Sometimes I feel that I can’t win for losing. I’m either told that I’m too strong, too independent or too ambitious for some men. Do you know how frustrating that can be for women? A feminist? You don’t?
It goes like this: we want a man who values our independence, sees our strength and appreciates the core of who we are. But, are we turning men off?
My mother never taught me how to be a wife. She taught me how to be self-sufficient because that is what she had to do. She had to raise three children on her own. She taught me how to be strong. It was then (at an early age) that I realized that I would have my own before I became a unit.
I worked hard in college by working two and three jobs and carrying a full class load. I never dated a dope boy or traded my sanity for anything illegal or immoral. I was too strong and independent for that. I didn’t know what I wanted to do at first, but I realized that I had to pay my bills in the interim. I had to figure out how to survive on my own. Being strong was both scary and powerful.
But it came at a cost in some situations. My independent attitude scared some men away. I didn’t care because I wasn’t going to change, but I wondered would I find someone who would see me as smart and sexy and know that even though I didn’t need him that I would want him.
Some did know. Others didn’t because I’m kind of guarded. I say that chivalry was dead until I met him. Mr. K says that it is a man’s ego whereby he can’t see where he fits into the life of a smart and strong woman. He wants to be the man. He said chivalry isn’t dead, just men not knowing how to handle the strong and independent woman.
I sit back and think about what he said and wonder why then do so many men want an independent woman and then criticize her once he gets her for being too independent. Is there really such a thing? LOL. Is she really trying to be the man or do you not have the depth of communication and intelligence to reach her? Maybe a little bit of both? I don’t know. I don’t understand how if we’re both successful then why do some men feel threatened?
So, where do some strong and independent women end up? Alone. One is a lonely number. But, it is also the first number. The beginning. The chance to define ourselves. Independent, strong and fearless women should be applauded. There is nothing wrong with us. We are who we are meant to be.
Too much for some men. But, not for the real men.
Until next time!