The other day a friend and I were conversing about the state of men and women relationships. He dropped some really deep knowledge on me that I felt compelled to write and share with everyone. Now, before I do that, let me give you the following disclaimers…
- We were sober. No alcohol.
- He’s jaded and believes that people are not programmed to be faithful.
- He’s in his 40’s.
- He’s divorced.
- He’s happily single.
LOL! I thought it best to share the specifics before continuing. But, what he said made sense to me. He said that women have five basic things that they need from a man. He said that it applies to all women. I disagreed and said maybe the majority (85%) would agree.
Here’s what he determines that women need:
- A provider. A man that will provide for his family whether financially or any way that she needs and views him as a provider. Doesn’t mean that she doesn’t have to work but that he is her partner. She is his helpmate.
- A protector. A man that will protect her should someone harm or disrespect his woman or their family. She needs to know that he won’t hesitate to fight someone in her honor.
- An intellectually stimulating man. A man that can stimulate her intellectually. She needs a man that can have conversations about any and everything that she finds to be of importance.
- An emotionally stimulating man. A man that will meet her emotional needs. Be concerned when need be and provide her the emotional support she desires if she is going through something that she finds challenging or difficult.
- A man that is an animal in bed. A man that will satisfy his woman completely with whatever they desire in bed.
What do you think ladies? Could you see this as being true? Do you disagree? Now, don’t get me wrong. I think you could add more to the list or rearrange to suit your needs, but many of us would agree to keep at least two of the basic needs right based on our views, morals, personal experiences and such?
However, I guess the bigger question is that if it is that simple, then why can’t we find eligible suitors? Are we looking for perfection? Are we too hard to please? Probably a little bit of both, but I guess it makes you wonder why can’t men meet those needs if they are that simple?
Ah, the joys of dating!
clever. funny. emotionally intelligent. secure. generous.
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He came up with a pretty good list. But I agree if it was so simple then why is it so hard to find matches? Lol. Maybe it’s all the other complicated things in between. A person’s past, personality, and life circumstances.
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YESSS GIRL! I think it is a combination of all those other issues that we start weeding folks out.
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very funny 🙂
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This would make an awesome round table discussion. Or Podcast topic 😉.
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I can say that I have found that man! He is all of that! 17 years we have been together. Women, some men you have to work with them. Mold and shape them into the men you need for them to be! Are you willing to work at it? Take those TOADS and turn them into the KINGS you NEED/WANT them to be!
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I have that Man! He is a provider, emotionally and intellectually stimulating, awesome in bed, and everything in between. We have been together 17 years! Ladies, you have to turn those TOADS into KINGS! You have to clean them up if need be! They aren’t going to be who we may need them to be and neither are we. Are you looking for a six figure income man, that five figure one will do if he knows how to manage money, good credit, works hard
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And is a great provider with good benefits. So stop looking over the TOADS because you may be passing over your KING!
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Loved your comments. Would you like to write a guest post about women looking over Toads for my blog?
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I sure would! Thanks so much!
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Great! Just send an article in word to me with the title and I will post it. My email is info@athomaspointofview.com
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OK. I will. Thanks once again for the opportunity!
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Reblogged this on Dream Big, Dream Often and commented:
I would like everyone to meet A Thomas Point of View!!
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thank you for the reblog!
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It is my pleasure!
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batteries…sometimes she wants to have private time…
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Yes, that would definitely need to be added.
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when i posted this comment i was kinda holding my breath…sooo many people get pissed at my twisted humor…you don’t sound pissed, maybe even smiled…or smirked
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Nope. It’s true. I can’t be mad at the truth. LOL. Your humor didn’t sound twisted to me.
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that’s good…
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lol This is brilliant 🙂
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Thank you. I actually thought what he said made sense.
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I agree ☺
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This is hilarious. Thank you!
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Thank you.
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Found you via http://dreambigdreamoften.co…great post. Reminds me of a joke…why do women need make up and perfume? Because they are ugly and they stink lol.
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Thank you for the follow. Thanks for the compliment. We’re all just searching for something. My friend says that no man has all those qualities. Women just decide from the list which they want more.
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Every time I ty to send it to you via email, it says delivery failed.
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Okay send it to tikeethathomas@gmail.com please.
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I think this applies to all partners, male or female. I can’t wait to see the blog you do when you’re not sober – on the same subject 😉
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LOL. We’ll see. I’m trying to be healthier so I haven’t really had a drink in a couple of months. It is killing me though.
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I think your friend takes the heart aspect out of providing those actions. I think the main thing a woman needs is to be loved. If you can make a woman feel loved, then you have pleased her. And, if you can meet her expectations for a man in her life, then you can compliment her.
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That is the truth. But, what if someone’s idea of love is not what you need?
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Then they’re not for you. No one can please everyone. Or they’ll change their idea to meet your needs if they love you enough.
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Honestly, I’ve been married near 30 years. Sex dwindles and sometimes dies. Best to fin a man who keeps you warm.
fiddledeedeebooks.wordpress.com
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I think the problem comes in the eyes of the man and the woman involved. Yes, if that is the formula and there are 5 things to focus on, then it is pretty simple. Though, what I expect from a protector or a provider is not the same as what another women expects and to that point, not the same as what every man would define those things as. Then also depending on your emotions and intellect, what you need to stimulate you and calm you is different then what others need and/or are capable of!!! Lastly, I am sure that this could go unsaid….but what I need from my “animal” in bed is COMPLETELY different then what some others need. What turns you on and gets you off….well there is not 1 simple answer to that either. See……so very complicated! Though, at its root, I believe that these 5 things are in fact a solid foundation.
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Yep. 5 things. Each woman defines them but basically that’s what we want in a man. He told me that the key is figuring out what matters most to you because you will never find all things in one man. Heck, we wouldn’t be able to find them in a woman.
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Wanting to be the source of your partners happiness, by doing all those things you discussed. If only it were as easy as ticking those boxes. I think these are the basics and I know lots of guys who tick them (and oh so many more who don’t.)
But we don’t just want a generic guy, you need the unexplained click or connection between two people. Basically banter, never underestimate banter.
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Thanks for commenting. Banter would fall under communication. You want someone who can communicate. Whatever style you need. The point is that it is only 5 things and they usually fall into those categories.
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These are great! Definitely a great look into the psyche of women. 😉
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LOL. We all want perfection and it is not there. We just need to find out what is important to us.
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Exactly. It’s a subjective matter for sure!
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