is it me Mommy?” You asked

“Are you mad at me?” You questioned

“No baby” I responded

 

Truth is love

That I’m crying for all those mothers that lose

Lose their sons

For walking home from the store

For playing in the park

For walking to school

For

For

 

Being black

Because being black in this damn world

Is killing me

It angers me

That our children are dying

That you will never know

That in the midst of my tears for injustice

That I scream the names

For Trayvon Martin, Eric Garner

Michael Brown, John Crawford,

Jonathan Ferrell, Tamir Rice and the countless others

Who have lost their life

Because my dear sweet baby boy

I want you to know that

Black lives matter

You matter