I Need You To Stop

Stop what you may ask? Please stop sending me messages in comments asking me to follow your blog. I don’t know about you, but I hate when I get comments on a post with bloggers indicating that they’ve followed me and I would like me to follow them. I need you to stop it.

Why?

I follow over 1,000 bloggers. If you follow me, please note that I may look at your blog immediately and see if something resonates within me and follow you as well. However, I’ve learned that many people follow to follow. That’s not what I do. If I follow you, I will have your posts sent to my email which means that I read about 100 or more posts a day. I don’t just follow everyone.

I currently follow many people that don’t follow me. Does it bother me? No. I follow those who I enjoy. What bothers me is if I comment on a blogger’s post and they never respond. However, that’s not the case with those that I follow.

They are responsive and that is why I keep coming back to read their posts. Follow those bloggers that you like to read. Not the ones that you are trying to get to follow you just because. Cultivate an authentic blogging relationship.

If you want to gain new followers, please find a new way other than posting a comment asking me to follow you because you followed me. Spend time getting to know me. Comment on some of the things that I write. Show me you’re actually reading what I post and I promise you that kind of engagement will always make me follow you so that I can return the favor.

What are your thoughts on this?

Motivational Monday Moment – 1/2/2017

Today’s Motivational Monday Moment is patience. I need this and I hope that I’m not alone in my desire to have more patience in 2017. It’s the first Monday of the new year and I wish for me and for you patience.

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I’m not a patient person. I try to rush things. Whether personally or professionally. You would think that having a child, I would learn patience, but I haven’t. I just get impatient when I have to wait.

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When I have to  wait on things I often times will act like a brat. Like the act of waiting is the worst thing in the world to happen to me. I can’t stand to wait. What am I supposed to do while waiting?

Ugh!

Ever felt this way?

I have. I do still. I am asking for more patience in 2017.

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I want us to calmly accept that things are happening that we can’t control and we should just be patient. Patience. We want to patiently wait for things. It’s not our time.

It’s in God’s time. So, what do we do while we wait? We keep it moving. Prayerful knowing that everything will happen in the appropriate time. Be okay if it takes 3 years to buy a house instead of the 18 months you wanted. patience-1

Be okay if you don’t get the money to go back to school. Patiently find alternatives. Refocus and prioritize your goals. Know that you have to be patient because everything in due season.

Have a positive attitude and develop your patience. It’s waiting. Positively. Not stomping your feet like a two year old.

Have you ever had to wait on something? When you finally got it was it better than you ever imagined? Yep, it’s happened to me.

I couldn’t have imagined the blessing that I would have received. I wanted one thing and got something bigger and better. It wasn’t my time to get what I wanted. Whether it be a new car. A relationship or a job. God sent it when he was ready.

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I want more patience in 2017. Patience when waiting. Patience to accept the wait. Patience to know that when I get what I want it was well worth the wait. What about you?

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Mother’s Day – 2016

Today is the day where we honor all Mother’s for their strength, grace and unconditional love. The kind of love that invokes a smile when you think about how you tried to get away with things when you were a kid. Yep, that kind of love.

I’m spending today with my Munch of course and my mom. We’re taking her out to dinner. By we, I mean me. LOL. But, I’m truly happy that I have a mom and that I am a mom. I’m by no means perfect, but there was no greater joy for me than to feel my son growing in my womb and knowing that I was blessed.

So, I wish all of you Mother’s out there a wonderful day filled with lots of love, hugs and kisses from children that are happy you’re there. Whether you gave birth, adopted, became a guardian of a child know that you are truly blessed. There’s no other, like a mother.

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Parenting 101: Don’t Give Up

This is a continuation from my Parenting 101 post on Saturday…Parenting 101: Persistence is Key

By now, my tempers are flared and we are going to have to talk face to face because this is ridiculous. I asked her to call me in the first email which she didn’t. So, I sent this email to her:

I’m beyond frustrated. I’ve still not received the paperwork.  It did not come home on Friday as your teacher indicated.  It’s been almost 2 weeks of me requesting it.  I received classwork from 2/19 on 3/18. The assignment was graded at 35% for class work not 15%.  I want to see the assignment. Please have it sent to me by tomorrow.

Do you see what I’m seeing from the back and forth? The paperwork can’t be found. Now, remember that I asked for the paperwork on 3/10 and it’s now 3/22 and I still haven’t received it. I felt a set-up coming on…they were going to try and blame Munch for the missing assignment.

Not on my dime buddy.

The Principal then called me at this point. She could sense my “I’m about to set it off up in here mood”. I didn’t set it off, but I did let her know that I’m disappointed, discouraged and outright disgusted at her email and her blowing me off and trying to analyze my child without seeing the “missing paperwork”. I told her that apparently they’ve misplaced the paperwork and why didn’t the teacher send a copy home or PDF it to me on 3/10? Why wait until 3/18 when she had already given the grade? I told her that I was disappointed that her attitude regarding the policy is that the teacher can do whatever he/she likes even though their is specific criteria regarding children in grades 2-5 and that I should be checking the district’s School Max portal for updates on assignments when this teacher has told me that she’s falling behind on putting grades in. Are you going to manage her and tell her the guidelines say that grades have to be recorded by 11:59 pm on Sunday night each week that they are done or are you going to tell me that policy doesn’t apply here either?

She then tried to back peddle and say that she was new to the school and that she’s sorry that I don’t find the teachers compassionate. What? I responded, “Don’t do that. I’ve never said that. I expect that if I’m corresponding with you on a weekly basis that if you gave my son a zero that you would have notified me. What part of that isn’t clear?” She asked “Do you meet with the teachers?” “Yes, I’ve already had 3 this school year and the last one was last week on 3/15 which I asked her to be at and she informed me that she had a prior commitment.”

I explained that I’m trying to teach my son accountability but apparently that’s not a requirement for her or her staff. She apologized and said she was trying to locate the paper and would call me back. This is right before spring break so she would call me the next day.

She didn’t call back as she promised. Another disappointing outcome from the educator. So, I tabled it because we had a meeting scheduled on April 5th to discuss the bullying and this would be included in that meeting.

Here are my 4 concerns with how this situation is being handled:

  1. No one can produce the said assignment. They tried to blame Munch for losing it when they know that they didn’t send it home. Even if they did send it home, why didn’t they make a copy since it was a zero? Why didn’t she PDF it to me the same day I requested to see the paperwork? Especially when I email her every week.
  2. The Principal making it seem like I’m not an involved parent. You should have checked yourself when I sent you the first email and outlined the policy. That right there was your “verbal cues” (as you said) that would indicate that I’m educated, involved and informed on policy. Asking me whether or not I have had conferences with the teachers assumed that I’m slacking on my part as a parent.
  3. The condescending attitude that I should have to check the School Max portal to find out about grades because sending paperwork home timely is not going to happen. Are you serious? In 2015, my district had 66% of the students enrolled in the school system receiving free and/or reduced lunches. I don’t qualify, but if a district has a high proportionate number of children not having the funds to buy meals why would you assume that parents have access to a computer? The district doesn’t expect this to be the case which is why the state that classwork should be sent back home in a timely manner for the parents and the students to have an understanding of how their child is doing in class. The Principal assumes this in light of not knowing the population she represents.
  4. You are not being accountable. You said you would call me back and you didn’t. You could have sent a quick email and said “I can’t locate the paperwork and I’m getting swamped before my international travel, so let’s discuss at our meeting on April 5th”. I would have been disappointed but understood because she was traveling to Paris with the 8th graders for spring break.

This was getting ridiculous and I needed to calm down before I raised my blood pressure. I was disappointed to say the least but knew that I would handle this situation as soon as spring break was over. I had no choice. This administration was giving me a headache.

Broken And Wounded

I have to tell you that sometimes I don’t pray. Not that I don’t know how to pray. It’s not that. It’s that I am embarrassed because I hadn’t done it in so long. I hadn’t just had a conversation with God and meditated on His word. I was so busy being me and living life that I put God in the corner. I put the almighty in a box. – Journal entry

Sigh.

As I started writing my #wednesdaywisdom message, I re-read my journal post and realized that I was fumbling with my faith. That I was not praying like I should. Actually, I hadn’t prayed in almost a month when I wrote that journal entry. I was trying to handle my own stuff.

I bet I’m also not alone on this. I think we all get in the mindset that we can handle it on our own and that things are going well we don’t need to check-in with God because He can see us right? I became a fair weather Christian. Calling on Him only in my time of need. Making decisions without seeking God’s counsel.

You know what happened next right? Tragedy. I found myself in the worse pain of my life. My marriage had ended and I was brokenhearted and distraught at the pain I was going through. It was brutal. It was like a never-ending cycle of hell. I was so wounded by the words that were thrown around, the sides people I loved were taking and the inability to stop the noise in my head.

I was on my knees praying and crying for a peace that I felt like would never come. How could it? How could I get the peace I was praying for when I couldn’t stop the noise?

By submitting. I needed to submit. I needed to submit to the will of the situation and allow God to come in and do His will.

He did.

It was done.

I want to encourage you on this #wisdomwednesday with this message:

Psalm 147:3 (NRSV)

He heals the brokenhearted

and binds up their wounds.

No matter what you’re going through know that God heals the brokenhearted and will bind your wounds. Give it to God! Pray. Sometimes it will seem that you can’t hear God’s word because of the noise in your head and here’s how you can clear the noise:

Write a list of three things you’re thankful for on that day!

That’s it. It’s that simple. Make it a part of your daily prayer and meditation process. This writing your blessings and acknowledging His gratitude and grace over your life will help clear the noise out of your life. It will start to diminish the chaos in your mind and spirit. You are then able to see visually all that you have in spite of what you have going on in your spirit.

It is easy. It won’t happen overnight though. You have to keep with it. You know you “have to go through it to get to it” right? Peace will come. Your spirit will heal and your wounds will be bound. You will have a testimony once you’ve gone through the test. Just be patient my love.

Be blessed!

Black Lives Matter: Walter Scott

By now you’ve all heard of Walter Scott and the horrific way in which he was gunned down on Saturday, April 4, 2015. If you haven’t seen the video, I encourage you to watch it here:

Now, what’s interesting is that after high-profile incidents in the news (Cleveland, Ohio and Ferguson, Missouri) you would have thought that all officers are on a training schedule to talk about excessive force. But, apparently that is wishful thinking. Why must we keep trying to hashtag #blacklivesmatter to remind people that racism is still occurring in this country? Why do we insist on turning a blind eye and saying that we don’t see color. Let me be clear then…You don’t see me.

Because if you see me. You would see a black woman. You would see a black mother who loves her black son. You would see a curvy black woman with more booty than she wants to admit. You would see a smart black woman with a laugh that is rich, full and loud. You would see a nerdy black woman. You would see me. To say that you don’t see color means that you don’t see me.

You’re just sitting on the sidelines and ignoring the injustices that continue to occur in my community. Mine. I live in Maryland, not South Carolina. But, he is a black man who was murdered. I am raising a black son. Hopefully, my munch will grow up to be a black man. I’ve shared with you my fear that I have to teach him things that my friends who are not black don’t have to teach their children. You know things like:

  • If pulled over, always be respectful. Yes sir. No sir. Don’t ever be disrespectful.
  • You may be humiliated son by someone who doesn’t like you for the color of your skin, but let him humiliate you. I know it will hurt and it will break my heart that the humiliation is akin to the ones your ancestors suffered in slavery, but take it baby. I want you to live.
  • Always memorize a badge number and name.
  • Don’t have more than one other black male in the car with you. Too many black boys and people may get scared.

It’s a shame. We shouldn’t have to prepare our black boys for this horrific world. They’re boys. They’re children. They’re loved. They’re wanted. They’re needed. How come people can’t see that?

Walter Scott was arrested before. Mainly for unpaid child support and not showing up to court. He wasn’t a saint, but who is? Are we to determine that he deserved to be shot down 8 times in the back like a dog? Are we really going to play innocent and think that he deserved to die? That his children deserve this? His mother? His siblings?

No one deserves this. Thankfully, the officer that shot him, Michael Slager, was arrested and charged with first degree murder last week. This is progress right? A step in the right direction.

Time Magazine released their latest cover to bring light to the fact that this is still an issue. That #blacklivesmatter and we need to stop the senseless gunning down of black men. There is a war out there people! I pray that our government will get involved in trying to curtail some of this violence by allowing the federal government to investigate questionable deaths among police officers.

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Gearing Up for Spring Cleaning

As you know spring is here!  Although the temperatures here are spring-like today (70 will be the high), I had to start my list and spring clean. What kind of cleaning do I need to do? Cleaning both my personal and professional lives.

Some of the things that I want to do personally:

  • Pack away my winter clothes in an organized fashion and get those totes in some closets. They are just collecting space in the corners.
  • Repaint my dining room wall that was damaged last year due to multiple pipe bursts. I think I was too emotionally drained to repaint. I need to do this.
  • Change my bathroom colors. I need something warm and brighter. I need to feel energized and excited.
  • Organize and donate excess clothes and toys in munch’s room. It’s overflowing and I’m getting tired of tripping over it all.
  • Finish my book.

Some of the things that I want to do professionally:

  • Attend this conference locally on April 25th. I need the credits for my re- certification for a professional license I hold.
  • Get re-certified.
  • Get another certification.
  • Find a mentor.

That’s it. I know it seems like a lot, but I really have to focus and get my mind right. Clear out the winter fog and get busy. I hate lists, but I know if I don’t right it down I can’t remember anything. What about you? What kind of spring cleaning are you planning to do?