I’m Too Old for This

Yep, I’m saying it. I may not look like I’m 40, but I am. I am too old to be turning it up like I’m 21. I can’t handle the turn up.

Verb:1) Getting loose, being wild and potentially engaging in sexual activity with members of the opposite gender (or the same gender if that’s what you’re in to)
2) Acting crazy due to consumption of large amounts of alcohol, marijuana, mollyΒ or other drugs

It can be used as a noun where it is spelled “turnt up” instead of “turned up” as grammatical conventions would suggest.Turnt up isused to described the state of being wild and crazy like someone would be at a party.It is not to be confused with the vegetable, the turnip, to which it shares some phonic similarities but is otherwise entirely unrelated

Example: Β We’re gonna turn up tonight at John’s party.
– Urban Dictionary

Point of clarification. There was no sexual behavior or drugs involved in my turn up story. Only a large consumption of alcohol.

So, what happened was….

My girlfriend is a bartender and invited me out to her bar last Saturday night. I was upset about something and she said you need to get out. Come out and hang with me. We’re going to drink and smoke hookah. Umm, sure why not.

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Disclaimer: She’s 32. I’m 40. Stuff starts to go after 40. LOL!Β She hasn’t learned that yet.

I didn’t want to look desperate hanging out at a bar alone so I invited a friend to come with me and hang out. Strictly friendship. Weird, but I trusted that he would have my back in case I got twisted also known as drunk.

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We arrived about 9 pm and got bar food and drinks. The music was soo good. Especially when the band got there and started playing. Live music, hookah and drinks. It got no better. After 5 drinks that she was just mixing up and has now named “Grape Kool-Aid” she cut me off and served me water.

Nope. I want more Kool-Aid. Another drink bartender. I was getting a little tipsy. I was tired of drinking water but the vibe in the bar was so energetic.

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The next thing I remember is that they were cutting on the lights and it was time to go home. It was 2 am. I had actually stayed in a bar for 5 hours. Where did the time go? Thankfully, I wasn’t the designated driver. I arrived home safely and I paid for my night of fun the next two days. Ugh! I was hungover.

I went out to dinner with a friend Sunday night and I thought I would die. I was turning green at the dinner table. He asked, “Are you okay?” “No” I yelled and raced to the bathroom. I started crying and holding back the vomit and begged for sweet baby Jesus to please heal me. Water wasn’t helping. The room was spinning.

I didn’t throw up but asked him to take me home. He said “Okay” and drove me back home. I crawled back in bed, took 3 aspirin, drank water and prayed that I would be well enough to go to work the next day. I realized that I’m too old to be having a hangover and swore that I would never drink this much again.

Lesson learned!

 

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