Medicine – Part 1

I’m sitting here next to his body. His breathing is shallow. Maybe I hit him too hard over the head? I don’t know. I really don’t care. I hate a lying ass man. I screamed.

The blood was seeping out of the gunshot wound to his inner thigh. The pool of blood was red an almost burgundy color it hurt my eyes to look at it. I probably hit an artery.

Fuck it. He deserves to die. He deserves to feel this pain.

He now will have an inkling of how I felt when he lied to me. Dumb ass. It’s his fault that I’m doing this. I was just fine until he came into my life promising me shit he knew he couldn’t deliver.

I screamed “You fake ass bitch!” He just moaned.

He did this to me.

My head hurts. So many nights I cried. So many ways I let this man leave his seed in my womb only to have him cheat on me with his whores.

My head hurts. The pain is excruciating. I need some aspirin.

I silently sing Queen Naja’s lyrics to her song Karma:

 

‘Cause obviously you forgot all the times
That I held you when you cried
And don’t you remember that
Even if you was in the wrong I stood by your side?
No, I guess not, I guess not
‘Cause you let them thots take my spot
Congratulations to you
What you wanted is what you got now (you got now, baby)

 

This man had me fucked all the way up. Talking about he loves me. He wants me. He wants to taste me. “Let me lead your spirit” he said. Lying ass man.

I kicked him in his dick and he groaned.

“That’s what you get” I yelled.

See, I learned a long time ago that these men are all running game on women. We fall for it. We believe their lies. I thought he was different. I prayed he was different.

Nope, he’s just like the others. Well, I couldn’t take it no more. He should’ve just left me the hell alone. Instead he had my head and heart all screwed up.

I remember meeting him last year.

I kept looking at him. I watched him walk into the bar and thought that he was the most beautiful man that I had ever laid eyes on. I kept thinking that his lips were so luscious and the rapper, LL Cool J, had nothing on this man’s lips.

He had those lips that you just want to lick and kiss every day and night of your life. The sexy lips that you would wish you were the chapstick that he was putting on them in the morning. Yep, those lips.

I tried to play it cool and avoid eye contact with him. I could tell that he was dangerous. I could sense it. But, he approached. He had caught me staring and he wanted me as much as I wanted him. I could feel it. He could feel it.

He bought me a drink. We chatted casually. He asked me could he call me. I should’ve said no. But, I was horny. I hadn’t been with anyone in a couple of years. I was dying to feel him inside of me.

So, I gave in.

I gave him my number. Why the hell did I do that?

See, the problem is that we women get so desperate for a little attention from a fine, educated and single man that we just believe the bullshit hoping that he will be the “one”. You know the one that will have us screaming in tongues and then take us to church on Sunday.

Yeah. I thought he was the one.

Our first date was to the bowling alley. I should have known it was just a game. He just wanted the opportunity to look at my ass. Every time I bent over I felt him watching me. I turned and caught him licking his lips a couple of times.

Damn! His sexy lips. I wanted to feel them on me.

After bowling we decided to head to a late night bar and listen to some jazz. It was sexy as hell. Most men his age didn’t like jazz. He had taste.

I kept my eyes totally focused on him thinking that he could get it.

I was acting like a damn dog in heat and couldn’t understand where this attraction and downright lust for this man was coming from.

He walked me to my car at the end of the evening. He kissed me and I became undone. His kiss was so gentle and his tongue did something to me that I still can’t explain. I had never been kissed like that before.

I should’ve known that he was no good. A man that can take his time on your lips and make you forget all the other men, I should’ve walked away. But, I was too wrapped up in his charm. The sweet kisses on my neck and his promises of putting me first.

I didn’t sleep with him. Not without a lot of restraint. It was killing me. But, I didn’t want him to think me a loose woman. I wanted more than a quick fuck. I wanted a relationship with this man. I wanted to birth his dreams.

We said good night and made plans to see each other later.

I sent him a text when I got home alerting him that I had arrived safely.  He replied right back. He sent me a text letting me know that he can’t wait to see where this goes. I replied. Me too.

I sighed. I still smelled his cologne on my skin. I still felt his lips on mine.

I liked him. It had been so long since I had a man that had his shit together mentally, financially, physically and spiritually that I couldn’t believe how lucky I was to have met him.

He called it serendipitous. I smiled. I was going to believe that it was fortuitous that we met.

 

-To Be Continued-

 

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