2017 advice dating dating chronicles relationships

The Indecent Proposal

Last month, Mr. C and I were talking about my car. He said that it sounded a little louder than his Maxima and maybe I should check it out. LOL, really? Now, Mr. C just traded in his Maxima and got a new car so I was wondering if he’s now just used to his new car feel/sound. But, I listened (see, that’s a good thing) and told him that there are no service lights lit up on the dashboard, but I thought it sounded a little loud, but didn’t know if I was hearing things since other people think I do all the time.

He asked me to probably start with a tune-up and something else. I honestly can’t remember at this point. So, last week in my sick condition, I had to go and get my oil changed because I was well over the light and afraid my car would die in these frigid conditions. The struggle is real when your car is no longer covered under the warranty. I got my frail body up and went to get my oil changed and my tires rotated.

I was there for over 3 hours because I had missed my original appointment and was now considered a walk-in. I didn’t have anywhere else to go until my hair appointment at 2 pm so I waited. Mr. C called and asked me to inquire about the tune-up. Then he instructed me to call the dealer because he would prefer that I get it there. I said, “Okay, I’ll do it.”

Do you know the cost quoted for the tune-up was $657. Yep, that was US dollars. I told them that I would call the dealership to compare quotes, and let them know. I called the Nissan dealership and you know what they quoted me? $900. What the hell! Are you kidding me? I sighed.

I went back up to the counter because I knew that I couldn’t afford to get the tune-up at the dealership. I asked the cashier “Can I get a discount?” A black woman who is a single parent and just got through Christmas and my birthday has no shame when it comes to money. The worse that you could say is no.

So, there were three men behind the counter at the time when he told me the price of the tune-up. One asked the cashier “Why so much?” He said that it was because I had a 6 cylinder engine. Uh huh. So, the man that was questioning the cashier said that he could do it for $350. I feeling like that amount was still too much asked “Can’t you do it cheaper? Maybe $250?” He said, “I can do it for $250 and a date”.

I paused. I replied, “Well, thank you for the offer. I have to figure out a way to pay for my tune-up, but I can’t go on a date with you. I have a man. I’m in a relationship.” He was polite and didn’t push it any further. The cashier said that he could do it for $350 cash. I replied, “Let me get back to you. Christmas just ended.”

I told Mr. C what happened after I left and he was peeved. He said that “That’s not how a grown man acts. No man asks a woman for date like that.” He thought that the man was taking advantage of me and of other women by propositioning a date for a reduction in fees for service. I replied, “I have a man so it doesn’t matter.” He responded, “That’s not the point. Would you go out on a date with him if we weren’t together?”

We went back and forth on that for a good 8 hours off and on. I kept saying “I don’t know. I have a man so it doesn’t apply to me.” Well, he didn’t find that answer acceptable. So, I talked to my girlfriend about it and she said “T, think of it like this. Would you ever date a man who proposed reduced fees for car repairs?

I thought about it and said no. I told her that as a rape survivor, I would never go out with a man on a date for some quid pro quo stuff. Especially if I didn’t know him. I told her that I would be so afraid that he would attack me.”

She said exactly.

I got it. That’s what Mr. C wanted to hear. No matter how dire my circumstances that I would never date a man for a price reduction on car repairs. He said it was a question of character. I explained that he should know my character. I’m a survivor of sexual assault, molestation and rape and would never trade my body or time for a deal.

He said good.



But, what would you do? Would you go on a date with someone for a hook-up on something? Even if you were in a  relationship?


  1. God’s honest truth, it would depend on how desperate I was to take care of my kids and how dire the rest of my circumstances were, i.e. Is the car running at all and how much money do I have if any….

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I completely understand. I would consider it if the car wasn’t working, I had no friends or family. Most of my friends or family would loan me money even if they had to charge it to their credit card, so it would have to very dire. But, the key is that you are the provider for your children so you as the mother would do everything to protect your children.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Not this really is applicable, me being a man, but I would not. I suppose there are instances where a woman would offer an enticement to a man in that manner, but the opposite is more likely, I’m sure. But no, either way, it’s like being paid for “services”. Nope, never. And if already in a relationship? Not even an option to consider.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I always wonder what dudes like that are really thinking. Like if I say yes, do you expect me to be a great woman who will love and respect you or do you think ill be the kind of woman you need to give “treats” to like specialty discounts on items. it just never rubs me the right way. good for you for saying no.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I agree. But I do see the dilemma, not that I would ever go out with someone for a deal! But let’s say hypothetically that this service man never asked anyone out for a date from the counter before. Let’s say he was legitimately interested in you. Let’s look at the fact that he is employed and knows a trade. I have friends that are single and Christian. They work all day and go home. They can’t meet anyone at a bar or club- they don’t go. They haven’t found anyone in our church and they pray for a mate. What if they were attracted to someone that walked into their work one day?

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I am liking your Mr. C!! When we learn from our men—the proper etiquette in addressing a woman it is awesome…a gift so often mistaken for being territorial. Mr. C does not attribute your traumatic events as a part of you, Tikeetha…its not your character, its your past…it doesn’t make you who are. I admire him for asking you and not assuming you would say no. So many women would have said yes because they were/are rape/molestation victims, more would have said yes if they were not. Thank you for sharing. I see so much growth and love in your blogs. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Yeck! The nerve. It’s happened to me and I just never went back. This story and your closing questions reminded me of the scene in Forrest Gump when Forrest’s mom slept with the school principal(?) to guarantee his place in a good school. I’m all for bartering, but to go through with something like that, a DATE? Nah. Sounds like you’re selling your dignity.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh and that answer assumes I’m not in a relationship or even just dating. Whatever you’re relationship status, it still doesn’t change the reality that a favor was required for a favor and if payment is required then it is not a favor. ~~dru~~

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Few things surprise me these days, but I CANNOT believe that guy said that. Offering to knock off $100 in exchange for a date? That’s not a compliment, it’s a power play. Good for you for turning him down. You should notify the owner that’s how his men represent the company — unless, God forbid, the owner was one of the other men standing there or the guy who made the offer. Then you need to find a new place for car repair.

    Liked by 1 person

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